im shy. i dont want to be what do i do?

Question

hmm k well im just like really shy and i dont want to be im just shy around like new people and guys and i want a boyfriend but im too shy to be flirty or w/e so like i was thinking i could just get like dr*** around them but then i can't be dr*** my whole life soo urgg its not that im ugly or anything i think im pretty but im asian but im popular just not like WOW popular but yea how do i not get shy and be more flirtacious? im really happy with my life its just that i want a boyfriend yes i know this is realy pathetic but i've never had a real boyfriend or my first kiss but yeaa any tips? & this is a 13 year old girl talking.

Answer 1

Please don't think drinking will solve your problems. Substances won't do anything except turn your good judgement to bad. Not only will you get a guy, you'll probably end up sleeping with some stranger without protection.
You are still young. While you may hate hearing this, you will continue to develope both physically and mentally as you get older. At 16, you may not have trouble talking to guys anymore.
Don't try to be something you are not. If you are unsure about flirting, then don't try it. You'll come across as awkard and uncomfortable.
At 13, it's not the end of the world if you haven't had a boyfriend or your first real kiss. It may feel like it, but you're not the only one. There are plenty of people your age that don't date yet.
If you want to get used to talking and being around guys, start off in small groups. You and two friends with three guys. Go out to movies, the mall, watch some movies at someone's house, whatever you like to do. It's easier to open up when you in a comfortable surroundings and with people you know. If you don't have the courage to ask a guy yourself, don't get a friend to do it. Call him up, or write him a note to get the conversation going. Most guys get uncomfortable when a group of girls approach him, or when you get a friend to do the "my friend likes you, do you like her" thing. He'll probably be impressed that you had the courage to ask.
Your parents and the other parents would probably be more willing to let you hang out with more than one couple at that age anyway.

Answer 2

Advise No 1
Stop complaining - you are turning yourself into an angry girl, and it's very un-sexy.

Advise No 2
If you think that the flirt is the bet way to get guys - I understand why you have problems. Flirt works is a damn hard work and it usually works only the short time.

Advise No 3
Now - the best kept secret about getting guys - forget flirt, for some time at least. The best way is to relax and talk honest. I bet it sound stupid and simple (you've hear it many times, didn't you? guess what - its because it's a good advise) Who cares - say whatever is in your head.

Advise No 4
From my experience - you better love doing some boyish things (I DODN'T MEAN SEX!) Do you like any sport? You better get damn good at it!!! I was shy, but likely I always loved sports were you wouldn't normally find many girls - bikes, karate, whitewater, parachutes, rock-climbing, horse jumping, surfing, weight training (no, I don't have big mussels, people think I did ballet or something)...

You know - that what the world best guys are going. And there's not many girls around them. The worse is to go over the beginning - you suck and everyone hates you and laughing at you. Few months later you get better at sport - you are their best mate and a super hero, you have everyone's attention and respect, and they all want to date you.

Trust me on this - that's how I get all of my boyfriends and I always had the best boyfriends!!! Just think what sport appears to you - join training group, a club, etc. And concentrate on becoming good at it - the rest is easy

Good luck

Answer 3

My little sister is 13 and I know you are at a time in your life where you are looking for acceptance. In order to be confident, you have to love yourself for who you are and not what others think about you. You claim you are good looking so obviously you like the way you look. Being popular, I know you have to do and act the way others find as "cool," if you don't express yourself the way you want to, it isn't easy to be confident. It is like you are walking in someone else's shoes! Surrounding yourself with positive and outgoing people will help you manage your shyness. Getting drunk is not the solution. Although being intoxicated makes opening up a lot easier, it isn't smart for you (a minor) to even be drinking at your age. If you are to get caught your future could be tainted from it! You have so much time ahead of you to find guys and to experience sexual experiences! Take your time!

Another thing to ponder... you have nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain when you approach a guy.

Answer 4

It's understandable to be a little shy when your answers are scoffed at by those who are probably too old to remember what it's like to be young. But, trust, you are still young, and there is plenty of time to get to those first's. Not everyone kisses someone by age 13. I was 16. Don't let the peer pressure get to you. My sister did, and got carried away. She has three kids and just finished high school. My recomendation is to make you a friend at church or something. Someone who won't try to push you, but will introduce you to people they know. Please don't turn into one of those giggly flirts. Guys tend to like and respect girls more that are able to be themselves. I should know, I'm a guy.

Answer 5

Lol I am 14 and I havent had a real first kiss. Many girlfriends though...
Anyways, it would probably help if you just loosened up. Just be casual in the way you approach and talk to people. You could try it in like clubs and stuff, to get you loosened up, or with friends to see what they think. I mean I used to be shy as well, but I learned that you really shoudlnt be. Just be yourself, and just talk to people. Don't try too hard though, or you might come out as hyper, but then again, it shoudlnt matter what people think. If you like some guy, just talk to him if he talks to you, and just start with like casual conversations. You dont have to ask him out first time. Sort of develop a friendship like I do, first, then when you are comfortable with him, ask him out or something.

Answer 6

You're only 13, not to sound like your mother or anything but I was the same way at your age...just be friendly towards people. Start saying 'hi, how are you?' to your aquaintances and get to know ppl. That doesnt mean you have to be wild and crazy to get noticed either, decent guys like sweet girls like yourself so don't try to be something you are not.

Answer 7

now we are on the same page that is something I want to know I'm 13 and shy and never had a kiss and stuff so I'm gonna sit here until someone can say something that helps!
I hope someone can help.

Answer 8

confidence girl it is all about confidence. and just act like they are people that you have known all you life. like talk about something that interests you. and to be flirtatious hmmm...... just fool around have fun (by fool around i dont mean u know like s e x) i say all the hitting playfully is kinda lame so just tease but in a nice way. good luck girl!

Answer 9

well first, stop rambling and using "like" every other word. just be yourself, that is the only way to make true friends or meet a guy that you will actually want to spend your time with. give it time, you will come out of your shell.

Answer 10

#1 you shouldn't be drinking
#2 you're just 13, worry bout school
#3 why don't you meet guys with a bunch of friends by your side so you're not alone