Under what conditons should a person forgive a partner for having an affair?

Answer 1

As someone who has cheated in a relationship, it's not acceptable behaviour. I had low self esteem, and even though I was in a loving relationship, having this hot person proclaim their love for me and a truckload of tequila made it cocktail for cheating. This person to make matters worse was the best friend...I know you're thinking, OMG what a *****!! And yeah, you're right. I did it without thinking;it just made me feel so good that this person liked me. I totally regretted it afterwards, and I'll never ever do it again. In a way I'm kinda glad I did cheat once, cause now I know how easy and so simple it is to do - I will never ever cheat again. When my ex broke up with me (nothing to do with the cheating) the friend was so paranoid that I was going to say something, just to get back at my ex. I was so hurt by the break-up but inside me I felt like I had brought it on myself, for having cheated. I really feel that the person who cheated needs to feel that it isn't a given that you are going to take it back. The best thing is time, time for you to see if you can deal with it or not. But I have to say, I know what they say 'Once a cheater, always a cheater', for me it's not the case, but I can't say that about most guys...

Answer 2

I could forgive cheating, but never an affair. Cheating to me is a one time thing - drinking too much and messing around/sleeping with someone else, a night out with friends and kissing some random girl, etc. An affair is a whole different story - you have had this on-going romance with the same person while involved with someone else. You have deliberately lied to get to spend time with this other person. You have most likely developed some kind of "feelings" for this other person. To me, that is unforgivable.

Answer 3

This is of course fantasy. You can say that you will forgive him but in the end you never really do. When men forgive that's that. But when it's an ethics, values and integrity issue (i.e. cheating) then even if he says "I forgive you" in his mind she will be forever branded with the scarlet letters FWB (fuching whore biatch). Why becasue she let some other guy into his "most sacred space". Now it's ruined for all time.

For the woman it's different. "Women will forgive....but they will never ever forget". Never ever forget that!!!!

Cheating will make a marriage/relationship DOA (dead on arrival) for 90% of the people. Even if you did forgive a partner it will eat at you forever. It's not worth the effort. You must start new with someone else.

CHeck out the following website. It can answer your questions better than I can. It will also giv you a "bird's eye" view of a guy's psyche.

http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/

Good luck

Answer 4

Almost all conditions... think about it, what motivated them to have an affair? If it was something out of your control, then they probably don't need your forgiveness; they're beyond needing anything that you can give them. And if on the other hand, it was something under your control, then its your own doing that they had the affair and you should be glad that they forgive you.

People are driven to affairs by their partners... they add the extra burden to their lives just for the heck of it. Pay attention to the needs of your partner, or someone else will.

Answer 5

The only conditions acceptable are for the people concerned. Some people can forgive anything, some people find it unacceptable. It really is down to the two people concerned and only them! Talking and possibly therapy can help both parties work out why an affair has happened. Its a tough road but follow your heart, and Good Luck x

Answer 6

My husband had an affair a couple years ago. I never caught them together but I found cutsie notes that she had written him. When I asked him about it he told me one lie after another and to this day he lies about it. He keeps saying they never had sex and she just needed a friend but I never called my male friends hot stuff and sugar lips. I never talked about being "between the sheets" with them either. I heard bits and pieces from other people so I know for a fact it happened. I told him over and over, I can forgive the truth but not the lies. It's been 2 years and I can't get through it. If he had just been honest with me I would have forgiven him and learned to trust him again. I love this man still but his lies have destroyed everything we had.
My point here is if he or she is honest and shows sincere remorse, I believe they can be forgiven. Everyone deserves a second chance.

Answer 7

Me and my husband were having issues stemming from him ignoring me and never wanting me sexually and making me feel ugly.I would cry at night because it hurt so bad to be turned down by the person i loved more than anything in the world.and after 3 yrs i couldn't take it anymore so i welcomed someone else into my life who made me feel what i wanted to feel.but i found that he couldn't give me everything i wanted.i wanted my husband.he wasn't my husband.i never hid anything from my husband.he knew from the get go that the intention was even there.so when we finally turned back towards each other it was a little bit of a long road.we both had to forgive each other.and realize why we were really in love.and i came to the conclusion that i love him because he is my best friend.and how great is that?to be married to your best friend?so now we are very sexually active with each other again and we just keep remembering to talk things out and never let any fight go unsettled.

Answer 8

If your wife/husband has an affair with someone, it will be very hard for you. To accept what they did, cause the trust, love, etc. has been broken by them. To think about a condition will be unfair to you an them.
Best thing to do if you want to stay is work it out. Ask what they did that, for there is a reason for ever action.

Answer 9

NEVER!

If you are looking for forgiveness, then talk to God.

Believe me, if you found your spouse/lover cheating once, s/he will do it again and laugh at you behind your back while s/he is doing it realizing that all s/he has to do is that one thing that will make you forgive them, and they'll keep doing it time and time and time again until you finally decide that you aren't going to accept it anymore, but by then, they have moved on to the new lover, and you are so hurt and angry that you may never fully recover from it.

Answer 10

forgive if u know u trully will and its not just words of oh i forgive u if u have found urself bringing it up /throwing it in the persons face " i took u back","you cheated i didnt'..etc etc...then dont continue bc obviously u didnt forgive..
forgive but never forget of course.
my motto,
trust people ..to do as they do
guess too depends on what happened,how u found out..if they confessed,the other person told u,someone told u... but dont let ur partner put the blame on u for the affair..ppl cheat bc they want to & can!
ask urself do i see myself being able to believe my partner?