The other night the girl and I slept together while he watched and the only reason I did it was because he wanted me to. Now I feel terrible and I feel wrong inside. I feel like I have betrayed "myself", and that I havent been true to myself. I never really wanted too but for the past 6 years all he has done is tormented me, manipulated me into what he wants and almost left me a few times, he even said a few months ago that he thought he was in love with the same girl I done those things with, then he saw how much pain I was in and said he couldnt believe he ever thought that he loved her and that he was sorry and loved me. and didnt love her. It seems like no matter what I do he is never happy. I have done everything he has asked me to do in the past including another threesome. He hurts me so much, because I never honestly feel good enough for him since every year he is always going through these "crisis", Now he wants a threesome with the same girl, and Im hurt and afraid...
2006-08-13 18:48:45 · 27 answers · asked by hearts_bleed_dark 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have sacrificed my heart and self in the process of proving that Im good enough for him and he has hurt me more than anyone should deserve... What I wanna know is what I can do or how I can do this without destroying my heart
2006-08-13 18:54:34 · update #1
To the girl or girls who said that I should go ahead and do the threesome, I think you are very irrational and have no ideal how a real relationship works. You wouldnt let your husband participate in a threesome with another girl if he thought he loved that girl less that two months before this would happen. your just giving him the okay to fall more for her and more than likely leave you. And its not like I refused a threesome alltogether I tried it , along with constantly prooving to him I love him with other things.I have done. I am not having a threesome with someone he has strong feelings for like that, that would be just giving him permission to persue her most likely. You are obviously ignorant of my situation. Or are in a great relationship with a guy who values your feelings. Think before you open your mouth. sorry to be so insulting but you are insulting me.
2006-08-20 06:00:29 · update #2
You don't need another threesome, you need a divorce. No matter what lines a guy feeds you, if he's pulling for a threesome it's because he has zero respect for you. He's also a selfish bastard who doesn't care how you feel, so long as he gets his cheap little thrills. Sorry to say it, but it sounds like your marriage is based on very little. The good news, you are gorgeous, so when you are ready you should have no problem finding a new guy that will love and cherish you as much as you do him.
2006-08-13 19:05:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonyman 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What you are describing is the emotional equivalent of wife beating. You don't deserve it, no one does. Try marriage counseling, if it doesn't work, or worse, if he refuses, remove that man from your life. What is breaking your heart is how you are being treated, and it ISN'T YOUR FAULT! I was in a relationship that was wonder full the first year and a half, then I stuck it out another 4 years trying to make it turn wonder full again. When I finally got traded in I was bulimic with a drinking problem and a daughter. Do as I say and not as I did, save yourself. You have my prayers.
2006-08-19 09:37:26 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship is over. You need to leave this guy and give him the freedom to do everything (and everyone) he wants. The reason for his dissatisfaction comes from within him, and he's using you as a scapegoat - he can't take responsibility for himself and needs someone to blame when things aren't right.
Regardless of what he wanted, you should have never entered into a threesome if it was not what YOU wanted. Now you're in agony and he wants you to do it again? He's a jerk and has proven that he doesn't give a damn about your feelings. Lose him.
2006-08-20 09:20:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him "No Way." You shouldn't have to compromise yourself to make him happy. It sounds like you are miserable. So I gotta ask, how long have you been married? Do you have kids? Do you love him? This is all stuff to consider to determine if you want to stay together or separate. I would honestly talk to him about how you're feeling. Don't participate in another threesome if it makes you feel sick to your stomach. You might just need to move on as hard as that can be.
2006-08-14 01:58:32 · answer #4 · answered by Steph 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce this person, he doesn't love you. Marriage is between man and woman alone. You have the right idea about relationships, he, apparently doesnt. Someone who threatens to leave you because you refuse to a threesome is someone who does not love you. I wish you the best of luck. Take care.
2006-08-14 01:55:30 · answer #5 · answered by HocusPocus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That does not sound like a good situation....My husb and I had a 3some, and I was also with her "just myself". We havent seen nor talked to her in a while; but still my husb never mentions her nor asks for her "again". What we did was a mutual decision and thats how it must be. After your husb expressed "love" for this girl and now wants a 3some w/her even after knowing how upset you were is just wrong! Doing something just because your spouse wants you too is never a good idea especially in a situation as sensitive as this.
2006-08-14 02:00:32 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Tracy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An ex boyfriend tried to torment me into the same...I really looked within and realized that when I give of myself that way..I am giving myself to that person and I could not in good conscious do it and told him "NO". Since you have already done it..if he asks again..tell him NO and tell him why. Tell him how it makes you feel and that you don't want that. Of course..I don't believe any man who asks this of his wife or girlfriend can love them.
2006-08-19 15:22:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anne E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take it from an older guy and stop giving in to what this guy wants from you. You sound like a terrific woman and mother and you don't have to do anything you don't want just because he says he loves you. If he did he would respect your thoughts and feelings and not try to pressure you into doing things that make you feel this way. You said the key words about him, "he torments you, manipulates you" into doing what "HE" wants not what you want. Look at yourself, respect yourself, be yourself and don't demean yourself to please him.
2006-08-14 01:56:21 · answer #8 · answered by Charles S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you should not let your husband treat you this way. Not because you guys are married means that he can ask you to do whatever he wants. A marriage is not just about pleasing the man, he should be thinking about how you feel. I am thinking on how much does he love you... My boyfriend sometimes pushes me to do things, but at the end he says that it is up to me to decide, sometimes I cry and as soon as he sees that, he decides not to do whatever he wanted to do because he realizes that it is not correct. Both of you should enjoy, not just one.
2006-08-14 01:55:37 · answer #9 · answered by ms. M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he has some major issues with himself. and this chick he keeps trying to bring into the bedroom...forgetaboutit. he's manipulating you into making it ok for him to cheat on you. what a scum bag. if he's your husband then he should be more respectful of your feelings. you need to get counseling or a divorce and find someone who has the same outlook on life like you do. do you really want to spend the rest of your life feeling this way? what kind of existence would that be? if my husband ever did these things he would be missing a body part or two if you now what i mean.
2006-08-14 02:02:14 · answer #10 · answered by ImJustHonest 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋