What would make a friend suddenly turn on you?

Question

I have a friend that I am very close to. She and I did things together, took our children and did things with them to the point that our children are also friends. Suddenly, she has been acting like she wants nothing to do with me and I can't figure out why. I asked her and she said that lately she feels like she can't do anything right around me and that she is emotionally unavailable for me when I need her.....well, yeah, but she always has been. I think that's just an excuse. It bugs me that she won't tell the truth but I guess I need to just leave her alone. However, I feel bad for my kids and hers. Why do people do stuff like that? Did I just out last my usefulness to her?

Answer 1

If you value the friendship… ask her again what is wrong. Tell her that you really care about her, and that is saddens you to see such a good friendship being thrown away. Tell her that if you said or did something that upset her, then you are really sorry, but that you didn’t realise you had done it, and wouldn’t deliberately say or do anything to hurt her.

It is quite possible that you haven’t said or done anything wrong. Somebody else may have said something to her about you that may or may not be true. It could also be that she is having a few problems in her personal life, and feels it necessary for you to not get involved. If she is married, it could be to do with problems she may be having with her husband (women in domestic violence situations, sometimes turn that way).

Basically, just let her know that you regard her as a very special friend, and that you will continue to be there for her if she ever feels the need!

Feel free to write it in a letter if you are concerned that she doesn’t want to listen to you!

Good luck!

Answer 2

Kids first:
She should understand her kids needs more than any others. Just as you feel bad for the kid's friendships, I'm sure she feels the same way. Your relationship with her may need a small break, however with a motherly understanding, I'm sure the kids can continue their friendship.
You secondly:
She just may need some time for herself. As a friend, I know I sometimes take things out of context and take a few days to reorganize the information before I confront. So breath and reflect on why you were friends in the first place so you'll be prepared to tell your friend, when she confronts you, what you missed during her time away.

Answer 3

Maybe she's heard something unfavorably about you and believes it. If you are sure you've done nothing to ruin the relationship then it must have something to do with her. It might be a good thing considering that you wouldn't want an emotional wreck and irrational person like her as a long term friend. Look, if you have already tried talking with her and if she adamant about you not being there for her emotionally, then cut her off. As to why people do this...Hmmm...mental problems....she may be overtly sensitive to the point that the most trivial comment makes her feel worthless...

Answer 4

I don't know why people do that. My best friend did the same thing. I still don't know why. She gets into these moods and ignores me. But we are back friends now. Give her some space maybe she is under pressure or something happend that you don't know about. If yall are as close as you sound then she will be back. When she does come back make sure you tell her how you feel about the way she handeled the situation, in a nice way of course, so that she doesn't do it again.GOOD LUCK!

Answer 5

you have a choice,real friends take time to become so, personality, circumstance,watch your children for tips on how to make friends they are brilliant at it, why because they dont pass judgemant, they have no experience of life, the opinions that they have are probaly yours,, with no criteria upon which to base thier judgement of thier friend they tend to accept thier new friend for what they are, until such times as the new friend reveals a part of themselves that they are not happy about,not sharing ,ect is it true that your new friends children have no say in the matter, are they to lose thier friends as well as you.Why not stop judging her, accept her for who and what she is,your attitude towards her has driven a wedge between you, if this is more than just friendship on your part you have to ask yourself ,is this what she wants,clearly not,let your children mix but you distance yourself put your affection on hold, until such times that she wants to have more. than friendship, the chances are that you may feel different yourself,given time,maybe that is all she required, a friend, not a partner for life.she may not want to hurt your feelings, especially if she likes you, but that is as far as it will go.
she may be more considerate than truthfull. balancing one against the other, it landed on tails, accept it move on. good luck LF

Answer 6

take her out somewhere nice like somewhere u guys used 2 hang out when u were teenagers or something. like a restaraunt u both enjoy and just talk about the problem. tell her that you're there for her and your there for her 2 talk to. and maybe your kids and her kids could do something together like bowling. do something that makes her feel like she is still your friend. good luck:)

Answer 7

People generally are pretty shallow. Rise above it and don't bother about it. Your utility to her has changed for whatever reason. She doesn't have the depth to sustain a relationship under these circumstances, so give it up. She's not worth it.

Answer 8

You must have said or did something to get her angry. do you think that maybe one of your children repeated something to her that they should not have, something that maybe they overheard you say? Kids sometimes just blurt out things that they really shouldn't. that would probably be my guess especially if nothing you have said or done to her comes to mind.

Answer 9

Evil

Answer 10

It sounds like she's having a confidance problem ... there is not much you can do to help her out except reasure her with out being obvious when ever you get the chance ...