Are there any fathers out there that chose to give up their child for adoption becuase of a bad break up?

Question

I am in this really nasty situation with my ex and admit that I havn`t been the best father...Didn`t pay my child support as I was suposed to, I owe a lot of money and dont think I will ever get out of this debt now. I`m just scared and really need som advice from someone that has been through this already. PLEASE HELP>>>>

Answer 1

I think that is something only you can decide however take into consideration it will not solve your money problems because all the money you owe you will still this does not wipe out back child support.. Sometimes if your really just not interested in the child staying out of it's life is the best thing you can do for it .

Answer 2

I know some guys who wanted to do the same thing, and frankly if you are not going to be a good father to your child (which you already admitted you have not been) then that may not be a bad idea. However, there are two things I can think of that could stand in your way 1) You have to get the mother of the child to actually agree to you giving up your rights and if all she's looking for is child support money that may be hard because she would be giving that up, and 2) There has to be another man willing to adopt your child as his own, otherwise, most courts in most states will not grant this even if both you and the mother want it, and as for the ones that will grant it your child support obligation does not get eliminated until there is a replacement parent to accept that obligation so then you still have to pay and have no rights to be a part of your child's life one day if you change your mind, which it doesn't sound like that is what you want either.

My advice is both you and the mother need to be trying to do what is best for your child in the long run and not what is just best for the two of you right now. Your child needs a father, and if that can never be you, well then maybe you guys should consider other alternatives.

Answer 3

I agree with the people above. Step up and be a man/dad! You made the child, you have to deal with the consequences. Just because you are in debt, does not mean it is okay to walk out on your child. It seems to me that you are looking for the easy way out. Let me tell you, there isn't one! You must be a man and deal with the life you built.

So, start changing your life! Be more responsible day by day. Start paying child support - as much as you can. Show that you are making an effort and really make one! Get a job or two or three - whatever it takes. Stop partying so much. Go see the kid and see what you would be missing out on. Get into a support group for single dads. See what others think! You can find them through the courts or in the yellow pages.

Good luck and BUCK UP!

Answer 4

You have a very tough decision to make. No offense but not a lot of fathers would be willing to give up their child for adoption just to solve money problems. you need help and your child needs a father. Be there for your child and it may be there when you need it. You should never consider break ups before child that's wrong and very stupid.

Answer 5

There are many like you.....why don't you work.....don't your children mean anything to you? Why give them up just because of a bad breakup? Don't you have any love and responsibilities towards your own flesh and blood? Remember, if you are sincere, no matter what amount of debt you have, slowly you will be able to pay off if you get a job, renegotiate the repayment of your debts....be on time in keeping to your repayment and at the same time have something for you and your children.......don't stress yourself out....untie your life's complicated knots one by one.......