Why do men stopping loving their wives when she gains weight?

Question

I have been marriedwith 6 yrs.Me and my husband have had our marital issues.But we never stopped loving each other.I have gained 30 lbs since we have gotten married.And thats after 4 children.And my husband still thinks I am beautiful and he still craves me like he did the first time we kissed.But now I am seeing all these men who cheat and fall out of love with their wives when they gain weight.It's suppose to be for better or for worse.ANd most of the time it is because of bearing children.What the hell is wrong with men?Do you think you look any better?Most of the men i have seen with these issues aren't exactly hot themselves.I am very surprised that they even got the hot women to begin with.Especially with the personalities they exhibit.

Answer 1

Men who act this way are superficial jerks. I think it's interesting that when they survey women, they will say they are "overweight" when they are even five pounds UNDER their normal weight. Men don't admit to being overweight until they are at least 50 pounds too heavy. Gives you an idea of how men and women think of themselves and each other.
Yes, we should all try to stay fit and eat right and exercise. No, you don't get to treat your spouse badly if they have a weight problem. Stupidest thing I have ever seen is a guy with a HUGE beer belly getting out of his truck which has a bumpersticker reading "NO FAT CHICKS". As if ANY chicks would look at this loser, once they saw that bumpersticker and that belly.

Answer 2

You say your guy still loves you? that's great. My wife has been up and down the scales since we got married...and I still love her more then my next breath. I'm still the same weight I was in high school(I'm 43 now), but it sure looks a hell of a lot different then it did then, and my wife still loves me.

So you and i are happy.. our spouses are happy, but you hear and see people that are not happy. I suspect that there may be other issues in their relationship other then weight. The weight may just be a symptom of the over all problem. Get my drift? Yep, it's easy to blame the extra pounds as to why they split, but is it the real reason? Hard to tell. I think the real answer we will never know. don't blame the weight though, if the folks you are talking about really loved each other, there wouldn't be any issues. The real answers are much harder to recognize and face up to...so it ends up about the weight. Make sense?

Answer 3

While you make a valid point, there are always two sides of every story. Not saying that I condone cheating, but you never know the full story. Some woman with that added weight developer very low self esteems, no longer feel sexy that can cause issues in the bedroom. The street is also a two way one, this does happen vise versa as well, just not as often. The bottom line like you said is, for better or for worse, until death do us part. No one understands those words today!

Answer 4

Men are extremely physical beings, they don't always see things in different hues. A man is hit day in and day out with the media's sexual looks for women. (us woman must compete against every women on TV, model, young, and beautiful woman out there, no matter how we look). Men are told that "they do not have to PUT up with what they don't deem right in the eyes of the world today, and if it is fat then it is fat." They "can get whom ever they want whenever they want and to hell with the relationship". Its the same for an aging wife, only twice as bad.

The for better or worse is only on one side. Sad but true, and very frightening for any woman these days, and I guess all days. May I make a suggestion though you look young and sound extremely intelligent....please for your own sake, and the marriage go lose the weight now, its easier and it can be fun with a family your size. Get hubby to help you....

Answer 5

I don't think it is all about the weight gain, they just use that as an excuse and an example of something they can show has changed over time. I think it is more about the loss of freedom and the increase in responsibility that they can't deal with. Life isn't easy even when your married without kids, but it gets even harder and more complicated with kids. I think a lot of these guys just weren't ever taught how to stand up and be men and deal with all that come from wanting to have a family. They grew up with everything handed to them and now they don't know how and aren't willing to be the one who sacrifices and does the giving.

Answer 6

Men use their wives gaining weight as an excuse for something they would do anyway. Men are cheaters if given an opportunity. A man that has truly gotten to know and love his wife would help her in a positive way if she gained an unhealthy amount of weight. To many people say "I do" when they don't know each other which leads to exuses and the breakdown of the marriage.

Answer 7

My husband and I both gained weight when I was pregnant with our first child. But we both did hardcore working out afterward and lost the weight. Now, we can't keep our hands off eachother.

I think everyone should take pride in their appearance. Love is internal, but it would be naive to think that physical attraction does not play a big role.

I don't think these men necessarily stop loving their women. They might, however, not find the woman as sexually attractive.

Answer 8

I never stopped loving my wife when she gained 100 lbs. I trimmed down myself by 20 lbs to a nice thin weight and it gave her the incentive to lose all that weight. It took a year and she did lose all 100lbs! I loved her the saem then as I do now. Nothing changed. Her personality, charm, character never changed. We just want to look like eye candy for each other!!! And if she never lost the weight? So be it because she is still a perfect spouse!

Answer 9

I know its very shallow. but when you saw your husband for the first time was it his personality that attracted you to him. Its easy to say you should love know matter what. To go through life without truly loving someone and having them you love you back just the same....Well you haven't lived at all. How could you expect anyone to for go there life and stay with someone that spends there life trying to lose weight and watch them suffer this vicious chain over and over.

Childern are a different issue and I cannot comment.You can stop being a husband but never a father

Answer 10

I think your question is an extremely good one. I believe that the answer is that they never really, truly loved their wives to begin with. Love should not come with strings attached or it is not love. Would a man love his children any less if they gained weight? Of course not, because that love does not come with strings. This is why I always advise women to NOT have pre-marital sex with a guy. Because if you ever get married how do you know he loves you for who you are? You don't. He's probably in lust with you, not love. And after you bare a few children for him, you will see how deep his love really ran.