I was wondering how i can be more sexual with my bf. We've been dating for a year, and we only hae sex once a week, which is not enough for him. He wonders why I am not more "open" to having more intercourse, though I really enjoy it, and lover him as well. From the comparisons to other people my age (20), they have sex many times during the week. I know this isn't normal-- but what can be the problem?Is there some kind of subconscious thing going on? I also don't like French Kissing which really bothers him, and he feels as though I don't show my affection sexually. but i dont have a reason to be like this. Others times , like if we are out in the street, I hug him alot, but I just can't seem to feel more sexual. What can the problem be, and how can I naturally increase my sex drive? It really bothers him because he is way more sexual than I am, and he always makes a big deal out of this.
2006-08-15 11:09:19 · 11 answers · asked by ? 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I do feel very attracted to him, hes gorgeous, and I think he's got the best personality.
2006-08-15 11:17:53 · update #1
I sometimes get the same way with my boyfriend. I am definitely a very sexual person, but sometimes I just don't want to have sex. I don't think there is anything wrong with you, just like I don't think there is a normal relationship. I mean who can define normal. Maybe you shouldn't worry so much about trying to become more sexual. Everybody has a different sexual appetite. Don't force yourself to have sex with him because he wants more of it, in the end you won't get anything out of it. And it really shouldn't bother him that you don't like "French kissing." I never really like cuddling with my boyfriends after sex, which a lot of girls do. But hey I think that's normal for me. Maybe you should talk to him about how you are feeling.
2006-08-15 13:03:58 · answer #1 · answered by nh_rvr_chk_88 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either he's not flicking the right switches, or you just love him more as a friend than a lover....though you enjoy sex some of the time.
If you feel you want to be more sexual with him, then try to relax more. Maybe it's the pressure of him wanting more sex thats dampening your own urges. Talk to each other more openly and find out what the other wants, or, how they want it.
Also, you are only 20 so you've got plenty of time to enjoy yourself.
2006-08-15 18:21:29 · answer #2 · answered by TK 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
every-ones libido is different, its unfortunate that this is creating problems in your relationship. You have a low sex drive and you will probably have to find a partner with the same level. The fact that you don't enjoy french kissing may suggest that you have some sub-conscious reservations about your partner
2006-08-15 18:35:27 · answer #3 · answered by Daddybear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems like maybe ur afraid of being naturally sexy. u sound very inhibited..is there something u don't trust about him? do u feel that he judges u? do u feel truly comfortable w/ him?
well, if u don't , try to work on it. explain to him that u need some time to do things slowly... the more comfortable around him u are, the more u will trust him, and the easier it will be for you to "go with the flow"....and also to accept and appreciate the positive things about a physical relationship. good luck~
2006-08-15 18:30:47 · answer #4 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problem sounds like you're not really that attracted to him. I'm not saying that you don't love him, but maybe if you met the right person, you would feel more sexually drawn to them. He might not be the one.
2006-08-15 18:16:50 · answer #5 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're 20. Don't be so worried about sex. Enjoy your youth and deal with sex later. If he makes a big deal about you being you, dump him.
2006-08-15 18:16:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it may be a hormonal imbalance... talk to an ob... there may be something off with your estrogen levels... I used to be a nympho with my husband, then when I went on the pill, I turned into a prude.... def talk to a dr before you let this one slide, he sounds liek a keeper
2006-08-15 19:43:41 · answer #7 · answered by braslinbabe85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you're just not that into him. when you find the right one, you probably will not be able to help yourself.
2006-08-15 18:15:37 · answer #8 · answered by jcmelby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take one for the team (your body) and just go at it more... you won't mind.
2006-08-15 18:15:05 · answer #9 · answered by blu_dragon_1004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get another boyfriend.
2006-08-15 18:17:02 · answer #10 · answered by BennyBoomBoom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋