Ok help please....?

Question

Im a 20 year old guy and i got a 13 year old girl pregnant and i like her alot what should i do??????????

Answer 1

You first have some legal issues to deal with. In many states, what you did is called statutory rape. Sounds unfair if you were both consenting, but that's the deal.

You must talk with her, and then with her parents. Your parents should be involved in the discussion as well.

You and she may have a future, but only if you are both extremely mature and AND have the unconditional support of one or both sets of your parents.

Do you belong to a church? Get talkin' with your priest, minister, rabbi... you both need some major support and talk therapy at this point. SHE needs to get to a doctor and if she is going to keep the baby, she must have regular care. It is always important to have good medical care during pregnancy, but HIGHLY important for your girlfriend, because not only will her body be growing a little human being, but she is continuing to grow and develop, herself.

Do you love her, or do you like her a lot? How does she feel about you? If you both want this to be a forever thing, then it can be. There are a lot of options for her and the baby. I hope she chooses not to abort it, and one of the BIG reasons is that when women who abort later have a baby, they go through HUGE regrets over the abortion. Sometimes they never get over it, and it (rightly) leaves a huge hole in their heart and their life. Your girlfriend can choose to put her baby up for adoption. She can choose to keep it and raise it. (I say "it", but you do know, of course, that this little "it" will be born to be a tiny "him" or "her," and will have a personality, feelings, and be highly demanding and one of the most loving things you will ever do as a young man, to be a father.

The most important thing now is to talk with her, to be with her, and to get the word out to the parents. DO NOT let them force you or her into anything. And you must be prepared to deal with the legal issues if they come up, and they probably will. I suggest you talk with Planned Parenthood to see what they suggest, since they probably have dealt with this a few times before.

If you and your girlfriend decide to be together, don't just think of it as a summer campout that will end whenever one or the other of you grows up, the baby gets to be a pain, or she goes through whatever growing up emotional traumas that she will likely go through. The thing to do, if you are allowed to, is to stop being a nearly-grown-up teenager, and start (RIGHT NOW) being a young man. You have sired a human being, and you must figure out how you are going to support your girl emotionally, physically, and financially in the months and years to come.

Fair or not, if a mommy can be with her baby during the growing up years, it is best for both of them. That means, for you, that you need to either get a job right away, and make plans for a future with her, or you need to have the parents agree to let you both live with them until you are both ready to move into a place of your own.

Accept all the help and advice you get from anyone who offers it. Even if what you hear isn't what you want to hear, if it is difficult, etc., you need to listen and then think about it. There is always something to learn from everyone you meet, and right now is a very good time to hear the words and accept the help, whatever it is.

Be prepared for negative reactions from people around you, as well as people who don't know you well. They are likely to say you are too old for her and you should have known better, etc etc. The fact is that 13 year old girls are much MUCH more physically mature in 2006 than they were in 1986. (Medical docs will tell you that)! If she were 16, you wouldn't get the hassle you must expect, since she is, in fact, 13.

Physically mature or not, though, 13 is still a little girl in alot of ways. You need to pull the extra years you have on her out of their basket and wear them all the time. Not to hold over her, but to remember, in your own head, that this is YOUR responsibility, emotionally and legally. Whether you are together with her or not, you will be financially responsible for the baby, for the next 18 years.

You can make just about any relationship work. This one has a difficult start. But you can decide to love anyone, and that person can decide to love you back. It is a mark of maturity and emotional dedication to the "cause" of 2-person unity when you and she can realize that there is more going on here than the 2 of you. You both have a great responsibility to the baby, and if you are fortunate enough to get to raise him/her together, you must just work through the difficult parts.

A word to the wise on the baby/parents together and in the same house thing. It is well worth the hassle of dealing with each other from day to day. It's mighty hard to have your little one have to be at the other parent's house on their 3rd birthday, or the first day of baseball, or have to be with daddy only 2 weeks out of the summer because that's all your custody papers have written on them.

I am sure that my advice will be in the minority, but the advice I have for you is to own up to what's going on, shoulder your manhood and pack it around with you for all to see. You were man enough to father a baby, and you will be man enough to take excellent care of the mom and the baby as well. Your girlfriend has some growing to do, and so do you. But you will be mature enough to be sure you do it together. It will be best for the baby as it grows into a toddler, then a little child, and on through high school.

Sounds like a long time, but it isn't. You can do this, IF she will participate, and IF the parents will allow it. Thirteen is plenty old enough to make some decisions about her own future, and now that she is going to be a mom, it is the best time.

Ask her to marry you, get the permission you need from the parents (and this may keep you the heck out of jail, as well); get married, and live with whichever parental set will have you until you are on your feet financially. She should have the support and contact of her family whenever she wants or needs it. Never forget the while she will be a mommy, she still needs her mommy too, although her time to be a little girl is essentially over.

If you are fortunate enough for all this to happen, then stick with it. Don't marry her for the interim. Marry her for the rest of forever, and make it work. It is not only possible, but the right thing to do.

Answer 2

OK... I don't know if your joking or not, cuz I just read your other questions.

But, if you got a 13 year old pregnant, you in seriuos trouble mister. First of all... It's against the law! Secondly, that's just pathetic, that you have to have sex with a child.

Go to Jail, Don't pass GO, Don't collect $200. No "Get Out Of Jail Free" Card either. You can't even marry this girl to stay out of trouble.

That's a FELONY .... A SEX OFFENDER CHARGE ...

Answer 3

That is illegal first of all. If a girl is under 18, they can always charge you for rape. But you should support the girl and wait until she's a legal adult in 5 yrs.

Answer 4

well have fun in the big house because that is where u are going and then everyone will know for the rest of your life cause u will be listed on the web as a perv.

Answer 5

get ready for jail if her parents press charges believe me the state will get you its called jail bait under 18 buddie and maybe just maybe her parents will be nice and not press charges but if they do your screwed literally I'm serious I'm speaking from personal experience even if she consented to having sex with you she is considered a minor I'm sorry Hun i hope everything works out for you

Answer 6

Here's what you do...
stay right where you are, the police are on their way to arrest you for statutory rape, rape of a minor, sexual abuse of a minor, child molestation, lewd and lascivious behavior with a minor...and a few other various and sundry charges.

Answer 7

#1: Why are you having sex with anyone under 18???
#2: You are going to jail.

Answer 8

Pack your bags for jail perv. And get used to introducing yourself to neighbors because you have a long future of that!

Answer 9

Why are you on the Internet?? You are supposed to be in jail right now!!!!

Answer 10

ur goin on a porridge diet. have fun in jail!