Why is it that so many guys like myself is in the closet?

Answer 1

Guys like you are in the closet because you have a fear within yourself...

whatever that fear is, let go and be true to yourself.

You deserve it, life is too short to be unhappy.

Unless of course you're happy being in the closet, then by all means continue life as is.

Answer 2

Becuase of the way society is today saying ti's wrong and you'll go to hell. It's an added scare by Christianity and in the beginning when the religion was first born countless numbers of people were scaring other people to convert to them or be murdered or go to hell or be kicked out of society in their village. Even still today Christianity hasn't changed much. It's still a religion that threatens people of going to hell which isn't true. So these guys are afraid of going to hell or hear about going to hell from other people and are ashamed of who they are, when they shouldn't be. Most people don't understand why gay people are gay so that's another reason why gays are shunned upon. It's quite sad really. They say we're the ones who need help and all that, but really, it's them. They need to be educated to be taught that it's okay and those preachers and preists that are hiding in the closet as well, need to stop saying how it's a sin.

Answer 3

Only you can answer that question. I have found that, in general, those who hide from the world, also hide from themselves....We have been berated, belittled, made fun of, etc. for so long, that some of us begin to believe the rot handed out. NOT ME! I am out there, I have my own businesses, I deal with the public on my level, not theirs, and I am highly respected, not because I am gay, but because I am me. i ask NO client what they do in bed, and I tolerate no bull from clients who start with the "queer" jokes. When you demand respect, guess what! You get it! The message that is given by Closet Dwellers is "I am ashamed of who I am." People pick up on this, and either agree with you, or wonder what in the world is wrong with you! Until you can work out these problems yourself, don't expect anyone else to do it for you. I am not a hostile guy. I am easy to get along with. IF, and it is very rare, someone makes unseemly gestures or threats, they are met with swift response, either verbal or physical on my part. I do not look back to see if they can pick themselves up from the pavement. And, I can almost promise you that they will watch what they say in the future. IN fact, I have had some serious appolgies from some of those I have laid out. I happens very rarely, but it does happen. I am not about to further the stereotype of gays being harmless, being people others can say anything they like to, being a "pansy." Try it with me and there will be some serious consequences. I strongly suggest to ALL gays...get self defense lessons, learn them well, and use them when necessary. I don't go on the offensive, but I will be damned if I will not defend myself and those about me. No one has tangled with me more than once. I suggest the same for you. Only then, perhaps, will you have the guts to pop the hinges off the door, take pride in yourself, and stand tall. It really feels pretty good. Good luck

Answer 4

It might depend on where you are.
I am in Toronto, Canada and cannot imagine hiding my gayness.
My family doesn't really take an issue with it either so that helps.
My best friends are a married straight couple and a straight woman, all of whom are supportive and have come to clubs and parties with me.

I think if you have a support system you have no reason to be closeted. That said, only you can decide if and when you are ready to be openly gay.

Best of luck!

Answer 5

The way in which people...friends, family, society on a whole could possibly treat you is probably one of the main reasons gay ment choose to stay hidden.

The "flaunting" gay men who go to the extent they do has made many, who might accept this lifestyle, choose to go against it simply because the overly exaggerated gay men have caused somewhat of a stereotypical view.

Personally, people should not see you any differently gay as they do currently thinking you are straight...however, some people can't seem to get past the sexual part of it and thus they can't get past the acceptance of you as a whole either.

Decide who you want to be...the pretending straight man or the who you are gay man and be damned anyone who doesn't accept you...those people are either people who are shallow and not really worthy of your friendship anyway...or they are simply misguided and fearful...for you and of you. Society dictates unfortunately.

Good luck with this and I hope it all works out in a way that is most comfortable and natural for you.

Answer 6

So many variables such as location, upbringing, life experience, religion, work relationships...all have measurements of acceptance. For a lot of people, these measurements are low.

"I can't come out because I want to get that promotion"
"I can't come out because people in this area aren't very accepting"
"I can't come out because my parents were brought up to think being gay is evil/immoral'
"I think I'm gay, but my experiences/stories I've heard about gay people have all been bad"

People are naturally afraid of things that are different. Those in the closet want the security of knowing they will not be openly ridiculed or labeled because of the gay stereotypes like promiscuity, drugs, and AIDS.

Answer 7

Possibly, you don't fit the stereotype of what most people perceive as being gay. Many men are very masculine and don't act fem at all. In addition; it could be based upon a professional protection issue. Many people in corporate America have beards to achieve their goals. Lastly its the rejection aspect; not wanting to lose family, friends, etc.. I don't believe people should be outed. I think its like a butterfly coming out of their cocoon. If you help or push, it will damage their frailness and possibly cause more problems.

Answer 8

Its no easy coming out...its like screaming 'Look at me! Im different! You dont like it but I am!' Its a bit hard for some people to take and hard for some like yourself to deal with how society would react to it. It could be the fear of how some ppl will act..or knowing that some people would not accept it. dissapointment, ridicule etc...

However..if you have a good support system you'll breeze thru coming out.

Answer 9

Because gay's are ridiculed and bashed by people fearfull of the gay lifestyle. It's easier to stay in the closet and not share with other people

Answer 10

hey im like that too and the reason im still in the closet is because im jus scared of what other people think..i wish i didn't have to be like that but thats the way it is