You remember Willie, our small town's only mechanic! Sure you do. He's the one who "fixes" cars and weeks later they shart cartwheeling down our street! OH!! And Willie solved the problem if his reassembling a Cadillac and a Honda Civic back into one car--a Hondallac or a Cadonda!! He just burned it for the insurance and paid off the two owners for their previous TWO cars.
But now, we have a new Willie-Problem. The local Guard unit's tank broke down and they asked Willie to come fix it. He did--it's running again. In circles on the armory parade ground. It won't stop.
And it's growling and firing its gun!
So far, we've lost the steeple off the Baptist Church, Widow Rackstraw's vegetable garden, a tour bus loaded with Russian tourists that was passing through--even though that accident may cause a nuclear reaction from Putin who is some kind of p!ssed, we hear--and a series of HUGE potholes in our street. (This is a really small town.)
The Guard guys can't get inside it!!
2006-08-15 05:52:53 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Cars & Transportation ➔ Maintenance & Repairs
Willie served in my unit in Nam. He never was too smart. One day we were pinned down and I told Willie to go get that machine gun. After about twenty minutes he came crawling back and I said,"Willie, did you get that machine gun?" and he said "nawsa Sarge, theys be still using it". What a dumb*ss.
2006-08-15 06:02:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The guard needs to get some real military men out there, or some real rednecks... The local rednecks here have a habit of hunting with rocket launchers they bought off that black market ebay a while back... Said the copters from the local military outfit scare the deer.. That's why our area has some of the worst records for "training disasters" in the military. Won't say it on the news but I do know the military is actively looking for the perps, but no military can find a backwoods redneck.
Tell them to get the tank aimed at something you mind loosing and fire two rockets at the tracks... a sledge and a budweiser should take care of the lock (sledge for the lock.. and everyone knows you can't get a redneck to work without a beer).. tell him that Jeff Gordon is in the tank and wants to level the town to make a new alternative lifestyle town for the new wave of arabs coming who can't stand country or rock music and who beleive that Hustlers and Hooters should be outlawed... take a redneck about 3 seconds tops to get it stop the firing.
Afterwards, I hear they are bringing together a posse to kick Willie's butt for working on stuff and not offering everyone else at least a beer run in it (ever tanked over to a 7-11? LOL)
2006-08-15 23:10:39 · answer #2 · answered by gearbox 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if his name is Willie, but but about 25 years ago some jerk actually stole a tank from the San Diego armory and went for a joy ride on FWY I-5 destroying cars and toppling electric poles on his way. A highway patrolman finally climbed on top of the tank and shot the jerk.
So what is your question?
Keep Smilin'
2006-08-15 13:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by HANAN. 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hooray!! Willie's back. :o)
2006-08-15 15:59:33 · answer #4 · answered by monte 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go play with your sword!!
2006-08-15 14:52:51 · answer #5 · answered by MScott480 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You really enjoy asking god for forgiveness don't you?
2006-08-15 14:18:58 · answer #6 · answered by Job 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋