Love marriage/Arranged marriage?

Question

explain your answer

Answer 1

love marriage-- a marriage is hard to deal with. I can't imagine what one would be like w/o love.

Answer 2

Marriage is the most important decision in any person's life.

In arranged marriages, the boy and girl hardly meet a couple of times before they decide to get married! Logically, people marry a particular individual because they notice certain traits in that person which are important to them; traits which they do not find in other guys/girls whom they know. In other words, we all look for certain qualities in our would-be spouse. Each of us has a secret IDEAL in our heart.

Most people who enter into arranged marriages are very traditional people – they are brought up with the belief that parents know best, and are encouraged to follow all traditions dutifully without asking questions. No wonder then that so many such people, despite being in severely mismatched alliances, don’t opt for a divorce, simply because they don't wish to go against our society's traditions

Another strange facet is that, on the one hand, we hear the younger generation complaining about a ‘generation gap’ (meaning that their parents see things quite differently from the way they do, and that they don’t really understand each other very well), and yet, on the other hand, when it comes to finding a spouse, the same kids have no qualms about leaving the decision-making process to their elders

I also dislike the arranged marriage system because it embodies the concept of “an appropriate time for marriage”. Many girls are discouraged from pursuing higher studies or careers on the premise that their “marriageable age” will then pass off and they will find it difficult to find a good match later.

Another point to ponder is that for an arranged marriage, usually only a person from the same community, caste or religion is considered. I feel this is also wrong. Who says that only a Brahmin can keep a Brahmin happy, or that only a Punjabi can keep a Punjabi happy and not a Gujarati?

----BUT----
In India, Love marriage works best ONLY if you have your parent’s blessings with you, otherwise not…. coz if things ever go wrong, you may not find parental support or sympathy that easily or lovingly. When love marriage fails, you can blame only yourself and when arranged marriage fails the parents feel responsible and try to help wholeheartedly

PERHAPS THERE SHOULD BE A MIDDLE WAY..... PARENTS SHOULD INTRODUCE THEIR CHOICE AND LET THEM GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER A BIT.... AND LET THE FINAL DECISION REMAIN WITH THEIR CHILDREN

Answer 3

I often wondered it myself ... I wondered if I never met my husband till my wedding day I wondered if it would be exciting .... to have learned all about this man during our marriage instead of knowing all his habits befor hand.. I wondered if I would have grown to love him instead of during our marriage growing to despise him. I think that if it was an aranged marriage all the years we were just together we could have ben married and It might have made a differacne in how we deal with things ..... I also think that if any one does ever have an arranged marriage it is the parents responsiability to make sure that the children are genitaly compability, intulektuly compability, and both have something in comman so they can disscuse something to break the ice .... I how ever don't think intamisy should be forced upon even though they are married they should have at least that first year (after all it is the honeymoon year) to get to that point so if nothing ever happens that first year the marriage could be nule and void however if the guy forces the issue the girl should idmitly go to her folks the next day if not right after and inform them them it was not mutial and the guys party is to reproduse the girls dowery and they BOTH have to wait like 5 years or so before being elidigibil for marriage again for the guy is because he forced the issue .. he needs to learn to stay calm and have patients for the girl to heal from the experiance and to have time to want to get married again makeing sure she also takes a morning after pill for protection and cutting all ties Just my thoughts.....enjoy

Answer 4

arranged marriages r not common in western culture and a lot of people will not understand what's that at all.
personally, I think both kinds of marriages may work and may fail. u can never predict or say which is better. but at least some attraction and mutual respect should be there even between people whose marriage is arranged.

Answer 5

Marriage is hard enough with love, I can not imagine what it would be like if it was arranged.

Answer 6

I am not a fan of love in marriage. Think about it. Remember how you defined love when you were five, then when you were ten, etc. People's definition and understanding of love changes over time, so marrying for love is foolish because one day you will wake up no longer in love.

Answer 7

Actually, the idea of love being a prerequisite for marriage is a relatively new idea, historically speaking.

But I still think it makes for the best kind of relationship. One where you grow together because you want to- not because you have no other option.

Answer 8

personally? Love marraige all the way.....why would i want to be with someone i barely knew, much less didnt love, where is the sense in that.....step into the 21st century my friend arrainged marraiges just arent the go anymore....ask any young person from your own country, whether THEY would marry for love or honour to the family, whereas some would still agree to honour....the majority would still choose love. Thats why there are so many badly ended relationships in those places now, people want their romantic freedom, and deserve it.

Answer 9

No guarantees that either would work out. 50% divorce rate in the US? I don't think one beats out the other. It depends on how the 2 feel about each other in the beginning and how it ends up.

Answer 10

well in my religion i have to arrange marriage.