MY PARENTS WERE MARRIED FOR 24 YEARS AND THEY JUST GOT A DIVORCE IN DECEMBER. I FEEL LIKE I GOT THE SHITTY END OF THE DEAL. THEY BOTH BAD MOUTH EACH OTHER AND IT PISSES ME OFF. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
2006-08-15 01:57:48 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You did get the shitty end of it. Tell them not to say those things around you. They will stop. Sorry for you. Take care
2006-08-15 02:01:57 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing you can do is tell them you don't want to listen to them run each other down, since they are both still your parents and you still care about them, whether they are married to each other or not. Then, maybe you should consider getting some counseling. I went through my parent's divorcing when I was 19, and I wish someone had suggested that to me at the time. You are probably feeling bad about the entire thing, not just the way they talk about each other. It's not a lot of fun for the kids--but it also isn't much fun to have your marriage end. Counseling would help you understand your own feelings better, and also the way your parents feel. Remember at all times that this isn't your fault, and you can't fix it for them. You can make it okay for yourself though. Good luck.
2006-08-15 09:28:44 · answer #2 · answered by homebuyer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK...maybe you did get the shitty end of the deal...and divorce sucks. But...though it will be hard to do...remember that this divorce...or their bad mouthing is not directed or a result of you...but of their own insecurities and inability to communicate. I was the child of divorced parents...and was then divorced myself with two kids. Keep your mind on things that you can help and change...and be positive. Smile...even when you want to cry...and find someone to talk to. My motto..."Don't ask someone how they are unless you care enough to hear and repond to their answer."
2006-08-15 09:07:01 · answer #3 · answered by Chris 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my parents got divorced when i was 3, they were married for 12 years but now they hate the other ones guts. i think that if ethier one of your parents have an alcahol problem it may be a problem. im 17 so i still live with my mom but she wont let me drive over to see him. it depends on how old you are. if you live by your self than you can see both of them when ever you want. if you still live with one of them then just ask if you can see the other one more. what ever you do DO NOT talk to them about getting back together, that makes them SUPER angry. sit down with both of them and ask them to stop shouting at each other. if you do that make sure that you do it with both of them at the same time not one at once. then they'l call the other one bad mouth names.
2006-08-15 09:16:14 · answer #4 · answered by sadiebellewaring 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so commmon. Divorce parents always use the kids as a sounding board.
Tell them they are hurting you big time, more then they realize.
They will continue of course, but tell them to use someone else as a sounding board to let go of their anger, not you.
And especially tell them not to even try to persuade you to look at either one of them as being the right one, because you can't and you won't take sides.
Write it down. Because at the time they are beefing about each other, they won't TRULY hear your pain. But when they have a quiet moment, your letter will have a great impact on them.
Continue to write to them, if they continue to include you in their anger.
2006-08-15 09:08:08 · answer #5 · answered by sweetcitywoman2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feel sorry for them and for yourself. Then consider getting therapy and recommending it for both of them. Its a horrible situation, no matter how old you are, but as an adult, you need to distance yourself from their spats.
In the short term, I would recommend telling the next parent who bad-mouths the other that you simply do NOT want to listen to it, and you do NOT want to be involved in their quarrels. If they insist on continuing, either hang up the phone or walk away (depending on your situation).
2006-08-15 09:03:45 · answer #6 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask them not to include you in discussions about each other. Tell each of them that you love them BOTH and it hurts when they speak badly of each other in front of you.
2006-08-15 09:01:54 · answer #7 · answered by Avid 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pretend you're deaf? act like nothings wrong? write a letter to them? etc. oh maybe you can shout at them n tell them what u feel? hm.... Not care?
2006-08-15 09:04:19 · answer #8 · answered by just_another_gal7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Refuse to talk to them if they're talking about the other parent. You're their kid, not their friend.
2006-08-15 09:02:06 · answer #9 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should shut you stinking mouth
2006-08-15 09:05:21 · answer #10 · answered by nomad_of_gor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋