he has a son with the girlfriend he had before me. we had been on and off for 4 years and when we got back together the last time, his ex was pregnant and he did not tell me. after a month of being back together, i too got pregnant. he was 20 years old at the time and made a stupid mistake. not only did he not tell me about his ex, he signed over his parental rights. now that i know the truth, i have chosen to support him in this. the woman does'nt want my husband to be in her sons life, and i dont blame her. i dont know if i can live life knowing that he has a son we cant have a relationship with. i dont know what to do. am i being too nice by not giving him any s@#%? please help!!
2006-08-15 09:51:12 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you can't forgive and not ever bring it up again you need to move on
your life will get much better without this drama popping up everyday for the rest of your life
2006-08-15 09:57:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was wrong in not confiding to you about an ex being pregnant. When he signed all parental rights away, that was his decision to make but still he should have said something to you about it. As far as the ex not wanting your husband in the child's life I think (unless he is unfit as a role model for the child) she has robbed her son of his true heritage. Your husband is/was/and always will be that little boys biological father and somewhere down the road he might come asking why he was denied his natural parent.
As for you standing by him now, by all means if you love him. Don't let past mistakes ruin your future, learn by them.
2006-08-15 10:10:29 · answer #2 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course this is your decision that you will have to live with, and since you also have a baby with this man its going to be hard. I know that I would be upset for the fact of not knowing and not being told. That is in the past though and you either need to forgive and forget or not forget and find someone else. Its going to be a hard decision! Maybe you can get to know the child without the child knowing your connection (when he is older he should be made aware of it-or you will be lying just like your man did to you). I think it would be horrible for a child not to know both his parents-just because he doesn't have parental rights doesn't mean he cant have friendship rights-unless there are other reasons that he is not in the child's life.
2006-08-15 10:03:36 · answer #3 · answered by haleydwh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, first .. he should have told you.. but maybe it's a sore subject for him.. any father is proud to have a son... so maybe that's why he didn't tell you... especially if he signed his rights over and the mother doesn't want him in her son's life...
the best thing for you to do now.. is tell him you are there for him (if that's what you want).. and enjoy your family.. don't worry about the others... life is too short...
maybe counselling could be good too.. I'm sure he's got a lot kept inside...
good luck
2006-08-15 10:00:10 · answer #4 · answered by Lyne B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fudged up situation but he signed over his rights so obvisously he didnt want to be in the childs life. the child isnt in your life, think of it as a child that was put up for adoption or something.not giving him s--- as a way of punishment or something?
You either need to forget about this other child & continue your life with him..& trully support him or just leave him alone.
2006-08-15 10:28:20 · answer #5 · answered by REAL24/7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have seen this happen alot in relationships, just consentrate on your life with him and your child, that's all that matters right now, you cant be stressed out its not good for the baby. just make him agree that he would forget about her, there is nothing he can do at this point with his child with the other woman. just talk about it and come to some kind of agreement. best of luck
2006-08-15 10:19:47 · answer #6 · answered by MJS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He gave up parental rights so he can freely be with you, You are not content with that... what else do you want?
No matter how much you nag you cannot nag off a court order. You have to learn to live with it or make both of your lives a living hell.
Good luck
2006-08-15 10:01:46 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you wanna give him s@#%? His son should be an issue that he takes the lead on. The only part of your lives that you must share is the REST of your life. Don't take it personally.
2006-08-15 10:04:39 · answer #8 · answered by jax0817 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think ur doing a good thing! its all in the past now and u cant fix it, he shud have told u about it before now but atleast u know and can move on with life! just focus on whats good in ur life and im sure u will have ur own babies some day and can focus on that to get u through it.....im glad u decided to stick with him, your a strong woman!
2006-08-15 10:02:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
**** happens. This happend before you and should not even concern you. That would be like him asking who you slept with before you guys were together and then being mad about it. He was young. It was stupid but you are the lucky one because you are with him. If you keep this up you will only make yourself the looser.
2006-08-15 09:59:54 · answer #10 · answered by Karrien Sim Peters 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋