For the past months I have been def
Thoughts about everything
Remembering the good times
Since I left
It was a surprise
But more of a gift
To let our relationship
Shake and shift
Im stronger now
Since I left you
It seemed all like a dream
Then I woke up
Seeing a different seen
Thought I missed you
But that wasn’t true
I was playing tricks on my mind
To see I was leaving my life behind
You thought I was weak
You were so wrong
Falling back to were I belonged
I gave up on my tries
Gave up those unmentionable lies
I’m stronger, its true
Since I left you
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is this a good poem? should i make it into a song?
and is it good?
2006-08-15 07:37:35 · 11 answers · asked by Scarlet5 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Music
if i add anything else to it what should i add
2006-08-15 07:52:23 · update #1
Hi..
I think, that you should, go for, it!
You, have a lot of :"Talent"!
With the right title, and some work, you got yourself, a hit!;)
>>>>
It is full of, emotion!;)
And, "we", could learn something out of, it!!
Nice job;)
..Use : Spell check : It is,"deaf" and ""scene"...but you will be fine!;)
>>>>
Thanks, for sharing!;)
>>>
I wish you : "Luck"..:)
>>>>>>>>>
I am shore, you have talent enough, to figure out, what to,add;)
But ma by : what you have planned, now.. ;)
Think about, it.. you will find, it!;) ..
It is coming, from : "your heart" ..
So, you are the only one, who can finish, it!;)
My regards!;)
>>>>>>>>>
2006-08-15 07:56:01 · answer #1 · answered by Kimberly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Apart from a missused word here and there (IE: Seeing a dfferent "seen"..should be "scene"... and def should be "deaf"). You have some very strong lines that I have never heard before ("gave up those unmentionable lies"). Good... now just figure out your chorus!
2006-08-15 07:45:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could use a little work on the emotion i just need more emotion cause all i see in the poem is just words put togeather.
2006-08-15 07:43:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so wonderful! you should really think about being a poet!
2006-08-15 07:43:14 · answer #4 · answered by rhonda m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its a great poem-go ahead
2006-08-15 07:44:28 · answer #5 · answered by mistybluemelodies113 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is so cute........its really good. if you can think of more then yeah it could definently be a song
2006-08-15 07:43:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah its good and totaly you should make it into a song go for it!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-15 07:44:44 · answer #7 · answered by ThE gUrL u WiSh U hAd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds pretty good to me..go for it
2006-08-15 07:42:45 · answer #8 · answered by va8326 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it.
2006-08-15 07:40:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok.. but its deaf not def
2006-08-15 07:41:35 · answer #10 · answered by Mopar Muscle Gal 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋