How do you forgive and trust a husband that has cheated on you with a female coworker that he sees everyday?

Question

They are both "leaders" in the community (school principals). Do people have the right to know what the people that are leading their children are doing? Should I just be quiet?

Answer 1

do they have kids? if so, consider them too.

Answer 2

You should tell people.With morals like that,I don't think they deserve to be portraying that hypocracy to the students.And I have cheated before and I can assure you that if they are still around each other,they will still have the urge to be with each other.She and your husband both know he is married.They both know that they are having sex behind your back.And they don't think you will say anything.They know you will trust your husband not to do it again.But the hard truth is that it is still going on.You're allowing it.

On the other hand,if one or the other leaves their current job and removes themselves from the situation then chances are that with the proper therapy and communication,this will probably not happen again.The term "once a cheater,always a cheater" is not always true.Because sometimes there are underlying reasons of why these things take place.

Answer 3

I don't know how you could ever trust him again. Yes, the parents have a right to know what kind of people are in charge of their children for 6 or more hours per day. I'd tell everyone, get a good lawyer & take everything! Then move to a new town & start over where you won't have to hear the whispering behind your back.

Answer 4

Lady, don't worry so much about that right now. You sound almost as crazy as I was when my first marriage was ending. Congratulations for not killing him, I'll bet it was close. As for letting people know, I advise against it. But, honestly, I'm not sure I wouldn't have done it, in your place. But, you shouldn't, not for his sake, or his girlfriend's, but for the families of the cheats. Even adult children are affected by cheating. No good comes from letting the affair be a town scandal. Tempting, but bad. I haven't dealt with the cheating, because I'm guessing that the marriage isn't going to make it.

Answer 5

I would focus more on your marriage and would not spread it around town. You don't need to have your family be the talk of the town.

Personally, I don't think I would ever be able to forgive my husband or trust him again after cheating on me, I think my marriage would be over right then and there. But I have heard of couples being able to get passed infidelity. I would suggest marriage counseling, and would definitely push him to transfer to a different school.

Good luck!!

Answer 6

You don't. The desire will still be there, it's all a matter of if they act on it and they did before...what will stop them now? If you 'tell' on them this makes you look immature and will only get you pity - plz don't stoop to that level. Rise above it, gather some self esteem and lay down the law. Someone needs a new job or face a divorce!

Answer 7

I dont think the issue is forgiveness. I think it is trust. If he didnt work with her, you would forgive and forget. But since he sees her everyday, you wonder if he will do it again. Well let me tell you that he probably will. Even if not with her, he will. I say find a good divorce lawyer.

Answer 8

This is hard. In my honest opinion, I don't know how you can possibly trust him again, knowing that this "other woman" will be in close proximity with him day in, day out. Is your husband willing to change his job location? Now the issue about "should people know", well, it depends on your motivations for doing it. But once it's out there in the open are you willing to deal with the scandal it might cause? If your husband is not willing to change his job location, maybe you should start thinking about yourself.

Answer 9

You probably wont ever forgive and forget, so it's basically up to you what you want to do with the relationship. I would suggest you do not tell the community since it would probably only hurt you if you decide to get a divorce.

Answer 10

it variety of feels like his coworker is likewise inviting you in on the friendship it incredibly is mostly a competent sign, except she is a conniving devil which I doubt. i think of shop the door open to this coworker as though she is a chum to your husband she is likewise extending the hand of friendship to you which ones is the superb component to do. the guideline must be frequently that they do no longer spend time on my own without you, in all fairness of direction. yet I propose its good judgment that they cant circulate out for dinner or ten pin bowling for e.g. Friendships are complicated for husbands and better halves all around, as one not at all knows of for confident how close the chums are. in spite of the incontrovertible fact that it variety of feels he's likewise been enormously open approximately it too. circulate including your intestine sense finally and once you're nevertheless unhappy approximately it tell him. possibly ask him to contemplate how he might sense if the shoe grow to be on the different foot. yet all in all, you cant rigidity human beings to be a undeniable way and it variety of feels like they are being open and straightforward this far. xoxo

Answer 11

this is personal-my ol man was sharing emails with a teacher at out college-been with him 4 years ans have a baby-i found the emails, forwarded them to the dept. head, and let what happen happen. i have not forgiven or forget-for that only leads to reliving and regret. but the most imprtant thing to learn here is -he mesed up. not u. learn from this and pay close attention. never let your guard down and start building that wall. so when he does it again, and most will, you will be stronger than even you thought you could be! trust me in this as well-become your own person. NOW! take charge and let him and everyone else know that you are not one to be burned. as for her- and him- losers who deserve eachother. whatever you do-you must live with it. that is up to you. but everyday you look in that mirror and see your reflection, think "can i live with this choice?"its up to you to make your life your own. you are entitled to it!