I work for Oral Roberts Univeristy, and I'm Gay. Should I leave?

Question

ORU is one of the world's largests Christian Universities, one that is know for hating GLBT's.
I starting working here through a temp agency, not know what kind of university it was. Five years later, I still work here.
My partner is extremely upset that I still work here. I don't like not being my full self at work either, but should I quit simply because the place I work for would fire me if they knew I were gay?

ORU can fire me because of the 'honor code' i signed to work here, claiming that i cannot smoke, drink, do drugs, blah blah blah, or be gay.

Answer 1

answer number 2 is right...... you could make a pretty penny out of that law suit.

however, i was concerned when you said that you dont feel you can be yourself at work. seeing work is an everyday thing...... thats quite a bit of acting.

plus im guessing your partner is really feeling left out of your life seeing he cant really just drop by or go to special work dinners or be introduced proudly as your partner.

i wouldnt leave because its a christian organization and for some reason they believe a religion based on love would somehow be opposed to certain types of love. we both know this is crazy!!! you know jesus would think the 2 of you are simply swell.

i think you and your partner need to work out just how much a)this separates you as a couple and b) how much of yourself you feel you have to compromise to work there

if it separates the 2 of you too much and you feel you are compromising too much........ maybe its time to go.

best of luck

ps just read what you said about signing that document. whether you signed it or not that document is discriminitory and ill bet a first year law student could argue you out of that.

Answer 2

Im guessing this is America you are in? If they fired you on the grounds of your sexual orientation then would that not be against the sexual discrimination act (The UK has this) or whatever America's equavailent is, presuming that they had one?

Anyway..regardless of the law..your work environment would make you fee llike an outcast and that is so christian of them! is it not? Extremely hypocritical. My advice is that if you do not feel like you are in a good work environment then leave...there are many other places that make you feel about about just being yourself. You don;t want to be in an environment where you will be discriminated and where you have to tell 'white lies' about yourself. Places like that dims a persons spirit and 5 years is a long time. I say Quit! or if they do anything to sabotage your employment then file a lawsuit then quit!

Actually..maybe you should go all out in their face and watch them squirm lol.

Answer 3

I think you should call Lambda Legal Defense and find out how far that "honor code" would hold. They almost certainly have experience both with Oklahoma employment & discrimination law and similar employment contracts/codes. If they say the law is on your side, come out at work; if not, get another job and then quit, and make a point of telling them why. Do you really want to spend the rest of your working life looking over your shoulder every time you and your partner go to TGiFriday's?

Answer 4

I like kscowboiway's answer. Sending them a letter telling them would you left would be great, but they'd probably just say good riddance and throw it away.

To be honest, this is a difficult question because it depends on how uncomfortable you are at work; some people say nothing about their personal lives, while others feel compelled to talk to everyone about everything. Which one are you more like?

Unless your state's law says otherwise (and it probably doesn't), they CAN fire you for being gay. Technically, they could argue it's a "bona fide occupational qualification" and that your sexual orientation conflicts with the university's mission. It's sick but true. Based on that fact, I would leave as soon as I could.

Answer 5

Chances are if they ever find out they will fire you. Your partner sounds very support of you and most likely would be if you changed jobs. I personally would not want to work for such a place, in fear of my job all the time. that has to place a lot of stress upon you. I say start looking for a new job, keep the one you have until you find one. When you do find one, send a nice letter to ORU telling them exactly why you left.

Answer 6

A school based upon "christian love and teachings." It has no place for gays in their way of life. Proud that you that you have stuck it out. In the first place what you do in private is your business. Am sure you are not the only gay person at ORU.

Answer 7

It really depends on just how uncomfortable you can accept being...of course if they find out they'll probably boot you out anyway...sorry but I always thought Christians were about acceptance and such towards their fellow man...a shame they aren't really.

Anyway...sorry about the "rant", it really is up to you and how you feel you can handle this ... if being yourself is more important...resign, if being uncomfortable to have this job and worried you will be fired simply for being who you are...then resign. If you feel that it is important for you to continue...then stay and try to at least work it out with your partner...

Firing you on the grounds of who you are sexually is discrimination and punishable by law...firing you on the pretext that you are lousy at your job or for any other made up reason...is grounds for you to at least fight for your rights even if you don't want to go back to the job...after 5 years someone doesn't just become inept.

Good luck with this situation, hope it works out for the best.

Answer 8

Well, first things first: you need to be true to yourself. Think about what would happen if they found out?

Would you rather quit a job for not being your true self or be fired from a job for being yourself?

Are you happy at this place? I mean its a series of questions you need to ask yourself!

best of luck!! i hope it all works out!

Answer 9

Stay on and find a way to sabotage their terrorist organization from within. You'd sort of be like the French Resistance, except without the surrender.

Answer 10

Dude stay until you can't stand it anymore. In the mean time use some of the money they pay you to support causes and candidates that would make them crazy.

oral roberts now there's a guy who was named for the wrong end.