how do you no when a relationship is over?

Question

Been with partner for 8 years and all we do is ever not talk or argue.hardly any spark tried talking to him but nothing chances or if does only for short time then back to how it was. feels like if not for my daughters would have ended it a long time ago.

Answer 1

Only you will know when you have had enough.

It's like knowing when you are full when you've eaten. Some people eat a bite or two and are full, others a plate full, while some have seconds or thirds, a few seem never to fill up.

I knew I was finished when I could no longer stand to be in the same room with him. I'd stay in bed till he left for work, or in the bathroom until he went to bed, or go visit my parents when he was off work. I always had an excuse for not sitting down to eat with him or watch TV or go places with him. I no longer wanted to be in his company. I had had enough.

My daughter is going through the same thing with her husband right now and my Mom is constantly telling me to talk to her about leaving him and I told her that when she was ready, and only she would know when she was, then I'd be there for her but until then she had to work on it in her own way.

Answer 2

When u guys tell each other its over. Marriages/uniions, often fall into a rut. That's just how it is. U can't have fun and be "on" all the time. No one is like that, even by themselves. But if u feel u guys are only together for the kids...talk it over with ur partner, and if he/she feels the same way, and it's not working for u two, spllit. But now that u have kids involved...think long and hard B4 splitting, and try to get help or ideas on how to be happy and stay together, instead of torturing urself for the sake of the kids.

Answer 3

no relationship ever ends, u just get bored of saying, & doing the same old things with the same person day in day out, & without interests outside of your relationship, you are bound to get bored with each other. Time appart often sounds like a break up, but it can be the best thing for you. If you are really ment to be together then you will both work towards that end, & if you realise that maybe you will both be better off living seperatly, then that will still be the best thing for both of you in the long run. It is hard & scary territory, but if the alternative is staying together with the fights & arguing (that will only ever get worse) just for the sake of being together, then that is no alternative at all.

Just my opinion.

Answer 4

Sadness, you don't want a relationship that is just holding together because of a child. My parents were like that and in the end, when they finally divorced everyone was so happy. If you still love this person and want to make it work it sounds like you would have to put some serious effort into it. You guys aren't doing anyone, especially your daughter, a favor by staying together and fighting all the time.

Answer 5

well staying in a marriage for the kids is one of the worst reasons you can stay. children are not stupid and can tell when you aren't happy. you don't want them growing up thinking that your behavior (fighting/ignoring each other) is normal. apparently you have been trying to work at it without any long term results. sit down when neither of you is in a bad mood. whether or not it seems like it to you I am sure there are some things that you do that he is not happy with. tell him that you realize that you have your faults and give him the oppourtunity to tell you what you could improve on to make things better. then ask him to give you a chance to do the same. don't get defensive just listen. make an honest attempt to realize your faults and work on them and hope that he is commited enough to do that same. you need to get back to the way things were when you first got together. remember what drew you to each other initially. plan some "date nights" and do things just the two of you that you use to do when you first got together. make a schedule and stick to it. why stay in a marriage for the children? eventually they are going to grow up and move out and then it will just be the two of you. what then? everyone has the right to be happy and if you don't think that you can work things out then leave and find someone who you are happy with. don't waste years and years of your life on account of someone else. when they are older they will understand and honestly will probably respect you more for doing what was right for yourself. marriages aren't ruined by one person. both people contribute to its success and can also contribute to its downfall. give it an honest go and see if you can't remember what brought you together in the first place.

Answer 6

Oh my love,
what a pickle you're in. I think you know when something is over when you stop considering your partners feelings and needs.
When you don't worry when they're home late, or when you prefer it when they "go out with the lads".
The main thing to remember is a happy mummy = happy kids.
What are you doing that is making you happy, and do you believe that it will make you happy for the next 20 years?
I think that maybe in your heart, you already know what you have to do, but you may not be ready to do it - when the time is right for you to make your decision, whatever the outcome, you will know. Just make sure that the children are happy, and remember, he will always be their dad.

Life is precious, live, love, laugh - breathe.

Answer 7

Sometimes it's hard to make a decision in a relationship that has gone stale but someone has to or you'll be there for more years and probably regret it. It takes courage but you have to consider how it's making everyone especially the children feel. They can still see both parents if you're amicable about it. Talk to him and resolve something at least for the girls sake.

Answer 8

Umm sounds like you already know this relationship has ended. Just facing up to it and plan your life accordingly. People hate change and most live in denial - but you have to be strong for your children. Yes, for whatever rhyme or reason, when the communication stops the relationship fails/dies.

When children are involved you have to be very careful how to explain what happened. Sadly today relationships are like everything else - disposable. Learn from this relationship and remember it takes "two" to make it work.

Good luck to you in your future.

Answer 9

kids are never a good reason to stay within a relationship that JUST DOESNT WORK!!!! You should want your daughters to see that they should be in healthy HAPPY relationships and if that isnt possible that they can enjoy being single and still taking care of business and enjoying life. Don't show them false love or how to torment themselves for the sake of a cliqued American dream bulls*t story. Be real with your daughters AND yourself and get out of this no good relationship.

Answer 10

In what way do you think he needs to change? Maybe the fact is that it is you who has changed and now you don't except him as he is. Your changes could be for the best and maybe its now up to you to take the final step. You will always learn and grow as a person by making decisions for yourself. Your daughters will adjust and will get through this with you. It is heart breaking for you to see them suffer due to your decision. But you must not feel guilty. You are as important as them. You need to be able to be happy in order to show your daughters how to love themselves. You are the one who teaches them how to be women. Maybe if they see you taking steps towards a happier you then they in turn in their adult life will do the same.Good luck and be happy.X And also I think you have already decided its over.