33 yr old Married man. Blessed with 2 cute daughters.
I work in a different country and my family is back home for sometime.
Since I stay all alone in my flat, I felt the touch of loneliness. To my surprise I met
my x GF here last week , even she was surprised, As soon as I saw her i
Forgot all her past mistakes and for a moment I thought I am lucky to get
her here this time.Today morning I went to visit her for 5 minutes, ….she say she still loves me. I did not respond….I m getting tempted and may fall for her again and end in bed and then regret…I don’t want that to happen, Please I beg u all to give me some serious tips to divert from temptations. I am trying to stay away from her…but I can’t. She had cheated me before in our relation, irrespective of knowing that I am married, she still have feelings for me, …My family can join me only after 2 months. How do I control myself? I tried masturbating to kill my desire and to stay away, not helping…..
confused and I hate myself now….I am very sensitive, emotional and also have high urge for sex. Can I go for medical to control my sex hormones? I am doing very well in my life apart from these temptations.
2006-08-15 00:58:16 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to find a therapist until your family gets there. Don't forget whatever you do, that she cheated on you before, and remember how that felt. Do you want to do that to your wife? If you love your wife, dwell on that. Call her, write her, look at pictures of your family. Do whatever it takes to stay away from your ex girlfriend. I promise it will work out for you if you take this advise.
2006-08-15 01:04:18 · answer #1 · answered by angel23amy 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the other answerers as far as cheating being wrong and all that sort of thing, but one thing I think that needs to be emphasized here is DIVERSION. If you had your family there you wouldn't have even thought twice about this other woman, but now that you're lonely (and probably more than a little bored) temptation has not only snuck up on you, but grabbed you by the throat. Run! I'm not kidding. If at all possible, spend your evenings out in the open air, getting lots of exercise and seeing all the sights of the country you are living in. Find a nice club to treat yourself to a drink every now and then. Find a local church with a men's group that will help encourage you and hold you accountable. Go fishing! Mingle with the populace. Distract yourself from the temptation at hand. You'll be glad you did. Best of luck to you. :)
2006-08-15 01:49:09 · answer #2 · answered by runninggirl23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep in mind that if you do anything with her, you will ruin your life and the lives of your wife and children. Obviously the relationship did not work for a reason, don't risk losing everything you have to fulfill your need for sex. Your family will be there in 2 months, a very short time to wait. If you love your wife and children, you will stay away from her. You are a grown man who can control himself, but only if you really want to keep your family. Think about it, if you did something with her and your wife found out, which she will, do you really want to hurt your wife, break her heart, hurt your children, and possibly ruin your marriage? Do you remember how you felt when your x cheated on you? Imagine making your wife feel the same, only 100 times worse, you are her husband, father of her girls, she trusts you. Do the right thing and break all contact with your x, don't visit her, call her, email her, sms her, nothing.
2006-08-15 01:08:49 · answer #3 · answered by UmmFaisal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go talk to a therapist its better than a divorce attorney who is sucking you dry for support, alimony and what ever else your current wife will want if she decides to divorce you if she finds out. 2 months is not a long time. If this 2x Ho had feelings for you she obviously wouldn't of cheated on you back when you 2 were dating. Now you have a loving wife and 2 beautiful kids are they worth throwing away because you have low impulse control. When ever you get these urges pull out a picture of your wife and kids ( I don't mean wack off to pictures of your kids either ) Use these pictures to remind you that you have a loving family not worth throwing away for a piece of 2x trash. Once you go down that road you will never be the same dependible person your family has come to rely on. ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER--IN RETROSPECT THIS X IS PROBABLY IN BETWEEN RELATIONSHIPS AND JUST WANTS TO USE YOU AGAIN. SO BEWARE YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. GOOD LUCK
2006-08-15 01:23:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bible says..."Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil" . The devil ruin marriages. You have satin in your heart. This is a bad thing. Cheating on your family is a bad thing as you are not only cheating on your wife you will be cheating on your kids. They deserve a dad who's loyal to the family. Can you ever look into those precious little eyes knowing you cheated on their mom and feel great about yourself? One mistake with this woman will change the course of the rest of your life. Are you ready for the consequences of a one night stand. That is probably what it;s going to be and maybe you wouldn't be able to perform feeling guilty that you're f*cking up your wife and family well. Too many marriages break up when a spouse think with the wrong head. And it doesn't matter what kind of job you have or how much power you have. Even Presidents were caught cheating. Clinton thought with his second head and it ruined a great marriage. Say goodbye to this woman. She isn't worth the heartaches for your family in the future. Don't let satan into your marriage. Be stronger than he is. Don't let temptation send you to hell. Does this woman know you are married? If she does and still want to persue you, she is the daughter of satan and you must turn away from her gates. Get help. Find a church. Make a confession, call your wife when you get these urges, but please, and I beg of you as a woman and a wife with four beautiful children who has all the faith in the world that her husband would never let satan into our marriage. DO NOT DO THIS TO YOUR FAMILY. YOUR WIFE, YOUR KIDS, YOUR LIFE!!!!!!
2006-08-15 01:23:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
O.K. Here is my opinion on this matter. After being away from your wife, any man would probably be able to forget the past and, and forget all the ex girlfriends past mistakes. Just remember the only reason you are forgetting them, is because you are so lonely. If she cheated on you in the past, trust me, Im sure you couldnt make any kind of life with her know....That is the reason they call them Ex's. 2Months is really not that long, compared to the lifetime you will get to spend with your wife, if you are faithful. Your ex, is probably the type that will most definately find a way to let your wife know, after you sleep with her, if you do. Dont do it, its really not worth it. You could lose your wife and children over it, think of them first. Tell ex, you are happy in your marriage and stay away.
2006-08-15 02:03:12 · answer #6 · answered by ~Annette~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, let's go this way with it....Your wife might be having the same urges since you aren't there to satisfy her. Now, how does that make you feel? Well, every time you get around this girl then just think about your wife doing this to you....I think you will think twice before you sleep with the ex. The urge to have sex is not worth throwing away everything you have with your family. Also, you know this girl doesn't love you....she is only using you for sex and that is it. Your wife truly loves and trusts you. Don't blow that for a one night stand.
2006-08-15 01:18:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Temptation, Lust and Loneliness are very "POWERFUL" emotions.
However, so are Faith, Love and Grace.
And ALWAYS remember, my friend there is NO food like SOUL FOOD:
READ These Lyrics from a song by Mary, Mary:
I had enough heartache and enough headaches
I've had so many ups and downs
Don't know how much more I can take
See I decided that i cried my last tear yesterday
Either I'm going to trust you or I may as well walk away
'cause stressing don't make it better
Don't make it better, no way
See I decided that I cried my last tear yesterday
Yesterday, I decided to put my trust in you
Yesterday, I realized that you will being me through
There ain't nothing to hard for my GOD, no
Any problems that I have
He's greater than them all, so
I decided that I cried my last tear yesterday
"Yesterday" by Mary Mary
2006-08-15 01:38:02 · answer #8 · answered by ccingram19608 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are 33 years old and have two beautiful daughters, this plus having a wonderful wife waiting for you and two months time - what on earth is making it so hard for you to remain faithful to your wife an family ? This ex - girl friend showed you her true colors by being unfasithful to you during your time together before - what makes you think this will be different this time . She is already showing your her lack of feelings by trying to steal your effections from your wonderful family - . Think of the distress it will bring to your children , it will put a wound upon them that will last forever and effect their relationship with you . How much do you have to lose to see the foolishness of this flirtation with an old girlfriend .
Please don't do it - it will haunt you the rest of your life . ... suffer whatever you have to to make it through the next two months - till your family join you .... God Bless you ...
2006-08-15 01:20:53 · answer #9 · answered by newkirkb52 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to pray and you need to pray hard for strength to not go there. You sound like you love your wife and family and are just paralyzed by lonliness. Everytime you think about that woman, call your wife and kids and talk to them.
Maybe you should share your feelings with your wife as that would hold you more accountable for your actions if she knows your Jezebel ex girlfriend is lurking around. Speaking of "her", if she cheated on you once, she is only going to destroy your life if you let her back in and a family and two children is too much too lose over an "ex".
Your wife my be willing to have some kinky talk with you over the phone or send you some sexy pictures (if you allow that) to take the edge off. Share this with her so she can help you through it.
Trust me if you stay prayerful and communicate more with your family, they will be with you in no time and those feelings will go away.
2006-08-15 01:06:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
While it will be very hard to battle the temptations, please do resist the urge to act on them. Do other activities so that you will not spend time with the ex girlfriend nor masturbate. You should not see her any more. It is difficult now, but your family needs you. You should remain pure for your own self-respect and because God wants you to be faithful to your wife. You will then be able to look back with greater satisfaction than if you give in to these understandable but wrong wishes. Ask God to help you. He has helped me a lot in a similar matter, although it still feels tempting.
2006-08-15 01:08:58 · answer #11 · answered by catintrepid 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋