why are the majority opinions when a couple has a problem the first answer to be given is get out.?

Question

the only reason i would say leave is, if there is abuse or adultery. other than that, work it out, find a way!!! ask the question, and i will ask it for those who are afraid to, my marriage is in a rut what would you suggest to spice it up, or relite the fire & we have very little funds? now theres the question.

Answer 1

Ok, First of all the first answer is not leaving....if you love this woman and she loves you there are so many things you can do to "relite" the fire.
First find a day or two where you can devote it to your spouse. If you have kids try to get them to stay with a friend or relative.
Now for the cost concience person there are many things, You can blind fold one another and feed each other sensual foods. Massages, take a bath together....
If you look in Cosmo and such there are many ideas for having romantic weekends on a low cost budget.
Good Luck!

Answer 2

You don't say how long you've been married and if there are children involved. Marriage and love change from the initial romance phase into commitments to be a support for each other throughout life. If you still feel a positive regard for each other then there is still hope, because the romance comes and goes in all relationships and is renewed by working together toward a common goal. Neither of you is responsible for the others happiness and you need to end a relationship when it is clear you can't work together anymore. Maybe some improvements to the nest (home) would spark a little fire. It always worked for me when I could get my husband interested in doing something that was for "us."

Answer 3

I agree with you, period! It is very easy for people to sit here, judge what is going on from very few words, and come up with an absolute "get out." How childish! There are usually ways to work out differences, even adultery. I try to explain possible motivations of the other half, possible solutions, and in the end, I usually ask, "are you better off with them or without them." I cannot possibly sit here in front of a computer and know what is going on, we only get one side of a story, and it may be just a silly story. To make immature, blanket statements, Leave, are detrimental, uninformed, and downright dangerous. I very often add, "Take NO ONE's advice here, consider what is said, and YOU make the decision...no one can make it for you." I especially am tired of the "I've been married for _years and am bored...what do I do? " This stuff is so immature, it doesn't deserve a decent answer. Everyone gets bored now and then, but when I see answers, "Leave them," I really want to gag. This kind of stuff is really a childish approach to a very real situation. Too many peole regard marriage as "going steady." Both those who are married, and those who are giving advice. Strange here at times.

Answer 4

I don't give the first option as to "get out" I usually think you can talk it over.
Your marriage is in a rut. You should try something new. If you have kids, get rid of them for a weekend- give them to the grand parents or friends to babysit. Go to a nearby vacation spot (head to the ocean, or a B&B in the mountains)- depending on your state. Go camping. Have sex in the woods.
There's lots of stuff you can do that isn't costly.
OR if your marriage is really important to you and you want this to be SPECIAL take out a small loan, $3000 can get you to the Carribeans for 10 days in a decent hotel, some even including food/drinks (all inclusive) there are alot of options.

Answer 5

I don't understand why people say get out when things get rocky cause I believe that anything worth having is worth fighting for, I know that if my marriage got shaky I would definitely find a way to work it out cause love isn't always easy.You don't have to have the cash to relight that fire, just make sure that whatever you do it is just the two of you. Sometimes a good heart to heart talk is all you need to get that spark back, beleive me I know, I have hit those spots in my marriage, but I beleive that if you love a person enough and they love you back then things will work themselves out if you put the effort in.

Answer 6

A lot of times I've found that people want it said outloud, not because they want to leave, but because they don't want to feel bad for thinking it themselves. I think you are right though. More people need to work out their problems rather than running away from them. There are times when you need to get out of a relationship like you stated: abuse or adultry. More to the point though, I think we live in a society of wanting things to be easy. When they're not easy we toss it and move on to something more exciting. Why work on something when you can pay a small fee and not have to deal with it anymore? The problem is that if you don't deal with problems now, they are going to pop up in the next relationship.

Answer 7

I wholeheartedly agree that being in a rut is no reason to split up, and kudos to you for being committed enough to work on it! I'd say a good start would be for both of you to put the other on a pedestal and do special, thoughtful little things for the other. In other words, act like you're dating instead of married!

Answer 8

Most people have never been in a real serious relationship therefore the only "good" advice they can give is to leave. Also other's who simply do not know how to act or treat any particular person throughout the course of a relationship can only say leave because it is all they know to do.

Answer 9

Spend quality time together.
Cook a romantic meal, run her a bath , jump in with her if you like.
break the routine you have both gotten into , turn the tv off at night and chat with each other.

Answer 10

i agree with you on the whole break up thing but as for you marriage spice up thing.... id say she might like a romantic dinner or something