My boyfriend and I have been living together since December and everything is going great. His twin sister has asked to stay with us until she got back on her feet and we told her OK. Well she has been living with us with her two children(aged 12 and 14) for the last 2 1/2 months. Her children dont clean, if they cook they leave a mess everywhere, they leave clothes scattered throughout our place. I have corrected them to help me out and so has my boyfriend, but his sister gets upset with us for doing so. We have asked them to do dishes, take out trash, pick up the front room, and things like that. I work full-time and so does my boyfriend. Is that too much to ask for them to do?
2006-08-15 03:20:05 · 10 answers · asked by Amy Renee 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Hell no! That would not be me. You guys are doing her a favor the least she can do is pick up after her messy kids. If that was me, I would sit down with them and establish some rules, and if she don't like them, she could find some where else to stay.
2006-08-15 04:38:29 · answer #1 · answered by Angie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not to much to ask teenagers to help out around the house. you guys should probably let her know that she is not teaching her kids to be responsible for themselves at all, she is only teaching them to be lazy. My 10 year old picks up after himself and my 1 year old throws his diaper away already with little encouragement. These kids are learning from their mother that they should be waited on hand and foot. Again this is how people learn to be lazy. What are they going to do when they get older, have a maid they can't afford because they are so lazy, they won't work.
OK, I went a little far there, but this is becoming a world of greed and non-respect because people are not teaching their children these basic things in life. you have every right to be frustrated. you should tell her that she has a time limit if her kids don't start to straighten up their act. good luck
blessed be.
2006-08-15 03:29:24 · answer #2 · answered by singitoutloudandclear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to tell his sister that if they are not going to help they need to leave. She is doing her children no favors by not making them do chores. They are going to grow up and be adults some day and not know how to fend for themselves. This is not something that automatically happens when a child turns 18. They have to be taught from an early age. My son just turned 2 on Thurs and he already knows how to start putting toys in the toy box, but at this point I don't make a huge point about it. He also has to pick up any food he throws on the floor and he is already learning to not do that.
2006-08-15 03:26:34 · answer #3 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"The RULES IN MY HOME even for "VISITORS" is CLEAN WHAT YOU MESS! If you do not want me whipping your butt then you better start learning to clean up after yourselves NOW! OR find another place to live!"
Plain and simple and have B/F OR HUBBY back YOU UP.
12 and 14 are OLD ENOUGH to clean up their own messes at least.
Show them ways to be more efficient.
Clean up after yourselves...too, before they came YOU did it right?
I suppose your B/F did not tell them up front that they are responsible for their messes?
He did not tell his sister she was to clean up after you two as PAYMENT for staying there did she?
HER daily JOB is to do all that she can to get on her feet.
She should have made contact with at least 4 possible job leads.
A DAY!
Have her list them on paper.
NAMES
PHONE NO#
ADDRESS
WHO SHE SPOKE TOO
AND OUTCOME OF THAT CALL
She must have at best ONE interview a day or no less than twice a week.
THAT IS HER JOB while staying there besides cleaning up HER messes.
EVERYONE CLEANS UP WHAT MESS THEY MAKE.
AS IT IS MADE.
While cooking a bowl gets used and cleaned.
There are two kids, one cleans and one prepares...
and the next meal switch...
ONCE a week have a FAMILY PREP AND CLEAN NIGHT...
MAKE something that everyone can join in making...like PIZZA!
AND then have a MOVIE!
Try to make the visitors feel as needed as possible...and self sufficient.
Validate how hard it is for them as well as you.
DO NOT NAG at I HAVE A JOB and therefore you must clean for me...she will be resentful for that.
Just have her see that EVERYONE CLEANS HIS/HER MESSES.
Whether they work or not.
They did not move in to make things harder, they moved in to get help and to help.
TEAM WORK in cleaning up goes smoother and faster...
then have a TEAM reward...
That is how it goes...in the REAL WORLD!
2006-08-15 03:46:59 · answer #4 · answered by Samuella SilverSelene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell their them that a least they have to clean what they mess up, and they have to do something 'cause their living in another persons house and they have to live by that persons rules, talk to their mom too, tell her that the house can't be messy and if the kids don't clean she's going to have to it.
2006-08-15 03:30:55 · answer #5 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is wat u do tell ur sister say this nicly make sure its a privite conversation say could u ppppllllllllllleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaassssssseeeee
talk some sense in to ur childen and ask them to clean up after them selves they act like 3
year olldes like they dont know how to clean up after them sevels and just please dont get mad
but i have to do most of the work after themand this is like ur house to
2006-08-15 03:48:55 · answer #6 · answered by jj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it is, they should help you out for giving them a place to stay...ungrateful little brats!
2006-08-15 03:31:48 · answer #7 · answered by Navi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bf needs to tell his sister either she needs to help or she is gone.
2006-08-15 03:35:34 · answer #8 · answered by Why must the squirrels watch me? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell the sister to do it her self or get out done
2006-08-15 03:24:28 · answer #9 · answered by grmilet 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, they should have to do SOMETHING to live there, especially because it isn't their mothers house.
2006-08-15 03:25:34 · answer #10 · answered by Colin C. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋