First name for women, last name for men?

Question

I have worked for my company for a while but this is a new building/location for me. I've noticed that the housekeeping guy who gathers our trash every day refers to the men using Mr. and their last name. "Is Mr. Smith in today?" When he refers to the women in the offices he uses first names. "Is Jennifer in today?"

The housekeeping guy is very nice and personable but I wouldn't want to ask him because he might think I am offended and feel badly. I'm really outright curious about it. I think it's different.

These people are all in his general age group so age doesn't seem to be an explanation. At least one woman and man are in the same level/type of job together so I don't think position explains it. All of the people in the office are Caucasian with one exception of someone who is Middle Eastern (but not sure which country).

The housekeeper is Black but I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

Any ideas?

Thanks for the answers. If anyone is checking back, I'll clarify that I'm not bothered by it or trying to find negative reason for him doing this. It's simple: he addresses men one way and women the other and I thought others might have a reason I hadn't considered.
I think the whole married thing is a good point. He could've had some bad experiences of women yelling "don't call me Miss, I'm married, it's Missus to you."
He's a nice guy and I'm not assuming it's because he's sexist or Black or anything. I had never thought of the married thing...
See, having this type of forum is nice because we do unearth some possibilities.

Answer 1

I can totally understand that housekeeper's predicament.
I am assuming he must be from the older generation and would normally given a normal situation use Mr or Ms So & So..etc.
A lot of women, including myself dont like to be called Ms or Mrs or Miss so&so as it sounds "older" or matronly. Even so it is many times taking a guess on the marital situation (Miss or Mrs and pronoucing Ms is sticky at best) whereas with men its Mr and most guys dont care about what you call them.

Answer 2

He seems like a nice guy, so I don't think he's being sexist at all. From my personal experience I have discovered that:

People refer to other people by their first names when they feel comfortable with that person.

People refer to other people with proper names when they dislike them or don't trust them or feel uncomfortable around them.

I'm from the south US, so maybe "ya'll" act differently, but generally, we prefer to be informal. Unless it's an older person. For example, Mrs. Pamela Whittington (i'm making this name up) would be called "Miz Pam" out respect. However, the nickname is informal enough that it still shows familiarity and affection for the elderly lady.

I think the only reason he doesn't call you "Miz" or "Ms." is because you are much younger than him.

I agree with Gidget- the women in the office probably treat the janitor better than the men do.

Answer 3

And the really, answer is......He may not know for sure if the woman is married or not. With men (and in an attempt to be respectful) addressing them as Mr. he can't go wrong. But with women you have Miss, Mrs. or Ms. but saying the first name he has not worries. Except someone noticing the difference.

Answer 4

I don't believe it is because he is black. I too have noticed this as well. I believe some men just don't see women as being in a position of power. This goes back to their upbringing. I really don't think this is done intentionally but rather that the fact is he probably feels more comfortable around women, and feels he can address them by their first name. Really someone should help the poor guy out and tell him discreetly.

Answer 5

From experience....it's a subconscious respect issue. The housekeeper is assuming (subconsciously, of course) the the men in your office are superior or in charge, so therefore he gives them more respect. I have had experience in this because I work in the medical field and notice that many female doctors are called by their first names but the male doctors are not, they are ALWAYS referred to (even in conversation) as "Dr. SoandSo" but the female doctors are not. That's my thoughts on it....and that subconsciously or not, it's disrespectful, but the housekeeping guy probably has no idea he's even doing it.

Answer 6

Sounds like the typical big-brother type of mentality concerning women. He probably act gentlemanly with females, like holding the door for them, etc. The guy probably doesn't even realize he does it. Most people who have this personality are harmless enough, they just know that women and men are different, and try to protect "the fairer sex". As long as this is the only quirk in his behavior regarding women, you can probably ignore it. In fact, if your office is in a not-so-savory location, this would probably be the guy you would want to walk you to your car; these types of guys will fight to their last breath to keep a woman safe.

Answer 7

I think his mind is just in a sexist time warp. If he's otherwise a nice guy, it's not worth making a fuss about in my opinion. Maybe because janitorial is considered a low status job (but it shouldn't be, imagine if the toilets never got cleaned!) it helps him to feel more like a manly man to address the women with that subtle slight. It's not as if your boss were doing it, that would be a problem.

Answer 8

Maybe it just that he likes the women better. Or maybe even though he is polite to the women he does not think they deserve as much respect as a man so he does not call them by Mrs, Ms, Or Miss. But just by their name. Could this be the reason?

Answer 9

he is probably unaware of it. This happens a lot in society, women are downgrarded, it is often unconscious. This also happens when a female is a Doctor they still call her Mrs. but if the doctor is a man he is called Dr. You should point it out to him but in a nice way.

Answer 10

I don't think this is something to race or to the color of the skin, I think the housekeeper have more trust with women than with men. Women usually are more respectful and easy to deal with.