I just found out this morning that last night a close family friend walked outside to find her husband had hung himself off their deck. Not only were they a young couple with a brand new baby (she's not even 1 yet) they were very much in love, or at least they seemed to be. I know there were other issues in their marriage, but that's not the point.
The issue is that the detectives that are investigating the suicide found a note he wrote to his wife (my family-friend) but they won;t give it to her. It's been on my mind all morning. My question is, do you think it is better for her not to see the note he wrote to her? Or do notes like these provide closure? What would you do if something like this happened to you or your family (God forbid)? What reasons would the detectives have for not giving her the note?
These are just some things I've been thinking about this morning. I'm not really looking for a solution, just opinions. Thank you.
2006-08-15 02:24:49 · 21 answers · asked by Hypnotiq 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well there keeping the note because it's evidence.. once the case is closed they'll probably give it to her, if not then ask them can they at least provide her w/a copy of the note so that she may have closure.. tell her to let them know that she wants to know whats in the letter to see why her husband felt the need to take his own life..
if i were her i'd speak to a lawyer and obtain some legal actions to see what action she can take to get a copy of the letter..
but she just has to be ready to accept what's in the letter..
pray for ur friend and be by her side cause she's gonna need it..
2006-08-15 02:30:47 · answer #1 · answered by Queen D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they won't give her the note until they have ruled out that it was not murder. Once they do that they will give her the note. Yes, I would probably want to see the note and maybe it would give an answer or two, but no matter what your friend may not ever get the closure she seeks. Suicide leaves a great too many unanswered questions. I am sorry for they're loss.
2006-08-15 09:34:22 · answer #2 · answered by free2praise76 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The police probably won't give her the note until the case is closed. It could be used for evidence incase this is really not a suicide. If it is ruled a suicide they will probably give her the note. Normally those types of notes are written at a bad time. They are full of desperate crys for help. It is always sad when someone passes, but when someone loses someone to suicide it is very hard. I hope your friend will be ok.
2006-08-15 09:30:21 · answer #3 · answered by Wilma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly i think it would be better for her to see the note so she will at least hopefully know what caused him to do this and bring a little closure. i have no idea what i would do if something like this was to happen to me or my family. i have dealt with death but never suicide. and the detectives probably aren't giving her the note because they are probably calling it evidence and they aren't allowed to give evidence out or let others see it.
2006-08-15 09:35:14 · answer #4 · answered by babybro35 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will most likely get the letter once the detectives have finished their inquiries and close the death as a suicide. I don't know that the letter will give her closure of any kind....esp. if she wasn't aware of anything going on with her husband. (and people usually have no clue that someone is this far over the edge) She will most likely need to seek some therapy and if she isn't comfortable doing that, then let her know you are there for her anytime for anything.
2006-08-15 09:32:35 · answer #5 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They probably didn't show her the note because shes too upset at the moment and will give it to her when shes ready. Or else he wrote something really bad in the note and they think she wouldn't want to see it. Either way I think she must see it to provide closure. I'm so sorry for her loss.
2006-08-15 09:32:24 · answer #6 · answered by Ziggy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think i would want to see the note, so i could try and find out why he did it.. it might give me some kind of closure.. but it prob wouldn't help heaps... i have no idea why they woulda kept the note, unless they thought there was more to the death, like there was sumone else involved, or if they thought he didn't even write it
2006-08-15 09:29:54 · answer #7 · answered by cassycookie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will see the note at some point. There is really nothing that you can do except be there for her. Offer to watch the baby and just be available for her as she needs you, for talk, for quiet, for whatever. Suicide is an ugly thing as it punishes those left behind. I have nothing good to say about those that do this to their loved ones. It is the ultimate betrayal. Don't bad mouth him, just be there for her, she is going to need it. But, he obviously didn't deserve what he had or he wouldn't have hurt them the way that he did. He didn't even have the courtesy to shield her from finding his body. Selfish man.
2006-08-15 09:31:33 · answer #8 · answered by Chloe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can only imagine such a situation defines the word "Tragic", she needs to know what his final thoughts were, I think the police are hanging on to the note to make sure it was sent from him...just to assure there was no foul play and will give her the note eventually...I fill for the child who will sooner or later ask the question why did her dad do such a thing.
2006-08-15 09:53:10 · answer #9 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what I'd do. I'm not sure that seeing the note would bring closure, honestly if the detectives aren't going to let her see it they should not have told her that they found it.
I'm sure that it will play on her and your mind for a long time.
Personally if it happened to me I be wondering what the hell pushed him over the edge and what I had to do with it.
2006-08-15 09:33:41 · answer #10 · answered by bundamba 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋