My hubby and I have been married for only 3 months, the sex is great but I have a hard time getting in the mood for it. I feel like I'm too fat or not pretty enough. I even wonder if he finds me gross. I am 5'6" and I weigh 145. I don't think I am fat, I could use some toning, but definitely not fat. Any ideas on how to fix it.
2006-08-15 05:12:28 · 32 answers · asked by kelynn1985 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
very confusing. You say that you feel fat but then you say you don't think that you are fat...? make up your mind. If your husband loves you, a couple extra lbs. dont make a difference, he loves all of you. If you have some self image issues, do some sit-ups or get on the treadmill for a while instead of bitching about it on the computer.
2006-08-15 05:19:20 · answer #1 · answered by scotty mayo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow were the exact same height but I weigh more.
I'd have to say I agree with the others. It sounds like your suffering from low self esteem. OK so your only been married for 3 months. Why do you think he wanted to marry you? The guy loves you for you. If you want to tone up do it but that's your idea not his.
As for getting in the mood it's different for every one. It's true women suffer from sexual dysfunction more than men. There are many reasons for this occurring diseases, disorders as well as psychological. Although your problem with getting in the mood may not be medical or psychological, you may want to talk to a doctor just to be on the safe side. Although it's always better to try non-medical remedies first. Also talking to your husband about how you feel may help out more than you think.
As this is something I can go on and on about I've listed a few sources that may help. Oh and yes I read them. ;) Although I haven't completely gone through the 3rd link there.
Although my best advice is try taking vitamins. A friend of mine swears by Sarsaparilla, Horny goat weed and Boron. All of these are available at GNC health stores.
2006-08-15 06:05:38 · answer #2 · answered by J Greenhood 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not fat. Beleive me. You're taller than I am, and weigh almost the same as I do. Get your self-esteem up. You apparently have a personal issue that lacks love towards yourself, and trust me, you won't get that from HIM or anyone else for that matter. If you feel unhappy w/yourself, and NOT because of him, then work on it.
Now, as far as getting in the mood... well, you'll have to figure that one out w/a little exploring. First of all, what do YOU like? Remember that a woman needs foreplay to get in the mood and to be very aroused for sex. For some it may only be a passionate kiss, while others it's a little action down there first then the sex. Figure it out and HAVE FUN!!! This is your sex life w/your HUBBY!!! Spark it up and look at yourself as beautiful and sexy. Have him buy you something that you like to wear to entice the moment. But, really, HAVE FUN. I mean it.
2006-08-15 05:36:18 · answer #3 · answered by ControVerse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that I have to agree with most everyone here get some self esteem!!!
Pray. Your husband must love you or he would not have married you. Talk to him he is probably as frustrated as you are, because if you are hard to put in the mood then he is probably thinking some of the same things that you are about himself.
And no you are not fat by any means. Good Luck Go to the Lord he has all the best answers!!
2006-08-15 05:46:49 · answer #4 · answered by Froggy_45 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hunny look he cant find u gross he married u didnt he for who u are. My hubby is a big guy and he keeps asking me how can i love him hes a "fat azz" (his words) and i just do i love everything about him i married him for the person he is. hes my everything he gets me and i get him thats all that matters right, well hunny for the sex part u need to stop worring about ur weight and just put on something sexy and he can put u in the mood. lite some candles but on some soft music. (ur wedding song would be a good song) and sip on some wine or something. hunny this is all i can really tell u but if u want to IM u can we can talk if u like. ur sex drive is not that high right now because u are feeling sorry for ur self go for walks and do some sit ups if u are that worried about that.
2006-08-15 05:25:15 · answer #5 · answered by twib_tch69069 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5'6" at 145 is not fat, although you will hear different on these boards. Truth of the matter is that it really doesn't matter - what matters is how YOU feel about yourself and how he feels about you. You don't mention anything about his treatment of you so I have to wonder why, after only 3 months of marriage, you are suddenly wondering if he finds you "gross" ? What happened ?
God Damn the media where only people who are built like Paris Hilton are worthy of having sex.....
If there is something else going on with your husband, then you need to sort that out, but if he is still hot to trot with you and you are the only one having trouble getting into the mood, it may be more than your body image. (If it is just body image, then diet off 10 pounds, get a trainer at the gym and have at it in bed!) But if it is more than body image - it may be that your hormones are off, and you need to talk to your doc. It may be that your adjustment to being a wife and not girlfriend/lover is being difficult, and then you need to talk to a counselor.
BUT YOU ARE NOT FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-15 05:21:17 · answer #6 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to have your self esteem all wrapped up in your body image.....really, you're not that shallow, are you? Your husband isn't.....he married you regardless.
I understand about the "noise" of self doubt distracting you from thoughts about sex....
Has he said or done snything that would make you doubt his attraction to you? Does he flirt with other women or masturbate with porn? Does he seem to be looking for something else better than you? If he doesn't do any of these things, I wouldn't worry about it.
As far as your weight and self esteem, 145 IS overweight for 5-6" so you can improve your self-image by putting some more effort into getting fit.
Fitness will also improve your sex drive, and help your body increase it's sexual response. Plus, it will make you feel good about yourself and give you more energy.
Good luck and take care!
2006-08-15 05:27:59 · answer #7 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he married you three months ago, unless you have put on 45 pounds in the last three months just relax about it.
however it has recently been discovered that even losing 5 pounds can have a major improvement in a woman's body image which in turn can have a major impact on sex drive.
so maybe hitting the gym for a few weeks would help you.
but remember, as you are married your body will change, so will his, it's just part of life. your husband loves you for all that you are, not just how you look naked. and in the long run comitted love is a much greater aphrodesiac than toned abs.
2006-08-15 05:23:20 · answer #8 · answered by jude D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt very much that you woke up in the last 3 months 40 pounds heavier than when you got married! He loved you when you married why would you think he has a problem with you now? Beauty is skin deep, corny but true. He loves you for you, and you are beautiful! Maybe you should work on your self confidence and understand he is there with you not because of your looks.
2006-08-15 05:25:49 · answer #9 · answered by hummingbird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, my wife is 5'3'' and 155...Granted, she just gave birth to a second child, but either way those are her figures. It doesnt really matter what you look like...Your hubby married you for alot of reasons and if he wasnt attracted to you, he wouldnt have married you or had sex with you in the first place. Keep all that in mind and maybe it will be boost your confidence.
2006-08-15 05:35:50 · answer #10 · answered by kbjcw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋