What would i say to a girl who's suffering from low self esteem?

Answer 1

The answer to that, or more importantly how you go about this, depends of several factors...

For instance:
Are you a (girl) friend trying to cheer a quiet girl in class?
Is it your child that needs bucking up?
What's the age gap?
Trying to help others is the right thing to do, but why do 'you' care?
How long have you known the girl?
Do you know what's upsetting her? (as opposed to thinking to you know..)

People are such complex creatures and quite often saying the wrong thing (however well meant) can sometimes drive them over the edge because "you just don't get it..."

Generally speaking people don't have 'low self-esteem' because they have acne, or can't do something well, or anything else you care to list... They get it because some thoughtless, cruel, spiteful person(s) has said or done something to make them feel so low.

Taking the acne as an example, there's no doubt a teenager with it will be self conscious of it, but it only becomes an issue when some bully labels him/her 'Pizzaface' and the cronies join in, making it an issue.

Naturally assuming you are helping her for the right reasons, just be there for her, don't push the issue. A smile and a joke at the right time, a shoulder to cry on if she gets teary, and saying the right things to cheers her up are the way to go. In all likelihood it will be that just one or two pathetic individuals have said or done something nasty, your friend just has to come to realise that it is them with the issue and not her.

It's a half full / half empty thing.

I'm assuming of course that the issue is more shorter term emotional, rather than dealing with a medical/physical disability that simply isn't going to go away, in which case...

My mum says: "There but for the grace of God go I"
I'm not a great believer in 'God' or religion myself so I prefer to look at it like this:
"No matter how low you feel, how much it hurts, there's always, always some poor sod far worse of than you"

As a point, have you ever noticed that many people who are disabled try to have a smile and a bright outlook, while those with looks and good health are always whining about how hard done they are. Stop the world, I don't have Nike trainers like my mate!
Pttt!

Addenda:
Don't mix low self esteem with depression. One certainly leads to the other, but they are not the same beastie!

Answer 2

Many people suffer from low self esteem,even the so called beautiful people have to compete and many think they are not good enough,young enough,thin enough etc etc.
Many people who seem very extrovert suffer from self esteem issues and put on a facade to hide this.
All you can do is try and explain situations like this to this girl,tell her that looks fade no matter what,beauty really does come from within.
We all feel low at times but sometimes we don't even need someone to say anything to help,just knowing that someone who cares is there if you need them is all it takes.
I hope you can help this girl.
Good luck to you both !

Answer 3

Depends how close you are to her and why she's low. The best thing to do is usually to just be as normal as you can. Talking about usual stuff helps to take people's minds of things which are causing low self esteem. But you couls still let her know she can confide in you and tell you why she feels as she does. If she thinks she is unattractive, you should remind her that she's not.

Answer 4

You could say positive things to her like: "your an over comer" " your a winner" "your going to do well" "I know you can make it" "your the best" "I knew you could do it" "good for you" "your going to go far in life,just you wait and see" "you have such potential"

These are the things you could use depending on the situation and circumstances that have caused this person to have low-self esteem.

Answer 5

first you have to talk to her and find out way shes got a low self esteem and try and address the problem carefully by reassuring her that what shes thinking is wrong and that no ones perfect, also try cheering her up with things she likes and remind her abour her good qualities

Answer 6

look apon her good features, pretty, clever, sexy, whatever you think she has going for her. hopefuly if she is not a complete mess you should be able to find something positive. does she help you in a crisis, is she supportive, look for what ever makes her you friend and triple it to the highhest level.......if she is lacking self estemm because of a man...just tell them are shits,,,,because they are,,,if a man read this they would agree. i hate this because i never get a back log story.....just have to guess, it could be her parents are total shits and have done nothing to make her feel like a worthwhile person, if that is the case she needs to build on her good points ignore her parents if they could not reflect on the good thing then she needs to identify them for herself. we can all be happy individuals we if we can seek the person we know we should be,,,,,,decision is yours,..,.,,,,,,,,

Answer 7

First of all ~ tell her she's beautiful. The most important thing is making her believe it though...here's an idea..

When I first got out of an abusive marriage..I got myself a pretty little journal and everyday I wrote at least one thing I liked about myself...some days it was hard to come up with one little thing, but as time went on, it got easier. You buy her this journal & you start it out by writing something about her on the front cover...

Corny, but it IS a good idea - trust me.

Answer 8

low self esteem is not easy to manage, she needs a professional person to help her... a counselor is a good choice.. give her your support and tell her how much you appreciate her, how important she is, and that she is beautiful. girls like to hear sweet words.. i wish you the best luck....

Answer 9

You're a beautiful, intelligent girl and to keep your head up. Things will get worse before they get better. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. Take whatever your shortcomings are, and embrace them. Know that you are special and unique.

Answer 10

You can't say very much. Just be yourself around her, be friends with her, she'll feel better about that. She has to raise her self-esteem herself.