Ok, here is the situation. My and my fiance have been living together for 14 years and we have a 6 year old daughter together. My fiances mother does not like me to come to her house. This weekend me and my fiance are off from work. He is planning on going to his mothers for the weekend without me. He is just taking our daughter. I feel really bad because I feel that we are a family. If I am not accepted at her house then none of us should be going. I have never done anything wrong to his mother. What should I do now?
2006-08-15 09:18:16 · 16 answers · asked by FRECKLES 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think that there is a reason she don't like you. And maybe your fiance knows. Anyhow, I agree that if he goes for the weekend he should consider your feelings. Why leave you all alone? So if he goes then you should go. The mother needs to understand that you all are a family. If this happens once, she will keep inviting only him and the child. And you will continue to be home alone. Tell your fiance that it's not acceptable and she needs to accept you already.
2006-08-15 09:33:41 · answer #1 · answered by Susa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Together for 14 years with a 6 years old daughter...the reason why you guys are still only engaged is obvious...your fiance can't do without his mother's approval. You should do something about that
2006-08-15 16:30:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get married as soon as possible (if you would marry him anyway), so that she can't keep looking at you as some "ho who put a baby on my son". After the wedding, don't EVER let yourself be counted out of her house. And don't punish your husband and daughter by expecting them to stay home with you, this is a whiny little ***** move and will only make your mother-in-law think even less about you. Let her know that she doesn't have to like you, but you ARE part of the family, and you will not be left out because she's feeling like she can control you.
2006-08-15 16:32:06 · answer #3 · answered by EmpressGrey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your man should not be accomodating his mother's hang ups by excluding you like this. That's not the way a partnership works unless you explicitly agree to it. If grandma wants access to her grandchild she should be doing it on your terms. She is your child after all. In the meantime, I think an open and frank discussion of just what Granny's problem is is long overdue. Fourteen years with no acceptance is ridiculous and she is wrong to do so in regards to your marital status. It is your life. The only thing she has a right to is her opinion which she should express and then move on.
2006-08-15 16:35:04 · answer #4 · answered by Johnny Canuck 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the question is, why doesn't she like you? Is it because you've been with her son for 14 years and have not married but have brought a child into the world together? Have you and her been at odds about something? Is she holding a grudge? One cannot answer the question without knowing all of the facts.
2006-08-15 16:26:42 · answer #5 · answered by Princess of the Realm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it is easy for others to tell you to get a back bone, cause I have a similar situation. I would tell him you don't want to keep him from his mother, but a weekend trip away from you with your child is just not right. He needs to tell his mother that he is not coming with out you and if she can't accept that, then it is her loss of seeing her son and grandchild, the stupid women, what exactly is her problem, if you haven't done anything to her???
2006-08-15 16:51:58 · answer #6 · answered by passionannie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk with his mother either in person or by phone. If she will not talk to you you need to write a letter and explain your feelings about this. If the reason she won't accept you is the fact you are not married, I'd get a clue and get married.
2006-08-15 16:26:51 · answer #7 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry. Let them go. You will have more than enough chances to spend time with them. Don't give his mother the satisfaction to know that it bothers you. Remember, kill them with kindness.
2006-08-15 16:24:51 · answer #8 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MAKE HIM DO ALL OF THE TALKING....IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO STAND UP TO HIS MOTHER ABOUT THE SITUATION, THEN HE IS JUST A MOMMA'S BOY AND NEEDS TO GROW UP. YOU HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR TOO LONG FOR HER NOT TO LIKE YOU. ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER WITH HIM. MAYBE SHE IS JUST IMMATURE AND NEEDS TO GROW UP HERSELF.
DON'T SWEAT IT THINGS WILL COME AROUND.
2006-08-15 16:32:56 · answer #9 · answered by jennifer_spanky2002 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its his mom.. nothign u can do to change that but why doesnt she like you?? have u asked?? you cant tell him he cant go see his mother but u need to explain that its not right how u cant come along...ur all adults... and she will soon be ur mother in law
2006-08-15 16:32:06 · answer #10 · answered by aeroberts7 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋