If you found porn on your fiance's computer?

Question

Whould you be mad... and what would you do?

I found it yesterday. It wasn't a lot and I never thought something like that would bug me. But it did for some reason.

I wasn't snooping on his computer. It's our computer that we bought together because we live together. I was looking for a song that I downloaded and stumbled upon Jenna Jameson instead.

Answer 1

Yes, and i bet you felt that you were the only woman in this whole wide world that mattered to someone too. We understand that. It is only human nature to feel that and to be with someone who appreciates you the way your b/f does.

Porn is something that all males are exposed to. It can be taken any number of ways too .

First off, it was probably something that he had long before he met you. In fact, most porn is. It could also be something that someone else put on the computer as well, such as a friend of his or a brother of his, etc. Helps not to jump to conclusions here either, because it might not be his fault at all.

Second, you have to keep in mind that he wants his fantasy life to become something important with you, and only you. It reminds him of what he likes and what he wants too.

Third, porn is something that couples will use and watch to keep their sex lives "fresh".... this might or might not seem apparent right now and all but eventually, you will see that as well. Maybe not. It is something that adds creativity to love making and that will help couples alot too.

Fourth, try not to take it personally or seriously. Porn is just fantasy. That's it. Nothing more. Be happy he is looking at women though....for his fantasy.

Answer 2

2

Answer 3

What kind of porn? If it's just a few videos and pictures, I wouldn't worry too much about it, as long as -

1) He doesn't have an unhealthy obsession with it (always on the computer using it) - which I doubt, because you would have known

2) It doesn't involve violence or children or homosexuality or anything else that you would question


Again, this depends on your personal feelings about porn. If it was me, and I just found some pictures and videos, I probably wouldn't do anything about it. I'm not trying to make excuses for your FI, my FI, or any other men, but I think it's not uncommon for the average male to download a few XXX videos off the internet from time to time.

If it was a huge porn library, and there was evidence of him using Adult Friend Finder or one of those webcam porn sites to interact directly with women - cybersex, etc., I would confront him, because in my opinion, that would be disrespectful to me as his fiancee.

Only you and your FI can decide what's acceptable in your relationship. So even if it's one picture, if it bothers you that much, it's worth talking to him about it.

Answer 4

i anticipate you recommend to men going at it and by no skill 2 women human beings in the gay porn. an rather good type of immediately men like gazing lesbians going at it as a turn on. i don't think of immediately men gazing guy on guy porn is the norm, inspite of the undeniable fact that it would want to be he's merely curious. If he's making you satisfied in mattress, does it truly count number on the end of the day?

Answer 5

Men like porn, it's natural. Atleast it's that, and not a live video of some stranger he talks to on the web, or anything of that sort that could cause concern of cheating.
Porn is just something to look at, nothing to be concerned about. My husband has some, that he takes with him, when he's away from home for a few months.

Answer 6

I would be mad, but at this point wouldn't have much "right" to be mad. You shouldn't be snooping.

But, now that you know, use that info to ask point blank if he uses porn to get off. See if he's an honest guy. (Hopefully he is!)

Then ask if he intends to keep using it in your married relationship. The sex bed should be between you two consenting and loving adults. Adding a computer screen to the equation adds another being - even if its in the mind.

It is good to go into this marriage with eyes wide open.

Answer 7

I like pornography. But my boyfriend has asked me to stop.
Ever listen to love line?
Well, a couple weeks ago, Dr. Drew said that men who look at porn are just satisfying thier curiosity.
I say, and am still trying to prove to my boyfriend, that if the man is getting off with you instead of the porn, there is no problem.

Answer 8

Best way is to be honest and open about your feelings on this subject to him and hear him out.

It is better for the two of you, to understand each other's stand on porn and to keep the channels open on this subject. Withholding it runs the risk of having it fester in your heart and leading to suspicions and potential fall-outs in the future.

I gave a similar answer sometime back - it was slightly different but you could find it relevant to your fears, it was to someone who found teenage porn on her fiance's computer...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AthZLo5nged3yTTw6JBaFavsy6IX?qid=20060614073723AAUaEzC

Answer 9

As a guy I'll let you in on something...it has nothing to do with you, honest. It is a guys thing sometimes to just look and enjoy it. It wont hurt anything, is innocent since hes not playing you, and its just something he likes to look at. Dont let it bother you...if it does just tell him where youre coming from and either he can stop it or hide it better :)

Answer 10

Nah.... My b/f found porn on my compuer and it opened doors....

But a lot of chicks aren't into porn....

It's just visual stimulation. It's kinda just fun to watch. Guys jack off when we're not around to help out and it's a lot easier to finish if you've got something to look at.