"Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me"?

Question

So why do I feel so bad when my mom calls me a fat pork slice?

Answer 1

no idea thunder thighs !! beats me !!

Answer 2

Verbal abuse can be much more damaging than physical abuse. A bruise heals.

I remember with shame every weight related remark made to me by my mother and some guys. It stays with you forever.

When I've not been overweight I've felt fat anyways. When I'm overweight I'm so ashamed I don't go out at all.

Before my mother died she said to me "you'll be so cute again WHEN you lose weight". It caused so much anxiety, like I can't be cute or liked if I'm overweight. I haven't lost the weight and it's a cause of major misery for me everyday.

Your mother is a hardcore abuser. She's defining you by your weight AS IF that's the only thing about you that matters..

Read some books on verbal abuse. If you're young, maybe you can fix the damage within yourself before it's too late.
Patricia Evans has a great book called "The Verbally Abusive Relationship". Will help you understand how cruel your mother is.
Don't let her pull you down if you can help it... read and learn.

Your mother isn't going to change, so you have to work on learning that your mother is a narcissist and to overlook the things she says. She's insecure, has no feelings of empathy or compassion for others, and these people can't be changed, but you can!!!

There's an online msn group called psychopaths and another called narcissists.
Both have many excellent online references and articles to help you.

Answer 3

Because Mothers are supposed to be more mature than that. The next time she says this to you, turn to her and in a very quiet tone say I am sorry you need to call me names in order to make yourself feel important and then do not wait for a reply just walk away. People who call other people names have a self esteem issue. It makes them feel powerful. They cut someone down or hurt their feelings to make themselves feel good. Unfortunately your MOM was probably treated this same way when she was young and it was accepted. Name calling is hurtful and you need to let your mother know it hurts your feelings when she does this. If she does care for you she will make a point to stop some people do it out of habit. You are a beautiful person inside and out and it only matter what you think of yourself. But it will get to you if you let it.

Answer 4

Because a mother is supposed to nurture and love you and hearing something like that is hurtful enough coming from anyone, so coming from your mother it makes it feel worse. Is she joking when she says it or is she being mean. If she is joking tell her you feel sensitive about her saying this to you. If she is mean then dont take it to heart, she is being spiteful and doesnt care about your feelings. Know that you reap what you sow. You are rewarded for the good but you are equally given what you deserve for being hurtful and doing bad. It will all come back to her and she will receive her "rewards" from all the hurt she has given you. Know that you are not a bad person, be strong.

"You are beautiful, no matter what they say, words cant bring you down"

Answer 5

Because it's your mom. She should use words of encouragement, not degrading words...she's your mother, the one woman in your life you've always looked up to. If she doesn't have anything positive to say, remove yourself from her company and surround yourself with people who can help your self-esteem, not break it down. Maybe she has insecurities of her own and it makes her feel better to put you down. I don't know, but whatever her reason, she's WRONG! You're beautiful, so don't worry about her petty words, that's all they are. You can choose to let her upset you, or next time she puts you down, simply tell her..."Mom, I'm sorry you feel that way, I love you anyway." Or tell her, "Jesus loves you." That one always seems to throw someone for a loop when they put you down for whatever reason...makes 'em stop and think about what they said.

Answer 6

Words can be sharper than swords and the wounds can last years. I know, because of what I endured growing up. I was an outcast at school, and never expected to be more than a failure. Most of this was because I believed what people called me. It was not until I was almost 30 that I learned to accept myself more and be happy with who I am. I now have friends that love and appreciate me. When they say something to me, I know it is because they care for me.

Answer 7

if your mom calls you a fat pork slice she should be ashamed of herself. i don't know what you weigh, but i'm bloody sure that calling you names is not gonna help you diet. words can hurt just asa much as sticks and stones, especially when they're spoken by someone close to you.

Answer 8

lol
because its your mom
what the saying means is if someone swears at you...or tries to degrade you...just leave it...dont retailiate because at the end of the day it wont take your life...
for eg if someone called me a ***** or somethin and i retaliated they may have some weapon on them that they could use and i may end up dead...so ignore the remarsk made by others...
moms will be moms...my mum calls me fat and black..though im `white`and not that fat at all...just a mommys thing to say no worries

Answer 9

First, because its your mother calling you this - and she is supposed to love
you without exception.

Secondly, because names can hurt if they have any ring of truth. That is,
you probably think you are overweight, so it just confirms your already
existing belief.

It will not, however, help you lose weight.

Since parents are we usually learn our eating habits from, she is
probably at least somewhat the cause of any eating problems you have.
You might tell her that insulting you won't fix anything. Perhaps preparing
more nutritious meals and getting more family exercise might.

Answer 10

Because she has engraved the words on a large pie of stone and then throws it at you for an insult. Words could really hurt then!

Seriously, verbal insults can cause long term damage, and a previous respondee has given some excellent advice.

Answer 11

This is so not true. The worst pain can be mental or emotional. This is just something parents teach kids to get them to stop crying about every little thing someone says.