Everytime I try to talk about us or about how I'm feeling he always changes the subject. I feel like this relationship is all about him and that I'm just along for the ride! He's a great father, but I need more than just my baby's dady! The only attention that he's up for is about sex, or anything that is related. He has a one track mind when it comes to paying attention to me. How do I get him to to listen to me?
2006-08-15 07:19:58 · 46 answers · asked by depressed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OK, this will be hard, but you asked:
try and take the accusatory tone out of your voice when you speak with him about it. try speaking from an entirely objective point of view, like you're the therapist and then listen when its time for listening. don't take what is said personally, or become defensive.
and if you can't do that and it is hard to do, visit with a real professional.
oh and btw, denying sex to your partner is the short road to divorce.
2006-08-15 07:28:53 · answer #1 · answered by icescriem 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you want more attention from him. Start doing things a little diffrent. Hey! don't let him see you sweat over him !!!!! treat him the same way be all about you. Start going out more with your girlfriends dont call him on his cell phone as much. Fix you self up get your hair done in a diffrent style or maybe even color and enjoy life try to stay busy. When he gets in from work give him a kiss ask him how was his day and leave out even if you have to walk around and window shop for 2 to 3 hours. After a week or 2 He will notice somthing diffrent and your husband will start paying more attention to you why? because you are not nagging him a man does not like to be chased let him chase you. Just because you are married does not mean that you have to shut you life down and put your all into your husband !!!!!! Put some spark back into the relationship as if you guys was younger. And as for sex tease him make him wait 2 weeks but tease him .Go to sleep in sexy clothing but dont sleep with him unitl he shows you attention. He is looking for the old you before you guys got married!!!!!!!!!! Good luck.
2006-08-15 07:46:18 · answer #2 · answered by SUNNYt123 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Join the club, you have a man man. The type who is like the Neanderthal, or caveman type guy. My man gets like that a lot, and I have to constantly talk to him over and over again. You just have to never give up, he will come around a little if he is a good man. Just write him little letters reassuring him how much you care and love him, and talk to him whenever the is a spare moment. Don't ramble on, and always be light hearted about your situation. You can catch more flies with honey. But he probably will stay the same. He may bend a little bit. Yes girl I feel you on this one, we have us some regular Homers, Al Bundy, Archie Bunker, type guys. I still love him to death and wouldn't trade him for nobody. Just find a comfortable place in the relationship and enjoy the ride. He is a King and most Kings are that way, they are the rulers. Just be sure you stay his Queen, good luck. Email me if you have to, or im me.
2006-08-15 07:34:29 · answer #3 · answered by nina_ross692000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello, Trust me when I say, I feel your pain! Not only will my husband not talk about us, he does not even think there is a problem! He is constantly giving me band-aid answers like oh, we will be fine! I mean this man goes so far as to talk over me when I am talking! I have no idea what to do, I have tried telling him, that it is very important and screaming at him and being nice and sweet!
Believe me when I say that I have tried everything! I tell you, I might as well be talking to a brick wall, cause my kids listen better! If you figure it out please let me know! Good luck and God bless!
2006-08-17 01:02:28 · answer #4 · answered by iLoveDawnDawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.....sounds like a similar problem I'm having!
I love my husband, and he loves me. We play, we tickle, we talk, we laugh, we interact. But I need it to be more meaningful and passionate, than just an everyday kiss or hug. We need more than to just tell each other about our day, or talk about the kids.
I think women need more emotional attention, and guys need sexual attention. So the lines get mixed a bit, and you both end up fighting for what you want. It just ends up having to be a give and take.
2006-08-15 07:25:58 · answer #5 · answered by Jasmine Lily 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may be all in they way you apprach the subject. Many times men fear that "a talk" will be a blame fest. you may try to just make things better in your realtionship by planning a date night yourself if you miss intimacy with him, or going to play his favorite sport with him to spend "us" time. He could be overwhelmed by his new position as father and husband and just need a little time to just be a guy. Just like you need to have time to just be a woman, every once in while have a coffee with the girls or spend $10 all on you for something that makes you feel special not for the house or your baby.Try writing him a letter hat expresses hwow much you care about him. Say thing like I like it when you come home from work and we cuddle on the couch and watch movies it makes me feel like when we started dating. good luck.
2006-08-15 07:32:26 · answer #6 · answered by fbarkon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my husband is the same way its so frustrating. everytime i bring up something he always says he doesn't want to talk about it right now and then it never gets disgused. it is so selfish. for once i would like to have a conversation with him about our lack of communtication. i even tryed conseling on my part to see if it was maybe the way i was going about it but that didn't even work. so now i have an appt for the both of us, i soubt he will even go. its funny becuase he talks about how he want to start a family but how can we start a family if the two of us can't talk to each other. i did, once, email him my feelings about everything and he didn't response to it but at least he read what i wanted him to know. try writing him a letter to express your feelings about everything. or make a marraige conselor appt. and then he will have to talk. i hope all works well
2006-08-15 07:27:14 · answer #7 · answered by ~Saratini~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't, make him listen.You can tell him that you need to have a serious discussion. You deserve better, he obviously is taking responsibility for his child but that's where it ends -as far as he's concerned. It sounds like your still emotionally involved while his needs are of the sexual nature. You shouldn't feel this way, hopefully by talking through things you can work things out.
2006-08-15 07:25:32 · answer #8 · answered by shae 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
once you assert you reported it, did you men have attain any conclusions or grow to be it merely lovey, noncommittal courtship communicate? I recommend, did you assert... 3 years of exciting and then we are going to artwork on beginning our relatives of four? Or line out any targets you needed to attain formerly having children? How lengthy have you ever been married? in case you've been going to take exhilaration in being married for decades first, and your wedding ceremony grow to be in uncomplicated words 6 months in the past, properly, i might want to understand his discomfort. and how commonly do you attempt to discuss it? month-to-month, weekly, on a daily basis? maximum major, are you 2 satisfied with one yet another and your courting? there are an rather good type of elements which come into play right here.
2016-11-25 19:28:11 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your gonna leave him, act completely serious! If he doesnt believe you, DO IT... Even if its only for a little while. Make him feel like you feel now, like you DONT CARE. Once he realizes that he might lose you, he will come around. This works great with my man, and every man I have ever dated. They all want what they cant have. NEVER FAILS.
2006-08-15 07:23:52 · answer #10 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋