A Religious Counsellor Is Trying To Figure Out Why I Am Only Attracted To Guys. Which Sound Believable To You?

Question

1) No parents in my life, my father ran out before I was a year old, and my mother died when I four.
2) Almost raped when I was thirteen years old.
3) First kiss, when I was fifteen years old, on a dare, was with a bisexual guy.
4) Tried Drugs (only tried didn't like) when I was sixteen, and it messed up my thinking.

I am seventeen right now, I have been attracted to guys since I was twelve years old...

Answer 1

At 17, your a young man. Why would anyone think you need a counselor, or to try to 'figure' you out. You do not have to answer to him. I am a reverend, that pisses me off when I hear how 'religious' people are trying to figure out what is wrong with you.

They should ask what is wrong with their religion? God made us how he wanted us, no shame in being who you are. One day you will realize, you never have to answer to people about who you are inside. Be yourself. Don't let people screw with your head and make you think it is wrong to be you.

** Tell him because you were genetically predisposed to being attracted to the same gender, just how god made you. tell him He should focus on some real issues, like why do some religions not love unconditionally, why are some so hateful and judgmental.

Damn I wish I had this guys name, the same people who are preaching hatred about sexuality- a human condition and natural thing are probably at sex shops getting their kicks. Oh and if you haven't guessed I am not a cookie cutter reverend.

No wonder people resent religion today, man just be yourself and get the hell away from that nut job. If you like guys then so what. At least your being honest and real. That's more than I can say for some of those hypocrites. Get away from him, there is nothing wrong with you and no need to seek his counsel.

OH and for Martin, the 'Biblical' counsel who posted, you say studies show 80 percent of gay men had become that way because of molestation?? No wonder your hair is brown, your full of crap. Lord knows you probably had your hands down a kids pants mr counselor- another nutjob religious counselor imposing your views on gays and twisting it into a molestation thing. It is Frickin GENETIC !! Kinda like your brown hair, or is that from a bottle?

Again, I submit to you, there is no need to go to counseling, get around your peers, God loves you as you are. Stay away from nutty counselors pushing religious beliefs under the guise of counseling.

- Rev. Steve

Answer 2

The first thing to realise is that your situation has got absolutely nothing to do with religion in any shape or form, so why is a religious counsellor involved at all?
If you're attracted to guys, then good luck to you. It's not against the law (actually, in your case it IS until you reach the age of eighteen!) but go out and enjoy yourself. Enjoy your life and don't get caught up in this religious nonsense. You've already tried and found you don't like drugs - well done. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Ignore advice and comments from people like the one who got in first (above)with an insulting remark (it wasn't an answer!) - you'll soon learn to treat pratts like that with the utter and absolute contempt they deserve, and, so long as you carry on living sensibly, the missing parents have little bearing on the subject, sad as the circumstances were. You didn't ACTUALLY get raped, and you know what it's like to kiss a bloke. I'd say you're well set up to become a happy gay. The only real bit of advice you should heed is the usual one - ALWAYS have safe sex.
Now wait until your eighteenth birthday, then that night you can not only get legally pissed but you can get laid as well! Have a great time! Just don't be in too much of a hurry to settle down with the first bloke you fancy. Spend some time "spreading it around" (!) before you settle down.
Good Luck to you. Enjoy your life. You've got everything to live for.

Answer 3

None of them are reason for attraction to men . You are attracted to men because you were born gay . No one chooses their sexual attraction to one sex or the other . If we could choose most would choose to be heterosexual , It would be easier not to be diffrent or not the norm . It would be nice to say that when we were younger we had some traumatic experience that caused us to become interested in men . That is just not the case . John Hopkins medical center did a study on gay men and women and interviewed well over 2500 gay men and women , the study showed that they all had one thing in common the interest in the same sex happend around puberty . Attraction to one sex or the other is usually reviled at at puberty . The study also reviled that in the gay men and women who participated in the study there was also a common gene that other heterosexual men and women do not have . A religious theripist is going to tell you that you have been exposed to some tramatic event in your life that has caused you to become attracted to the same sex , Its just not true . If that were true everyone would gay . The men who molested as children by priest in the Catholic church are a good example , There have been thousands of cases and the span 40 yrs. the majority are not gay and the few who are have all said that they were attracted to men before they were molested . When women are raped they do not turn to women , they are still heterosexual after the rape . The next thing he will tell you if he can't pin it on one of the events you mentioned , Is you were exposed to demonic infulences . You may need therapy to discuss some of the things you have gone through in your life , But you the one thing you do not need is therpy to discuss your sexual orentation . I went through therapy and I heard all the same things . I am gay and I had a dad who was great , No one ever molested me or raped me , I had my first kiss at 13 and It was with a girl and I dated women through Highschool , I never did drugs until I was in my 20's and I didn't like it . I am In my mid 30's now and I am happy with my life and my choices .

Answer 4

You are attracted to guys because you are gay. Homosexual. A wonderful creation of God who happens to love the same gender. You were made this way, and it is good. It may be some hang-ups in your religious counselor's life that make it difficult for him to accept, but you need not see it as a bad thing. It is part of what makes you, you!

Answer 5

I'd go for: you don't need a reason to be gay! Personally I think it's just something which you are, and doesn't need to be linked to anything else.

I just hope that the reason you're seeing a religious counsellor isn't because you are a member of a religion which frowns on homosexuality, as I think you should do whatever pleases you and not worry about being gay.

Answer 6

5. You think guys look and feel really good.

This religious counselor is only trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Certainly you need help with the issues you brought up (drugs, abandonment, etc), but being gay is no defect.

Answer 7

5. None of the above.
You might want to find a more secular counsellor. One who is invested in helping you not proving some point.

Answer 8

You were born gay. There is nothing a religious counselor can do to help. This counselor will probably hurt you more than help you. Keep away from so-called "christians" who say they can help you, and turn you straight.

You born gay. See a legitimate counselor to help you work through your early life experiences and negative feelings about beng gay. This wll help accept yourself for who you are.

Answer 9

Every person is a unique individual and so it is dangerous for a counselor to try and fit them into a mold, however as a Biblical counselor myself, I've learned that there are certain common factors from a person's past that seem to often lead to similar out workings in their adult life.

A child seems to have a need for the reassuring love of a father figure in their life. That's how God made us. When a child has a distant father or a domineering mother or as in your case no real father figure at all, this need sometimes gets confused when they reach the age where they become sexually aware because of entering puberty.

Studies have shown that something like 80 percent of men who identify themselves as "gay" have backgrounds that include the things you mention including being sexually abused at a young age.

Answer 10

so sorry about your hard life. Hey its ok to be attracted to whomever, wherever, love is simply just love and there can never be any shame in that you dont neeeeed a counsellor just understanding and care and love/ If you find your own sex more attractive then be happy, celebrate whom you are!