At 26 I don't feel like I am finished with childbearing, but I get such mixed remarks from people...?

Question

I feel like it is my choice, but why is it such a big deal to SO many people?

I have a 5 and 4 yr old now...

Answer 1

It is your choice, but it strikes a chord for so many people regarding social, political and emotional issues.

Typically they are giving you their point of view from one of these places, rather than what is right for you. Maybe they question their own childbearing decisions, maybe they have a feminist agenda that wants you focused on career rather than childbearing, maybe they think over population is a concern, maybe they are jealous - the list goes on and on.

Ignore them and trust yourself. The big deal for so many people has so little to do with what is right for you and so much to do with their own issues and concerns they are emotionally invested in.

Answer 2

I think many women go thru this very same thing. When it all comes down to it, it is your choice to have more kids or to be done, and it's no one else's business.

I am in a similar but not the same situation. I'm in my mid 30s and have no kids. People ask me all the time, and are very judgemental as to my child status. Nevermind the infertility and all of the problems I've faced, which I don't talk about, because it's none of their business. My sister who is younger than me has 4 kids and is always being asked if they are done. She feels the same way, you do, very judged and very much like a second class citizen.

I can't tell you why it's a big deal to so many people. Perhaps they feel that they have made the best choices and their life is perfect, and they can't understand why others wouldn't want to make those same choices and have that same life. Never mind that fact that each person needs to choose what is best for him or her.

I do know this, I have no problem telling people when they have asked a stupid question or a question that goes into the presonal realm. I am not mean but am very frank and honest with people. I just feel like they need to know when the line has been crossed.

Good luck, and I' sure what ever you decide it will be right for you and your family.

Answer 3

In the USA, in 1970, the average age for a first-time mom was about 21. Today, she's more likely to be 25 to 29 years old. In France, she's 28, in the UK she's 29.

You're only 26 and already have two kids when lots of women don't! So don't listen to those people, they're ignorant and prejudiced.

Anyway, it's YOUR choice, and it's not their business whether or not you chose to have more kids. I really hate people who harass women about those issues.

Answer 4

I gonna be 25 this month, so, in the same age category and I only have 1 friend with a child....the rest of us are waiting because we feel we are not ready. I have a few older friends that started having children when they were at least 30. They each tell us all who have not started yet to wait because they were so glad they did...they had time to do their own thing so they now know more about life, themselves...yadayada...bottom line though it is your life, your body...you know what it can handle and what you want, so don't let someone else's opinion effect you. Do what makes you happy.

Answer 5

Childbearing contiunes without any hitch at leat until 40 years. In some case women have given birth at the age of 60 also recently.

Answer 6

Learn how to ignore the remarks. I use to get some remarks too from other people and from my mom who use to keep saying that I had enough children. I decide to stop at six. Then I would get " are those all your children". But do not worry about what people say. Its your choice. My mother never watch my children and I never trusted my mother in law either. So what was their complaint.

Answer 7

People are telling you that you're past your childbearing age???? That's absolutely crazy. That's pretty young in regards to today's "norm" for childbearing age, which is usually around 30 now a days, but hey, it's up to you. I'm not done, (i hope) and I'll be 30 shortly, and that STILL gives me plenty of time!

Answer 8

I am 28 and I have one child, he is 3. I was set, for the longest time, on not having anymore children. I thought raising one on my own was hard enough. Now, I have been dating a guy younger than me, we have become pretty serious, and he says he would like a child of his own someday. I joke with him and tell him he better get to looking for a woman willing to give him a child...lol! Honestly, the more I think about it, it doesn't seem so difficult. He is great with my son and I think he would make an amazing father...so maybe my mind will change someday :-)

Answer 9

if you arent done having kids, by all means have more kids. People just think once women reach close to 30 they should stop having babies. I only have a problem with really old women (the ones that have already went through menapause) having babies by IVF. IF you went through that then that is your body tellin ya no kids. Dont pay attention to what other people say, its your choice. I say go for it, if you are prepared and have the means to support a baby do it!

Answer 10

I am also 26 with 3 children, it is really up to how many children you want to have. My husband and I decided 3 boys was a handful. If you are unsure, you should as your husband to get fixed, that is what i did. They say it can be reversed and that way if you want to have children in the future you still can.