My BF and I have been in a committed relationship for 6 yrs. He is going through depression and says he constantly worries about me. He can't tell me exactly why he worries. I think it is because he works mega hrs. and worries about what I do when he is away. I DO NOT cheat. But his ex wife did for 2 yrs before he found out and divorced her. I do not want to be judged by his ex. I realize he is in a vulnerable state right now. He told me he did not want a relationship, I made arrangements to leave but he begged me to stay. He has apologized and told me he loves me and is in love with me. I am still undecided about what to do. I do love him and I am understanding but I don't want to live in an emotionaly unstable state. since he has told me that he was blocking his feelings because of worry and anxiety he has been clinging and wanting sex almost every time we get the chance. Now he wants to spend all of his free time with me. What is going on?
2006-08-15 10:42:35 · 9 answers · asked by Len 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know he is not cheating. Nor has he ever cheated.
2006-08-15 10:43:25 · update #1
He has all th e symptoms of
generalized anxiety disorder. he has had thi before and generally comes out of it in 2 to 3 months.
2006-08-15 10:45:12 · update #2
He does not seem to be able to move beyond his past marriage. A book I read that helped me deal with divorce was call "Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building A New Life" by Abigail Trafford. He probably needs to read it, but I would suggest maybe you ought to. I might help you understand what he is going through. However, it sounds more like he needs some professional help if he - after six years - still hasn't moved beyound his marriage. Normally they say it takes five years to move on totally. I don't know what his whole story is but it sounds like he is suffering from what is called divorce burn out. I would doubt that is what he really wants.
2006-08-15 10:56:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with some of the posters. This is a problem that's beyond your capabilities to do anything about. You need to see a therapist together. This is a trust issue with himself stemming from his past relationship with his ex wife and he seems to have been traumatized by it. It will only get worse until you seek help, either together or him alone. No amount of reassurance on your part will make him feel better since the problem is with him, not you.
2006-08-15 18:02:40 · answer #2 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to to do is discuss the situation together. Maybe suggest he sees his doctor who can prescribe some medication to help him get over the anxiety attacks. Another thing he has to realize is that you are not his ex and you are not cheating. This issue may cause major problems for the entire relationship until it is resolved.
2006-08-15 17:49:43 · answer #3 · answered by middle aged and love it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a therapist together. Unmarried couples can go to counseling too. Then if issues arise with just him the therapist will suggest additional counseling for him only. Many people take that better coming from a third party.
2006-08-15 17:49:42 · answer #4 · answered by genaddt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He taking advantage of that time to spend with you. An you have to prove to him that you are nothing like his ex you would not do what what she did to him. Actions speak louder than words.
2006-08-15 17:50:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to counceling, he needs to have closure of the ex first and for him to learn to treat you the way you deserve to be treated, not the way his ex has formed him to be. Stand by his side with all of this and go with to the counceling, and talk talk talk about everything!! good luck
2006-08-15 17:51:34 · answer #6 · answered by dnmhbk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs therapy. You do not need couples counseling.
Give him your love and tell him you're faithful. Send him to therapy to work out his trust issues.
2006-08-15 18:16:17 · answer #7 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a shrink!
2006-08-15 17:47:50 · answer #8 · answered by lolitakali 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds confused to me!
2006-08-15 17:50:15 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋