Why do people get so upset with the ex-gay movement?

Question

I don't understand where the anger is coming from. If someone doesn't want to be gay anymore, that is their choice, isn't it? Just like the gay people demand respect for their choices. I don't understand why they don't want anyone to change to being straight.

And what is this rant I keep hearing "there is no scientific evidence to prove that a person can stop being gay". Who needs scientific evidence? Isn't the opinion of the gay person who stops being gay only opinion that matters?

I understand the overwhelming urge some of you have to compare sexual orientation to race. But save that analogy for somebody who doesn't know better.

Answer 1

Isn't it amazing how homosexuals can make judgments on other people. But other people are not allowed to make a judgement of homosexuals.

As long as gays have been around so have ex-gays.

It is really simple. The ex-gay movement blows big holes in all the propaganda the gay community hurls at the public.

Anger is all they have left. When yet another one of their claims is proven false.

Answer 2

In the same way that electro-shock and frontal labotomy 'cures' for depression were wrong, so the ex-gay movement is wrong.

You may or may not remember the cult movements in the 70s that used brainwashing techniques to trap young people into their movements, and to keep them there. Ex-gay organizations are the same. Being gay is an inherent trait; it cannot be changed, although you can convince people to change their outward behavior.

The result is that a lot of gay men are trapped into marriages making both themselves and their wives unhappy, and affecting the upbringing of their children. This was the situation before the 80s when gay men finally found the courage to step forward and reveal their true selves.

So I am angry at the ex-gay movement for trying to push people back into the closet, creating untruthful marriages, and hurting kids in the inevitable breakups.

Noteable leaders of ex-gay movements have been caught over the years in gay affairs, or have been seen in gay bars - even these 'leaders' have not changed their nature, just their outward behavior. The ex-gay movement is a lie.

Answer 3

I suggest the poster of this question read the following article. It shows that most "the modern ex-gay movement has been broadly condemned by nearly all major psychological, psychiatric, and medical associations.Today, these associations point to a lack of scientific evidence suggesting that homosexuals can change their orientation and argue that homosexuals have no reason to do so aside from societal pressure. They say repressing those feelings would likely cause future psychological damage.[1] These assertions are vigorously disputed by those in the ex-gay movement."

Hmmm, these people can't all be wrong can they?

Answer 4

First of all, to help one make the transition from gay to straight requires a great deal of care by a licensed person. The "doctors" that are "helping" these poor souls aren't licensed physicians or psychologists but religious zealots who are pushing their own agenda.

You argument has validity, however, in that we should allow people to do what they wish. This is going to sound lame, but let's say you hate pizza. It makes you vomit. However, EVERYONE seems to love pizza, and you'd love to eat pizza with your friends so you'd seem more "normal." There is no way anyone is going to physically or chemically change your taste buds into liking pizza; they'll only trick you into responding as though you do enjoy. It just isn't real!

Finally, many ex-gays that come out of those programs end up leading pretty sad lives and wind up into some kind of "re-lapse" anyway. It's sad how religion has screwed up so many lives when it can be used for good purposes.

Answer 5

I'm not upset with the individual decision. I had to choose between my faith and my sexuality, too. I went with my sexuality and into another faith. Some people can go the other way. That's just fine. If I want that freedom for myself, I have to accept that others have it and may use it differently from me.

What does upset me is when it's used politically, for instance, to deny same-sex couples marriage rights. Just because some gays "can change" (and we don't really know that!), doesn't mean the rest of the LGBT community *should* try to change. Besides, religion is most definitely a changeable trait, and it is also a protected one. Should I therefore go around saying, "I left the Christian lifestyle, so there's hope for you, and you don't need civil rights protections?"

Answer 6

Sexual preference is not binary - as evidenced by bisexuals with varying tastes. If someone was bisexual, it should be possible for them to get more selective in the same way an ambidexterous person might decide to work more with one hand than another.

Whether this happens for their own reasons or because of external pressure does not change that people with only a partial commitment to something can appear to change their behaviour without changing their nature.

If a bisexual male can shift his taste toward different-sex, he could as easily shift more toward same-sex. Finding males (a few or many) who has apparently gone from preferring men to women really tells you nothing at all. They haven't been "cured" of anything, any more than someone who is artistic shifts from painting to sculpture has been "cured" of painting. How is this a movement, except in a political frame?

If a person is purely (and this is somewhat uncommon) hetro or purely homo, they are not going to change no matter how much time you want to waste on it.

Answer 7

Yo,
'Gay' isn't a choice... it's like saying I don't like the color of your skin or the color of your eyes or wishing that you didn't have 10 fingers. 'Being' gay is natural and you are born that way, just like hair color - you can hide the color of your hair just like you can 'hide' being gay and living with the desires. Just because sexuality comes with puberty and the feeling for the same sex doesn't mean that it can be changed...it can be hidden or masked but at what cost? There is no "choice", if you think so you are lying to yourself or you are terribly confused.

Answer 8

If you are the intended spouse of a person who has/had decided to pursue "anti-gay training", would you want to know this before-hand? How sure would you be that your intended could carry through with their commitment to be "straight"? Would you bet the happy life of your future family and lovely children? Can you imagine your feelings if it didn't work out? How about those of your children?

How selfish of religious counsel to assure you that if you just repressed your desires you could live a life for God. Isn't that nice of them to allow you to possibly ruin the lives of others in what they believe is just a "bad habit/addiction" that needs to be overcome. Lovely of them to take this risk with others' lives.

For cryin' out loud, a bad habit is McDonald's - and look how many people have success staying away from fast-food for that matter cigarettes, drugs, alcohol - fatty, greasy, carcinogenic, brain cell kiling, liver damaging, ultimately believed to be deadly items. With death a strong possibility, we still consume. Sexual preference, which most of the medical community believes we're born with, and people think the "anti-gay" community is actually curing people of this "bad habit". If that were the case, we'd have a whole lot more thin, drug-free, healthy people here in America - cause whatever they're doing to help these people could surely be modeled to cure all the other bad traits we Americans have.

And if you think that this works, think of it in reverse. You're a Man or Woman in love with a person of the opposite sex. How easy would it be for you to be "trained" to love those of the same sex?

If tomorrow, you woke up and you were magically transformed into a person of the opposite sex, but retained all of your memories from your previous self . . . who would you love?

That's an easy question for me - I'm a straight female, but if I woke up tomorrow as a man, I'd love men! I'm always amused by people who are appalled by this answer. Women who automatically answer, "women of course". Some people won't even answer the question, they just laugh - mostly straight guys.

-em

Answer 9

Part of the anger is because people are brain washed into believing they can choose not to be gay, although there is no physical or mental way to change your sexual preference. They are only giving the gay bashers more fuel to add to the fire in their anti-gay rhetoric

Answer 10

If someone wants to "stop being gay" then you're absolutely right. THAT IS THEIR CHOICE! However, I don't think that you can ever just "stop being gay". You can choose to be abstinate and alter your lifestyle. But in my opinion, those internal feelings will remain. You can bury them and throw a rug over it if you'd like but it's still there.