I love my husband very much and i am very possessive abt him. I don't like his going out with his friends?

Question

we got married a couple of months back.earlier i was not so much possessive abt anyone or anything. But now i don't even like to eat alone or stay at home alone. ever since i came to know he had a short affair with a girl before he met me.(she dumped him)I sometimes even doubt that he loves me. he loves me a lot and takes care of me. But how do i feel secure and happy and satisfied and less possessive again?
help me.. I keep thinking abt the same things again and again.
Thanks for your responses in advance..

Answer 1

this is a tough one sweetie. All i can say is you need to make a DECISION to give up your insecurities and be happy and secure. at this present moment he isnt doing ANYTHING to make you feel insicure. He has CHOSEN YOU to marry and spend the rest of your life with, he TREATS YOU RIGHT, you need to decide to let his past go and decide to look towards a happy future with him or else you will never make this work. You need to go out with your friends and have fun yourself as an individual! retain your individuality! get hobbies that you enjoy, take your negative thoughts CAPTIVE! do not allow yourself to think those things. JUST USE SELF CONTROL! I think you can work through this. it will take time and effort though. all the best x

Answer 2

Has your husband given you any reason to feel insecure? If not then you need to find out the reasons why you feel this way. If you can't do it on your own, seek a therapist's help. This is a serious matter that must be addressed soon before it destroys your marriage and believe me, it will! You said your husband loves you a lot and takes care of you? What more proof do you need? Sheesh! Your self-esteem is NOT his responsibility. It's yours. Why does his short affair with a girl before he met you bother you? That was BEFORE he met you, get over it! Also, you have to stop being so possessive of him and controlling his life. He will only resent you for this and drive him further away from you. Is that what you want? Most importantly, you have to learn trust because if you can't trust your spouse, you have no business being married. You can start by communicating with him your fears and issues. Start now, before it's too late.

Answer 3

How was it an affair if he hadn't met you yet?? I know how frustrating it must be. But, honestly, the going out with friends should slow down since you are now married. Did you get married for the right reasons? You don't want to nag him, but you also don't want to teach him that he can do whatever he wants while you sit home alone. Stand up for yourself and for what you want out of your marriage. If you don't feel secure, that means something isn't going right. Once you start feeling that things are right, you will naturally stop being so "possessive." Good luck!

Answer 4

He told you about the affair that happened before he met before you and she dumped him. Again, he told you. He married YOU. You either start trusting your husband or your life is going to be one living hell. You also need to bring yourself up a a lot in the way you think of yourself. He married you if he was hung up on the other he would not of married you. Guess he really loves you... Now start trusting him

Answer 5

Well, definetely sit him down and talk to him. Tell him what you told me. If that still doesn't work out, then there's always the option of breaking your marriage vows, yes, I mean divorce, but hey this is the worst case senario. If he doesn't love you, which proves it by having an affair, then break up with him. Being single is much better because you have your own freedom. You can do what you want. But then again, this is the worst case senario and I would hope for you to talk to him first. Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 6

You pronounced you have been waiting to go away. Why replace your ideas? He sounds as though he ought to be risky. in case you go away you will ought to be very careful. many women folk are killed each and every 12 months after leaving their psycho boyfriends/husbands. you may desire to come across help the place ever you're that may assist you out.

Answer 7

You choose to trust. I know that sounds simple, but it works. Everytime you think of a negative thought..replace it with a positive one. This was the advice given to me by my therapist and it really works. I am not saying you will never get stuck...and find yourself thinking of negative things, but when you do, you can just change the thought. He has given you no reason not to trust him....just think of how you are...would you cheat on him? Give him the same benefit of the doubt. I think that men get a bad rap sometimes..we all think that they are the ones who just can't control themselves, but the truth is...there are some faithful guys out there...I am married to one...it feels good to trust and to have faith that they love you as much as you do them and would do nothing to jeopardize that. Good luck! Hope this helps.

Answer 8

It sound's like you're a young couple who indeed love each other I understand he cheated but it was before the marriage you say you love him than forgive him that's when you're able to move on. I think when people take a step to marriage you're making a decision on a eternal commitment to one another. You took that bold step try taking marriage counseling if you're not able to get over it. If you love him what do you have to lose. Now if he cheats again than **** him up straight up!

Answer 9

You need to ask yourself a few questions...

1- How much does he go out? If he goes out too much, it's his problem. If he only goes out once a week, you have a problem.

2- Where is he going? If you can't verify what he is doing, you have a legitimate concern.

3- Since he cheated on you already, the burden of proof is on him to make sure you know what he is doing.

Answer 10

u r going to rong path of thinking... every body's personal thoguhts r most imp in relationship whnever he want to be with their male frined u have to permitted him n d same right u can get. cause living together is different thing n forced to be living together is other thing. respect each other's privacy. n if he is taking gr8 care of urs n loving u most then y n how could u think that insecured ??? divert ur mind with home decoration n preparing new eating thems n item for ur male when u feel alone at home u mind will be positive n his repose with u will be going higher day by day. one quote for u IF U R GIVING ANYTHING TO UR LOVE SHE WILL BACK D SAME TO U WITH MULTIPLE OF TEN TIMES. understanding n trust is first step of happy marriage. best of luck