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We have been dating for a long time. About three years. and i keep hinting that i'd like to get married to him. But he never hints back or even notices my hinting. should i keep on hinting, should i move on, or should i just wait?

signed,
the scared one.

2006-08-15 06:24:07 · 8 answers · asked by anglegirlnicholemitchell 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

8 answers

Depending on your age and your station in life (i.e., are you in school, do you both have jobs, etc?), three years could be considered a long time.

It's pretty remarkable in any case to be with someone that long and NEVER talk marriage, simply fantasizing about the future.

In any case, either your "hints" have not been obvious enough [sometimes girls think they're hinting, but it's not on a level an average guy will pick up], or he's specifically dodging the issue.

At three years, I think you both should have an idea if the relationship is worth further investment.

I wouldn't propose to him or push him to marry you. What I would do is get some time where you won't be interrupted, where he's able to talk, and discuss with him what his ideas of marriage are, does he want to get married, why and why not, what conditions would have to be in place, and so forth -- just in general.

(If he doesn't want to discuss it, that says he's not interested.)

Once you get a feel for his opinions and desires, you can better determine whether it's worth staying around in hopes of marriage, or whether you need to move on in order to find an eventual mate.

I know it's scary, since you are afraid he might tell you, "no." I wish there was a way around that, and it'll hurt if he does. It's hard to lose a relationship, especially one that has lasted a few years. But if he is not wanting to marry, you can't force him to change, if you do he still won't be committed to you, and you will be less happy than before.

2006-08-15 07:07:57 · answer #1 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 0 0

Well sometimes guys are just kinda oblivious to hinting about things, especially marriage. Either that or he knows what you're talking about and he's just scared to take that type of dive. You might just have to have a nice sit down with him and discuss you two's relationship, and where it's going to go down the road. Because if you want to get married and he doesn't then you might have to make the choice of whether or not you want to stay in the relationship or find someone who wants the same things as you do. Yet talking about your feelings are always the best, especially since you have been dating eachother for 3 years. Good luck, i wish you the best.

2006-08-15 06:32:48 · answer #2 · answered by fire_fly_006 1 · 1 0

Well you have to ask yourself is marriage that important right now. Are you willing to leave him because he hasn't proposed. If you really loved him then it won't matter. Maybe he is thinking about proposing. I don't know your age, but maybe he is not ready. Just because you are with someone for 3 years doesn't mean you have to get married. When the time is right it will happen.

2006-08-15 06:33:12 · answer #3 · answered by Vthokie25 3 · 0 0

How about arranging for a nice romantic dinner, and then bringing up the topic of marriage. Ask him what his future plans are for his life. What job, what type of house, family plans. Ask is he is interested in having you in those future plans.

2006-08-15 06:41:49 · answer #4 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0 0

Maybe he is scared, we arent stupid as guys. He knows what you want, but maybe hes just not quite ready for a commitment. Maybe you should be blunt and ask him, if hes not ready, maybe you should move on.

2006-08-15 06:33:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

well since your other Question said you are pregant, I think you should just tell him, I want to get married and have this baby with you and have us a little family

2006-08-15 08:47:41 · answer #6 · answered by fandj4ever 4 · 0 0

Propose to him if you want him to marry you.

2006-08-15 06:33:48 · answer #7 · answered by wayouthere 4 · 0 0

Move on!!!

2006-08-15 06:35:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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