I'm straight and post on the subject of homosexuality quite often. My sis is gay and most of my friends stem from her social circle, which is primarily gay (I'm only a year younger so most of her friends ended up being mine as well) so often I do answer questions concerning homosexuality in this forum. I used to make it a point to call her a "lesbian" instead of using the generic term "gay" but one day she told me there was no need, she refers to herself as gay most of the time and she told me I was trying too hard to be politically correct. But, the other day I referred to a casual acquaintance as gay and she jumped all over me about it, telling me she was a lesbian and never to call her gay again, in no uncertain terms. Honestly, she was so nasty about it I got tears in my eyes. My sis is 51 and the person who got angry with me is 23. Can I get some opinions on this from womyn of all ages? Thanks very much.
2006-08-15 08:11:18 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Emmie: Honestly, what a strange answer to my question. I'm not a sad person and are not getting upset over the (what was it lol?) "takeover" of a word. Gay has been used to refer to homosexuals since the 1800's, look it up. You seem to be the one with the problem here, use the word "happy" instead lol? I'm constantly amazed by the ignorance I encounter in this forum on a daily basis.
But really appreciating the answers from the group I actually addressed. Thank you all, I will keep checking back. I thought she was out of line too, but then again thought it wasn't for me to say. (Sissy is on a cruise so I couldn't bug her about it ;) )
2006-08-15 09:08:11 · update #1
I don't know why she got so upset. Maybe she feels that she has to really set herself apart from the crowd.
For myself, I will use the term lesbian, gay, dyke...It doesn't really bother me. And really, I don't tend to use these terms at all when I'm describing myself. Being gay is part of who I am, not everything I am.
It could be a generational thing too. Your sis sounds very laid back and I'm sure she's seen a lot of us lesbians who tend to be very militant about their sexual orientation, and have certain hang ups around certain words.
I'm 34 and it just doesn't make much of a difference to me what word is used to describe my orientation.
2006-08-15 09:11:05 · answer #1 · answered by Autumn BrighTree 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What that person did was rude. Peope have varying opinions. Some prefer lesbian. Some don't like the term lesbian. Many are ok with gay. Some dislike the term gay. Some take dyke as an insult. I frequently refer to myself as a dyke. There isn't really a completely accepted politically correct term. Just use whatever term you want, as long as you aren't trying to be insulting. If someone has a problem, then use another term, as long as they aren't being rude like that person was. There is no excuse for how she acted.
2006-08-15 15:20:33 · answer #2 · answered by carora13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 22 and gay. I would not be offended by either term. I am gay but also a Lesbian. Saying someone is gay is general term where as lesbian is more specific. I can understand someone not wanting to be called gay because I think it has more of a negative history as where lesbian is more sensual.
2006-08-15 15:37:48 · answer #3 · answered by JJSassy99 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sassikatz04 -
Does the bible actually define the word "Gay"? I looked it up and can't find any references to "Gay" in the bible. And aren't you a sad person, do you really harbor that much anger over the takeover of a single word? Do you actually find a need to use this word in your daily discussions? Can't you just use . . . I don't know . . . Happy? Or better yet, just use it as you like - if you want to say "I'm so gay today", I'm sure no one would object.
I guess you're just going to have to face it - all of the dictionaries out there define "Gay" as both meaning homosexual and happy. So unless you're prepared to write letters asking for a retraction - I'm afraid the word has already been re-defined.
I am wondering when and how the first homosexual was referred to as "gay" - I'm guessing it was probably meant as a derogatory term used by one of your heterosexual relatives. See how happily they responded, they just took the word for themselves. Damn, them, they weren't supposed to like it, let alone steal it.
2006-08-15 15:57:47 · answer #4 · answered by emmie 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I applaude your love and sensitivity towards your sister and the GLBT community!
In response to your question, I too have found that older demographic groups of the GLBT community take comfort in addressing social concerns under the GLBT umbrella. Afterall, there is power & strength in numbers! But the visibility of the GLBT communities throughout the world today where not always as visible and mainstream as today. Older generations of the GLBT community and their grassroots activism have definitely played a significant role in positive change for future generations of sexual minority members.
As various groups within the GLBT community have made individual strides in public awareness and social acceptance, it would not be out of character for certain groups within the GLBT community to gain some degree of autonomy and Voice in the community.
A more complex response may incorporate factors such as: temperment/personality, coming out age, self-perceived social acceptance, familial support system, GLBT activism, social interaction & personal experience, etc.
Also, almost every college campus has a Women Studies department that educates, validates, empowers future female (and male) generations about women's issues and/or concerns in today's world.
I hope this sheds some light to your question.
2006-08-15 16:34:46 · answer #5 · answered by Newinmyskin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I read this and i was like ... what?! Personaly I dont mind what people call me. I dont think anyone else should eather. If people treat the word "gay" as a bad thing, then people will never come to accept it. It was wrong for this person to act the way they did. If your sister is ok being called gay then there is no reason why you shouldnt.
2006-08-15 15:21:46 · answer #6 · answered by SexyLilChick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im 28 and i dont mind being called gay but some do because it's not PC or some think of gay as a guy's term...lesbian for women and gay for guys...homosexual for all...it really doesnt matter but some take it to heart...for example some ladies dont mind being called a dyke and some do...its more preference than anything....ONE
2006-08-15 15:18:43 · answer #7 · answered by tamika h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, I know a lot of people say "gay" when they refer to homosexual men only. I personally don't care if you call me gay or lesbian. I'm 43.
2006-08-15 15:16:43 · answer #8 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like the young thing is a little unsecure and wants to be OUT there in her sexuality. in the future, don't refer to her at all. i have been called many things and i just look over ppl. (i am 42, lesbian/gay/blissful all my life :)
2006-08-15 19:17:50 · answer #9 · answered by robyn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The youngen that jumped in your sheit sounds like a PC militant. I personally think PC is way over rated.
2006-08-16 02:34:33 · answer #10 · answered by Eat At The Y 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋