GIRLS ONLY!! hard coming?

Question

Are there any girls out there who have been with their bf's for a while and feel comfortable with, but find it hard coming? I usually can but takes a while. But on sat night we both had a bit to drink and we were getting into to and he was "performing oral". I can nearly all the time orgasm, but i just couldnt that time. I felt so stressed I told him to stop and broke down in tears! I felt so abnormal not to be able to. felt kinda embarrassed. I was realxed and everything but then when i was almost there it was happening and got stressed! Why else could it be? Are there any girls who had this experience and not ALWAYS happen for them and how do you feel about it. felt like a bit of a freak to be honest. if someone else has had this, i wont feel aloone.thanks. no insensitive answers please. x

Answer 1

Girls need to be mentally into the moment as well and if you think that every time you have sex you HAVE to have an orgasm, then youre sub-consciously putting pressure on your body and bingo! No orgasm. Just relax and dont think about it and itll come along. :O) I get this sometimes if I have a lot of stress or things going on in my life, where my brains not really relaxing and I find it SOOOO frustrating! Have fun ;O)

Answer 2

I am sorry I am not a girl... but I felt like responding.

First of all, your not a freak or anything of the sort. What you are going through is compeletly natural. I may be a guy, and have no idea about having a vagina, but many women have this issue. The main cause of this is stress.... or trying too hard to ***. Best thing to do is relax and talk to your boyfriend.

I prefer a girl to be honest about things.... unlike other comments I see like "I fake it 90% of the time" or whatever.

Once thing you didnt mention is do you orgasm easy through masturbation (on your own)? If you do then you should communicate with your boyfriend more so you do get the same orgasm satisfaction. He may be doing certain things wrong when he gives you oral. It isnt his fault as he may be doing a good job, but maybe more communication is in order. Only you and your boyfriend knows that one.

To end this, dont feel bad and just enjoy it. Dont force an orgasm. I know I am a guy and all, but dont let this effect you as if your a 'freak' or whatever.

Last thing to mention.... I'd prefer a girl to turn round and say "I not just getting it right tonight" rather "I cummin ooohh aah" basically.

Good luck and enjoy sex as it is.

Answer 3

omgosh i know exactly what you mean. ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years and havent came ONCE. its not that hes not good at what he does, he is but i just cant ***! Ive literaly almost gotten there 40584594 times but ive been thinking about it too much, that i loose my orgasm that is about to come! Almost 80% of women who have sex, will never have an orgasm. So dont feel left out, over 80% of other women havent experienced one either. Dont feel like a freak, your not! It's normal. Maybe you guys should try some toys, or role play, or watch porn to get in the mood. Im sure it would help!

Answer 4

I've always been fairly non-orgasmic - I can only really do it "myself" through self- stimulation if you know what I mean. Noone else can do it for me! I've tried but I have to do it in a certain way and its not one that someone else can do for me (lying on my front and grinding my clit on the back of my hand is the only thing that works for me).

Its hard and frustrating for my boyfriend as he's convinced he's doing something "wrong". I keep having to tell him that its nothing he's doing, its me thats a bit . . .weird. I've got used to it now I guess. I used to be afraid that he'd leave me for a girl who was more orgasmic as he missed that side of sex but I think he's fairly happy. He used to have a problem coming with this ex-gf but he does it every time with me so something must be right.

Answer 5

Oh honey, you're not alone, believe me. It's harder for some girls to climax, especially with intercourse alone.
It's sometimes hard to have an orgasm, when, you know you want to and feel you have to. It puts you under pressure, and you don't fully relax enough to let it happen. You worry more about having one than what you're doing and how its feeling.
Just go with it, girl. Enjoy the moment, let your thoughts go, and don't think about it!!
If it happens, it happens...if not, try again in a little bit.

Answer 6

I swear that the more you think about it the less it happens! Honestly! I really think the key is to relax and just enjoy it whether you hit the jackpot or not. Spontaneous risky sex also gets it all going too, worth a try to give it a bit of spark!

Answer 7

we both have the same problem, thank god i have someone to talk to about this. The past four months of making love with my husband, i find it very hard to "come", actually, for almost 4 months of almost every night of having sex, i only reached orgasm once! Can you believe that? Actually i think that my case is even worse than yours honey. I'm just lucky that my husband understands my problem and we're finding a solution to it. We're thinking of other ways to make sex more "exciting" and "pleasurable" for the both of us. Wish us luck!

Answer 8

i think you're lucky love.. i don't feel anything when it comes to sex etc.. no sex drive no orgasm.. how alien do u think that feels..at least it does happen for u, just enjoy that,count yourself lucky and it might help reduce yr stress..the trouble with this type of thing is if stress has interfered once,the awareness of it happening can cause stress itself and make it happen again and again..not sure how to help you but now maybe u can relax knowing there are more freakish people out there than u.

Answer 9

All girls go through this at some time. The main thing is to try not to rush it the more you do the longer it takes. But if girls do not feel anything emotionally it makes it harder.

Answer 10

AWESOME pic i love family guy anyways i think you should definitely talk to her she just doesn't know how to start a conversation with you:) and shes nervous so do her the favor and talk to her first and get to know her ask her out to the movies or something and just get to know her more trust me i wish a boy could that for me :) good luck