Divorced people with kids left behind how does it feel not to be able to see your kid or kids everyday?

Question

I'm in a situation where I lost the love in my marriage. I'm ready to move on with my life. I don't think I can move on without my first born child. My daughter, she loves her Daddy so much. Love wise I'm with my wife who I don't want to really be with anymore. My wife lives in another country and she has the kids. I'd have to visit my child and I would only be able to see her like once a year. This is one of the toughest decisions of my life. I don't really want to lose out on my daughter's life and watching her grow and I know it would hurt her that I'm not around as much anymore. She's 3 going on 4 years old. Our love is gone and it's hard to try to force love back into a marriage when it's not there anyway. She loves me, but I can't say that I honestly love her anymore. Sad to say, yes, but it's true. What would you do in my situation? I'm going to pray to God that he gives me an answer. Right now, they are living in another country. I know my wife she won't change her bad ways.

Lily you don't know what I've been through to be bashing me like this and trying to categorize me with all the other guys. No my wife doesn't treat me right and was verbally abuse to me. Sad alot of hateful things to me. If you would known some of the things she said to me then you can judge. If not, don't jump to conclusions about me. You know nothing about me to place me as the bad guy. I don't know any man who'll stay with a verbally abusive woman do you? That's not love at all.

Answer 1

I have been and still in the same postition that you are in. My oldest daughter who is 18 years old, just moved back in with me and my husband, not the daughters real father. My two other daughters live with their father and step-mother. I lived for 2 years without my kids being in my life because of what the father and step-mother had told the kids. It is not easy being in your situation. My best advice is to get a lawyer and get more parental visits even if your child lives in another area. Tell your lawyer you want more vistiation rights and get in down on paper before a judge about when, where and long you can have her. You should also never talk bad about her mother in front of your daughter. It will only hurt her in the long run. Always pray to God the father, to help you in your situations. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 2

Honey, this is already tearing your heart out and it hasn't even happened yet. If you want my honest opinion, I'd stick it out a few more years until your daughter fully understands who her daddy is. Kids at that age forget easily in the time of absence. They'll know who you are, but that bond is going to be missing. They are just too young to understand and comprehend why daddy left. I'd also work out an arrangement to see your daughter more. Take her for the entire summer, school breaks lasting longer than a week, etc. And phone calls everyday! Not every other, not once a week...everyday. Just to hear her voice and for her to hear yours is going to keep that bond alive. You can also get her a computer with a web cam, as well as you and you can see each other too while you talk to each other. I admire you for actually asking this question. Not many men do...they just leave. Your love for that little girl is apparent and she's lucky to have it. Just work on keeping it there.

Answer 3

Seems to me like you are an egotistical man that only thinks of himself. I don't love my wife anymore (bet you are bopping someone new) I don't want to have to miss my daughter growing up (new flash for you, skip out of her life now and she won't even know you for other than that man who shows up once a year, under the age of 4 we retain few childhood memories) Do you really things are going to get better in your life by dumping the old bag and starting anew (except for that one visit a year you will make) May I suggest you think about your wedding day .. you were in love... if you dump the new squeeze and devote half as much effort to the wife your marriage would work. And oh yeah, how do you expect a marriage to work when you are not even living together? Seems to me you are the one who needs to change your ways, not your wife.

Answer 4

It hurts me not to see my kids everyday. Kids grow up fast and I'm afraid that I'm missing the best innocent years of their life. They are local and do sneak in to visit when its not my day. The troll has them just use me as a cash cow. They are better off with me. The kids are always asking me for food and clothes, yet the troll receives over $1,000/month. I got screwed by my lawyer, but you need to see your lawyer to protect yourself so you can see your kids grow up. You are missing their best years! 10 years from now its boys and going out and phone calls. 15 years she will be on her own as an adult. You need to fight your ex for your right. I know it takes money to fight trolls.

Answer 5

So sad to hear you feel this way. I must say that it is very diffucult when the kids are young. As they get older the pain of them being away eases with age.

Answer 6

Good luck and God Bless. My ex wouldn't visit our daughter when he lived 7 blocks away. I would go nuts if I could see her... I don't understand.

Answer 7

if she is in another country, it shouldnt be that much different my friend, especially if she has the kids with her in another country right now, i may be misunderstanding but i do feel for you, kids make a person do strange things

Answer 8

if you can move to that country.. why don't you ? that doesn't mean you have to stay with your wife.. but at least you'll be close to your daughter.