I have dated a guy off and on for the last year. nothing too serious because he traveled alot for work. I know who his mom is and over heard talking to someone the other day. I just found out his is married and has kids. I did not know this. but I heard his mom talking about that he was seperated and now there is another girl in another state who he dated too and she is pregnant too. do i just keep my pregnancy a secret and move on with my life. because its sound like he has a lot of drama and my child will make baby #4 for him as far as I know. he sounded like a really great guy when I met him and we started seeing each other. not anymore.
2006-08-15 04:38:50 · 28 answers · asked by jessi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
oh wow... so do you know his mom? did she know you were dating her son. If you are able to take care of yourself and your baby I say go for it. but if you need help and you have to list him as the dad be ready for years of drama from the sounds of things with this guy. and unless he is making big $$$ there wont be too much left over for your little one. because the other ladies may file for child support first... i say move on... but make sure you have all the information on him that you can get for you child's sake and keep pictures if you can. there may be a day when your little one wants to know what he looked like. or why they don't have your smile.... find out what the names and ages of his other kids are and his extended family so if in the future you child can know he has another family out there.. and also that way they dint end up dating a half sister or cousin... Good luck
2006-08-15 04:45:49 · answer #1 · answered by concerned mom 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I answered your other question too. I clicked your profile because I wanted to see where your head was. Be a smart and a good mommy, better than a lot of women (including me) who had the misfortune of not picking the best dad for that child (speaking of my 1st and not present pregnancy). Do not be light on him. He has a responsibility to his seed, his child regardless of you and your feelings. Don't protect him, he didn't protect you and your soon to be little precious innocent baby. Only keep the pregnancy secret if you're ready to tell your baby how, why and when you made such a choice. Trust me, KIDS WANT TO KNOW AND HAVE their parents, no matter how scummy or unworthy they are. ALWAYS. So, I'm not for you keeping the secret, but I can relate to why you might, but protecting him is a s#!t reason to even think of doing it. Sorry you must go through this, love. Best wishes and have a healthy, beautiful baby! Take care of y'all!!
~peace
2006-08-15 13:56:38 · answer #2 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well 1st of all u keeping ur baby has nothing to do w/all his other babymammas and his wife.. now u will become a babymamma and u might have to raise this baby alone.. that's what u should be thinking about..
if u want to keep ur baby then do so, don't terminate based on the fact that he has other kids..
u most def need to approach him about this and leave him.. and let him know u'll be in touch for child support..
cut ur losses and move on, cause u don't need to concern urself w/his drama, and u don't need this drama since ur expecting either.. u need to care for urself and this unborn baby.. that should be priority #1, 2, 3, 4 and 5....
he is married still so he can't be ur man, even if they're separated.. he should've handled the situation w/his wife before making 2 whole new families on the side..
good luck
2006-08-15 11:45:51 · answer #3 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, what a fine kettle of fish! ;-) Anyways....you should definitely NOT keep it a secret. Bad for you, bad for the kid.
If Johnny Appleseed wants to be so irresponsible, unfeeling, immature and selfish, that is up to him. Thank goodness you found out about it before getting more seriously involved with him.
Now, you have to worry about your child's welfare. Get a DNA test and make loverboy pay child support. If he wishes, he may see the child, unless there are proveable reasons you would rather not go that route. Leave it up to the judge.
Good luck
2006-08-15 11:51:26 · answer #4 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, tough situation. My advice would be to make sure he takes responsibilty for your child, but that doesn't mean he has to be a part of your life as well. Your baby will need a father, and you may need his financial support. Don't let him off that easy. This way is win win, your baby has what they need and he doesn't get you which may drive him even more nuts. Stick it to him. But at the same time, if you don't think he is going to be a good father, just take his money, and hopefully you will find someone who is willing to be a father figure.
2006-08-15 11:51:29 · answer #5 · answered by kt367521 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt keep the pregnancy a secrect because he has a right to know that he is going to be a dad...AGAIN. I do not know if he will support the child emotionally BUT you must take him to court for child support....your baby deserves that much. Also tell him to keep his d i c k in his pants before he spreads more than his liquid bullets from state to state. I mean really your child is going to have how many siblings that he/she will never know? He is truly a rolling stone and needs to be smarter and safer with his tool.
2006-08-15 11:46:03 · answer #6 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, go for the child support. Sorry that you got yourself in this predicament. I hope you can take care of the baby yourself because it sounds like he will not be there for the long haul!! but he does have the right to know that he has a child and your child should have the right to know that he/she as 3 1/2 siblings.
2006-08-15 11:45:20 · answer #7 · answered by majesticwife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bummer ..... yes move on with your life.......
He is dishonest and doesn't even have the respect for you to tell you of his sorted past.....
He doesn't love you....... If he did no matter how many relationships or other children he has had he would have respected you enough to tell you so you could decide for yourself whether you desired to be with him.....
Not telling you about his past to me would be the same as not telling you he had an STD :-(
Unfortunately it seems you are pregnant with his child.....
Don't tell him .....
A real man that has compassion and the desire to be with you will understand in the future, when you find a real man :-)
Good Luck hunting
P.S. ( treat others as you would want to be treated ) Be honest
P.S.S. get that child support but kick his *** to the curb
2006-08-15 11:52:14 · answer #8 · answered by Larry 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
See the father of your baby immediately and make plans to marry him before your child is born, no matter what. If he shouldn't marry you because he is already married, let him commit bigamy then divorce him. In any case, do this for your unborn child. You've made one mistake by letting yourself get pregnant without a husband, now do the right thing for your child, that is, marry the dirt bag then divorce/annul the marriage. Your child will thank you in the long run.
2006-08-15 11:53:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a turning point in your life, the decisions you make now will effect the rest of your life. Do what you feel is right in your heart, you do know what you need to do,,,hopefully you have a good family behind you to help support you in your decisions. Tell this man you are pregnant, I'm sure he will help but you do not need to continue a relationship with him. Things always have a way of working out we just can't see it at the moment. Keep well and Healthy,,Good Luck.
2006-08-15 11:54:28 · answer #10 · answered by Gabriele 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋