i'm married and still have thought of a women when i have sex with my husban.i love the feelings of a women on me and still think about have sex with them.
i've been married for three years and i have kids
but i'm i a lesbian in my mind or for real and don't even know it.
i have been in denial for so meny years and told my self it was in my head.
so now what,i'm married and don't know what to do about it.
i need your help
2006-08-15 08:20:20 · 15 answers · asked by DENISE 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Honey, you're not "turning" lesbian. You've been gay all the time. You're married with children and you are not being true to yourself. Sit down with this man and tell him the truth, darling. There's no sense in living a lie and putting your kids through that. Embrace your sexuality and be real. Once again, let your hubby know how you feel, and don't allow anyone to "fix" you. Come to grips with yourself(sexuality included), and, eventually you and your kids will be fine.
2006-08-15 08:42:07 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're either bi or a lesbian. There are options besides monogamy (one-on-one relationships.) If you and your partner are ok with it, another person could be added. Either that or some men allow their girlfriend or wife to sleep with women as long as it's just casual sex. If you really are a lesbian in denial, it's time to break off the fake marriage and be true to yourself. You are what you are. It's more harmful to stay in a lie than to break off the fake marriage.
2006-08-15 15:31:31 · answer #2 · answered by carora13 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
From your question it sounds like you have had sex with women before and if you are fantasizing while with your husband you may be a lesbian if so you need to let your husband know he may be open to you having female lovers on the side. If not then you need to do what makes you happy.
2006-08-15 15:44:37 · answer #3 · answered by Cat D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this same exact thing was happening to me. i was always fantasizing about women when i was with my husband. i told him about it pretty early on, and he was pretty much indifferent. but eventually i kept mentioning it to him and i ended up expiramenting with another woman. i told him about that too. well, anyway, i wasnt getting turned on by him for a long time anyway, but after i was with the woman, i was really disgusted by him. not only because he was a man, but because he had done some other stuff too that pissed me off, so it didnt help. at this point we are not together, but i still have my kids. i consider myself bisexual, b/c i am still attracted to men, but i keep my sexulity to myself(meaning my kids dont know what i do). but i think you definitely have some deep thinking to do. you will probably have to try it out to see what you like, and then you and your hubby will have alot of talking to do. Good luck! Keep me posted on what you do cuz i think we're in the same boat, im just a little further down the road from you!
2006-08-15 16:01:41 · answer #4 · answered by Lovely L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, let me encourage you to NOT have an affair. If you are unhappy with your marriage then do the right thing and get divorced. You are a mom first and foremost and any kind of affair same sex or otherwise will play a big factor in whether you get custody of your kids or not. Your children's well being needs to come foremost!
2006-08-15 16:38:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have been running back and forth with this for a while now.. It looks as though your having intimacy issues with your husband. Its call couples therapy. You need to seriously address this asap. Do not go out and cheat on your husband, maybe you both just don't click. You need to see how he feels and you need to make this an open topic. Kissing someone only when they are drunk is not acceptable.. He needs to try harder than that. Maybe you have other issue your just not ready to look at. Regardless, you need to figure out why you are running from him, wishing you were someone else.
2006-08-15 16:37:00 · answer #6 · answered by mylife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not turning lesbian. If you feel you're gay then you are. Just because you married a man does not mean your were ever straight. You may want to seek some therapy with your coming out issues....there are a lot of women just like you.
2006-08-15 15:40:10 · answer #7 · answered by The Tiki God 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk with a counsellor first to get a handle on your feelings. Make sure this is how you feel and hopefully stengthen yourself. Then when the time is right you need to tell your husband. He deserves to know the truth the sooner the better.
2006-08-15 15:39:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
my biggest fear was being in a situation like yours and thats why i embraced my lesbianism...now you have some huge decisions to make...a marriage with kids cant be tossed to the side but a person should not have to live a miserable life because life is too short for that...you may wanna talk to your husband and see if he'd allow you to explore this more...if he's not the understanding type...well i dont condone cheating and i know marriage is sacred...im sorry:(
2006-08-15 15:26:41 · answer #9 · answered by tamika h 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's interesting how you never mentioned if you "Love" your husband. Are you sexually attracted to him? Do you enjoy sex with him?
If you have to envision women to attain sexual satisfaction while having sex with him, I'm thinking that maybe you're correct in questioning yourself.
Life is too short - everyone deserves to be happy. Do what makes you happy.
2006-08-15 15:34:23 · answer #10 · answered by emmie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋