I have been dating Evie for six years and we have been building toward a permanent arrangement. Last fall she started a job at the Post office. One day she left up on the screen a flirtitious letter to him that basically was hitting on him. I read it and exploded. She said it was just a joke. Soon after that she lied to me after I thought we had patched things up and went out to dinner with him still claiming it was only friendship. Again I exploded but we worked it out. One day he called while I was there and asked herand her son to come down and play in the playground close by. She jumped in the car and went. Then she didn't hear from him for months. Now she is trying to work at the post office again and they are in contact a lot. He calls her frequently. She says she has told him how seious we are but he continues to call and she continues to answer. He has called 8 times in the last two weeks. Am I nuts to stay in this and try working it out or am I over reacting. Please help me!!!
2006-08-15 02:20:01 · 14 answers · asked by willwayward 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I doubt that you want to hear this, but I would say give it up. If he keeps calling and she keeps answering and she jumps up and runs out the door when he asks her to, then there is more than just friendship there. At least that is what I would take is as if it way my relationship.
Best of luck at your decision making, I know that it is going to be hard.
2006-08-15 02:27:21 · answer #1 · answered by Robby's Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has a son? Is this your son too or is this another mans son? It sounds like Evie has a pattern of jumping into a new relationship every 6 to 8 years? She sounds like a happy dog running after a bone the second it's flaunted in her face!
You're going to have to sit her down and have a serious long talk with her to see where this relationship is going. If the phone rings and it's him again, answer it yourself and tell him," Look, I am having a serious discussion with "MY" girlfriend/fiancee. I would appreciate it if you would just back off." Don't let her have the phone and let her know that you are persistent to know where this relationship stands. You have that right! This is YOUR heart she tampering with!
If she starts to become confused when you ask her where you stand in this relationship, and if she says she doesn't know, then that is the first sign she is falling for this other guy and you need to be prepared for this.
Tell her that if she doesn't straighten up, you're leaving. And if she doesn't act like she even cares, then you'll know where her heart is and there will be nothing there to work out.
The fact that you have exploded a few times and have let her know that you are upset about her friendship with this other man and yet she still won't knock it off, is something to be concerned about.
2006-08-15 09:49:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, if you haven't married this woman yet after 6 years and are still "working toward a permanent arrangement", you don't have any claims on her. Now if you're engaged and you already popped the question, it's different. You need to dust off your balls, mister, and put your foot down. Don't "explode". Just be firm about "him or me". This is not innocent flirting/friendly behavior. They have a "thing" for each other. Be prepared to take the consequences if she chooses him. But, maybe she's waiting for you to be firm about it. Doesn't sound like she's thinking of anything permanent at this moment, does it? Good Luck, Dude.
2006-08-15 09:28:23 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not over-reacting, I'd like to say your un-reacting but when someone is so infatuated with another there isn't alot you can do to scare this guy off because it is she who keeps him hanging on...Evie is taking you for granted, she has become to comfortable with you to the point that her behavior with this guy is totally out of line yet she doesn't appear to think she is showing any disrespect to you and your relationship...she appears to be untrustworthy...she has lied about her involvement with this other guy...I would back out of this situation and save myself some heartache from her continued infatuation.
2006-08-15 09:29:48 · answer #4 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and tell her that she is going to have to make a choice. If it were harmless, then she would have told you about it when it first began-- Its obvious even though she told him you guys were serious she is entertaining some thoughts in her head about her and this other guy. I'm not saying that she is cheating--but the possibility is there esp. if she jumps and runs when he calls. If you think you can't trust her then you can't move on with her. You will always be second guessing everything she says to you.
2006-08-15 09:27:15 · answer #5 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for you dude, I think if I were in your place, It'd be like internal combustion for me! 6 years, wow, I dare not think of being with someone that much time. Maybe you should do something to make her lose interest in that annoyng dude.
Try http://doubleyourdating.com/, you shouldn't believe anything this dude says, but it has a point in some areas.
I wish you my best!!!
2006-08-15 09:29:22 · answer #6 · answered by Dan M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her know that ur not going to tolerate her running, phoning and communicating w/some other man that she has feelings for.. let her know that u and her have been dating for 6 yrs and that-that is ample time to decide what u want and who u want.. let her know if she wants to be w/the other guy then be a woman about and say so-so that u can cut ur losses and move on.. let her know that her lies, and being deceitful is causing strain on the relationship that u have..
don't be afraid to let her go if u have to.. but constant arguing and then forgiving and arguing and forgiving.. it's a cycle and u need to get off...
let her know, good luck
2006-08-15 09:27:11 · answer #7 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she likes the guy. Why don't you have a heart-to-heart talk to her or something. My reaction was like, "What the heck kind of girl is this?" and yeah, I don't think there's "magic" in your relationship if ever she's cheating. I mean, what do you think? She spends much time looking for that guy and communicating with him, in front of you!
Gosh, that just... sucks. I wish you good luck, just talk to her.
2006-08-15 09:28:16 · answer #8 · answered by annyhc821 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're nuts. She's showing you no respect at all. Actions speak louder than words. For whatever reason, she won't let this guy go. It's time you let her go and find someone worthy of you.
2006-08-15 09:24:51 · answer #9 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wasting your time with this girl. She obviously is not serious about you or your relationship.
2006-08-15 09:30:28 · answer #10 · answered by MsLysa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋