My husband had a bad childhood and i think it affects the person he is today ..every few months he gets depressed and distances himself from me ..I started to think he didnt love me anymore so i confronted him on it and he got angry ..Im thinking he is living in the past ..he wontt alk to me so i dunno how to help him any ideas..can anyone relate? what do i need to do as his wife ??
2006-08-15 02:14:13 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Jam pencils up his butt.
2006-08-15 02:17:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can relate. Before I meet my husband I was living in the past. I would always think of my childhood and feel sad. My husband has shown me that not to live in the past. It's the future that matters. Al thought there are a lot of emotional scars. Just last night I was telling my husband about how my dad was when I was little. My sister and I could tell millions of story's. My older sister got the worse end of it. However, I have learned to look past it. I have my own kids now. I know what kind of mom I want to be to them. The best I can be! Just listen to him! That is the best thing that you can do. Hopefully, if you have kids ur husband is a good parent. Remind him how much you love him often. If it bothers you still go talk to a counselor. You don't want him drifting away from you. I hope this helps...
2006-08-15 09:29:45 · answer #2 · answered by LeeLynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The book "Toxic Parents" is very helpful in showing a person that their childhood was out of their control as a child, and no fault of their own. Help your husband realize that he alone chooses what kind of person he wants to be today... he can use his childhood as a source of strength to reach his potential, or as an excuse for not living up to potential... it's his choice.
No better revenge than becomming the person your abusers could never be...
2006-08-15 09:27:55 · answer #3 · answered by mama_bears_den 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try hypnotism. Most people think being hypnotized means doing things they wouldn't do otherwise. That's not true. Hypnotism can also help the person go back into his/her past and see exactly what's bugging him/her. Ever heard of people who claimed to have remembered their past life after a session? It's practicaly that except your husband wont be remembering his past life but his 'now' life a few years ago.
Sessions are usually expensive but if you want another option you can always see a psychologist.
P.S...you don't have to have mental problems to see a psychologist. Hope you don't have any preconceited ideas against them! Haha!
2006-08-15 09:28:15 · answer #4 · answered by Stiggs! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try to show him that you love. Show him that he will always have you to lean on when he needs a shoulder. Eventually, he will open up to you when he feels ready to. Until then, there's nothing you can do but love him and care for him. The only ones who can pull people out of the past are themselves. If you make him take therapy or try to force him to snap out of it, then it just might distance him from you. But if worse comes to worst and people are already starting to get hurt with his behavior then it might be time for you to take matters into your own hands. Good luck!
2006-08-15 09:29:34 · answer #5 · answered by Mujareh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Point out some positive outcomes that have occurred as a result of lessons learned from having been abused as a child. I wonder what he thinks he is going to change by dwelling on the past.
2006-08-15 09:21:47 · answer #6 · answered by Madeamove 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this may not help. But I sort of know what you mean here. what I would do is be patient and understanding, he has to figure things out, it may take time, just give him the space and time he needs, if he gets no better after a reasonable time, then I would calmly and lovingly speak to him about seeing someone to help him put things into perspective.
Good luck to the both of you.
2006-08-15 09:35:56 · answer #7 · answered by RAINBOW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to seek professional advise councilling to help him deal with his child hood dilemmas. He will end up very depressed and could become violent if he doesnt deal with things an let them go. Tell him his depressed state concerns you and that your are there for him if he wants to talk.
2006-08-15 09:19:30 · answer #8 · answered by a mother 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THEY FIRST NEED TO RECOGNIZE THE PROBLEM BEFORE THEY CAN FIX IT. MY HUSBAND USED TO BE VERY VERY ANGRY ABOUT HIS CHILDHOOD AND HIS ABANDONMENT ISSUES. I ASKED HIM TO TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHAT WAS MAKING HIM SO ANGRY AND TRY AND FIX IT. HE STARTED WATCHING DR. PHIL, AND OPRAH, GOT IN TOUCH WITH HIS FEELINGS AND NOW 21/2 YRS LATER HE WALKS WITH A BOUNCE IN HIS STEP AND HAS LESS AND LESS ANGRY OUTBURSTS. HE ALSO KNOW LONGER TALKS TO HIS PARENTS WHOM ABANDONED HIM AND ABUSED HIM. THEY USED HIM AS A TOOL FOR THEIR DYSFUNCTIONAL LIVES, AS DO MANY PARENTS WHEN GETTING DIVORCED. JUST BE THERE FOR HIM AND SUPPORT HIM, IT WAS A LONG HARD ROAD, BUT WELL WORTH IT. WE COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.
2006-08-15 09:53:37 · answer #9 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get him some therapy! He needs it and you will need it too unless you want a divorce.
2006-08-15 09:18:22 · answer #10 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋