how can i better myself so my husband will be faithful?

Answer 1

Better your husband.

If your husband is unable to remain faithful to you, it's likely his issue and not yours. I'm guessing you made vows to be faithful to each other, and he should keep that in mind. If he is the type to be unfaithful now, then he'll be unfaithful when you have "bettered" yourself.

That being said, a relationship is a two-way street. You may lose him if one of you changes dramatically in personality. Communication is the key. If you become something he doesn't like, he should tell you. Then you can decide if the new path is worth pursuing.

There is no real right answer to this because we don't know you. We don't know what your husband is like and what would make him unfaithful. But if this concerns you, then you need to talk with him. Get everything out in the open and decide what to do. You obviously want him to be faithful, and if there is a chance he'll change, you should discuss this so you can head it off.

Answer 2

This is one of those classic questions. Look, the basic premise here is this, do the two of you belong together? The resounding answer to this question is quite definitely NO. Frankly, I think you knew this when you asked this question.

Look, fidelity and being honest with each other is the corner stone to a loving and lasting marriage. Obviously he is not going to provide this. You asked about improving yourself so he will be faithful, honey even super models and celebrities get cheated on. I don't think there is anything you can do that is going to make him want to be faithful to you except he make it up in his own mind he is now going to suddenly do the right thing after all of this time of not doing the right thing.

If you want to better yourself, these are the steps you should take, in my humble opinion:

1. Tell your husband up front, he is gone.
(don't flinch, give in, or compromise on this one. This is for your emotional as well as mental well being)

2. Leave your husband, and file for divorce.

3. Take the time you need to mend your broken heart, because this will be hard for you. Even though he has acted like a complete *** with you, I acknowledge you still love him and what I am saying is going to be easier said than done.

4. Once your heart has mended, and after your divorce is final, go on with your life. Find someone who will love you for who you are, and will keep his promises and vows to you. You deserve this and can do this. Don't let anyone tell you any different, including yourself.

Lots of prayers for you.

Answer 3

It all begins with communication.

Begin an open, non-threating, non-judgemental conversation with your husband and find out what he wants. Keep away from finger pointing and have an open mind. Be open to all fantasies he may have. If wants you to wear a batgirl suit, telling then whether you can do that or not. But do not tell him that his fantasy is wierd or sick. Just a simple thats interesting, but I am not sure if I can do that will do. There is something missing and to find out what it is you have to be willing to listen and decide what boundries you have and whether you can lower some of them or not.

What happens between consenting adults in the bedroom should always be fun and enjoyable. The bedroom is not just a place to sleep and "make love". Sometimes you just got to be wild!

I wanted to add one more thing. A lot depends on your relationship to him. I have been married 20 years. Been close to divorce at least 4 times. There is no perfect marriage, the two of you have to decide how you want to proceed. You also have to decide that if you and he can have this conversation, can you let the indescretions go. You cannot come up at a later date and throw them in his face again, because then he will not open up to you again if you do.

I wish you the best in your endeavor. Just the fact that your asking in an open forum shows that your wanting to try. That is the first step.

Answer 4

You can't fix HIS problem. If he isn't faithful, it's not YOUR problem. Unless you are a total loser that abuses him, there is nothing you can do. And even if you were, he should get a divorce if he is that unhappy. In other words, don't try and fix a problem that you cannot control. With all the ups and downs of a 27 yr marriage, I know my husband would not be unfaithful just because he was annoyed, mad, or whatever at me. If he can't control his penis, move on. You don't need this in your life. You deserve a man who takes the good with the bad and doesn't blame you for his inability to control his penis. You don't deserve whatever he is blaming on you I'm sure.

Answer 5

You shouldnt have to change yourself your husband accepted you for what you are when he married you. Hes the one that should change his ways your better off without a dirty rat like him . He will never stop being unfaithful you are fulling your self.Dont change for someone that shows you no respect, you can find some one that will love you and be faithful to you because you will be the only one he wants.

Answer 6

marriage is a two way street. How do you know it's you? But if you think you do, here is some advice that MIGHT apply.

1. Lose weight (men and women) to where you were when you first met.
2. where sexier clothes around the house.
3. Leave love notes for him, but make them very erotic.
4. ask him what it is he enjoys in the bedroom. If not too perverse, why not?
5. Be presentable. Husbands and wives both let their grooming go when married for awhile.

Answer 7

What you need to do is stop putting it on yourself. You husband has made a choice to cheat and you have nothing to do with that at all. That is a mistake that so many woman make is internalizing it and thinking it was something they did. Men will even tell them that it was their fault but it is not. It was your husbands choice so get it out of your head that there is anything you could have done. When men have an opportunity they cheat!!! That goes for any man!!!.

Answer 8

it's not about bettering ur self, ur husband should be faithful based on his vows 2 u. u can't make someone be faithful sounds like u just need to get u guys some counseling.

Answer 9

u can't.. 1st thing u need to realize is that he is the cause of the problem not u.. u need to have a sit down w/him and have him put all his cards on the table.. ask him why he's cheating? ask him if ur marriage means anything to him since u both took oaths/vows?? ask him does he care about these women that he's cheating with? ask him if he's been using protection? ask him does he care that he might bring home something (std)? ask him if his family matters (ur family if u have children)? ask him does he want a divorce?

r u scared to leave him? do u think u need him? do u feel as though ur the problem and that's why he's cheating? don't blame urself because he's the one ruining ur marriage not u..

if he wants to work things out send him to a marriage counselor..

u have to take charge and let him know that ur not going to tolerate this type of behavior because it's selfish and destructive... let him know that if he wants to continue to be promiscous then ur going to leave his a s s...

Answer 10

I agree with all the other answers.

But he hasn't been unfaithful yet, and it's just a case of 'sprusing' up yourself for him, without being a doormat, you can do little things i.e. look lovely for him, have your hair done, don't let yourself go, smell of perfume sometimes, cook nice meals for you both.

As a Wife there are somethings one should do. But like I say, don't be treated as a doormat. And if he wants to go, let him go, and keep the key!