My boyfriend and I were at a party this weekend, and we got really drunk. We decided to "have fun" and experience other people. We didn't have sex with them, but now I have a problem. I can't get this guy out of my head. And it's my boyfriend's best friend. (well, ex - now he's really mad at me for doing anything, although it's ok what he did with the other girl, and now he wants to beat this guys ***...). I really don't know what I should do because I feel guilty about being with my boyfriend when I'm thinking of someone else. I know nothing would ever happen with this other guy, so I don't know what to do. Any thoughts?
2006-08-15 04:09:58 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You shouldn't have put yourself in this situation. There is nothing good that can come from this.
2006-08-15 04:13:53 · answer #1 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thrill of forbidden fruit is always exciting, but it always comes at a price. What you've gotten is a valuable lesson for the future. Many a couple thought it might be fun to swap things out with another couple to spice things up a bit. "We're open, and sophistocated, and we can handle it", but invariably some emotional issue arises as a result that takes one or both of you into directions you couldn't foresee...that's the lure of that trap, and the consequence. It stands to reason that just because you can do a thing, doesn't mean you should. If you value a relationship at all, guard it against outside influences, because those will be the things that will be its undoing. Right now as you both look back on the situation, with your relationship in near-tatters and one of you ready to fight his best friend(ex), do either of you think it was worth this grief now? Relationships are fragile and should be given every opportunity to thrive if you value them. The upside of this situation is, your boyfriend learned the same lesson you did...so that's something you don't have to re-learn or revisit with someone else. You'll probably both never try that again whether you stay together or not. I hope you guys hang in there though because it was a lesson well-learned...move past this and be good to each other. Tell your boyfriend it's pointless to try to fight his friend, because it was a dumb idea arrived at by mutual consent ( alcohol is no excuse). If it makes you feel any better, they're probably having the same difficulties over at his house as you are at yours. Good luck to all of you as you work to repair the damage.
2006-08-15 04:31:09 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you dont need a boyfriend, and it sounds like your bf doesnt need a girlfriend. the whole point behind the concept of a relationship is that you two make the other happy, and keep each other satisfied. the mind-set behind having a spouse is that you shouldnt have the urge to experiment with other people. my advice, get rid of the boyfriend, go have some fun with yourself, your friends, do what you want without having confusing thoughts clouding your feelings. i.e. if you like somebody, you should interact with that person, you should definately not have to worry about what your boyfriend is going to think or say or do.. life is about meeting new people and taking chances, as cliche as that sounds. im not sure how old you are, but if your under 26, i would definately encourage being single, being free, and tightening the head on your shoulders before trying to work out a relationship.
2006-08-15 04:18:28 · answer #3 · answered by knucklehed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you've crossed a line that can never be taken back..I'm sure you do feel guilty, but what's done is done. You can't go back & change things..you have to let this go - BOTH of you, and get on with your life..your boyfriend is being a hypocrite, what it's okay for him to be with another girl - but you shouldn't have been with another guy...
You may both have damaged this relationship beyond the point of saving it...only you two can decide this. You either need to both put it behind you and move forward, or you need to move on with your life. You can't undo what's been done...
2006-08-15 04:16:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, I have a thought. Don't be messin' around until you are mature enough to handle the consequences, which you and your boyfriend are obviously not. Best just to break it off now and start over with someone else. He will never get over it and will use it against you ever chance he gets.
2006-08-15 04:15:51 · answer #5 · answered by rando_59 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a heart-too-heart talk with yourself. For one thing, you are not married to your boyfriend. If you decide that he is not your soul-mate, then you may move on. Ask yourself why you are having ambivalent feelings? Is it because deep down you are not truly happy? Or was it because you put yourself in a compromising situation and you yielded to temptation?
2006-08-15 04:25:22 · answer #6 · answered by pierson1953 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you had really committed to each other, there would not have been playing with others. by the way would he have gotton so mad had it been anyone other than his friend? From my experience I would have been bothered by the suggestion of doing other people, somebody always ends up getting hurt.
2006-08-15 04:21:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its time to grow up. What you did is in the past and you and your boyfriend need to move on. He seems to have a double standard.
2006-08-15 04:16:01 · answer #8 · answered by TropicalSun 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
End the relationship. No good relationship ever includes experiencing other people.
2006-08-15 04:14:27 · answer #9 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you guys did that you guys were just asking for problems ,but maybe this is the ultimate test of your relationship to see if you guys will last through this or not
2006-08-15 04:15:21 · answer #10 · answered by LISA M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋