im black american woman married to a african man?

Question

me and my husband are from different countrys im american and hes african (kenya,africa). we havea daughter who we love so much and were both going to school so my husband and i decided to send our daughter who is 10 months old to africa to stay with her grandparents and family there. everything is somwhat healthy in our relationship but the communication. he does not express him self and does not like to talk alot and i feel left out of his loop when he talks to other kenyans how could i tell him how i feel without offending him and being too needed

we have been married 2 years and i have talked to him and he still takes me forgranted i feel like a trophy wife like now hes in africa with uor daughter and he has not wrote to me or anything he just takes my money and ignores me is this love or time for divorce

Answer 1

Unfortunately your situation is cultural. He may have grew up where men only talk to other men when it concerns certain situations. Men, in some cultures, are taught never to complain to women, always be strong and to listen to her issues.

My advice is to go to him, as his wife, and ask him if there is anything that is bothering him. Explain to him that in your culture, women and men are open to each other with their concerns, fears, etc. See if he is willing to listen and if not, you may just have to live with it. If he is a good man, takes care of your and his responsibilities and talks to other kenyas, be happy that he has an out. Everyone needs and outlet, outside of a relationship. He may not be able to change. These are the things one must put up with in a multi-cultural relationship. It sounds as if you have a good healthy relationship. So I also suggest, let it be the good relationship that it is and don't try to tweak it too much.

Answer 2

You sent your 10 mo. old daughter away to another country because you're in school? What kind of mother are you? Your husband has probably left you and is now living a new life with the daughter you chose to send away. Of course he doesn't want to talk to someone who can be that kind of mother.

Answer 3

Really, you should just talk about this with your husband. Not in a needy way, but definitely talk to him. Men all over the world have this tendency to not communicate, especially if they're older or are from a more conservative society.

Answer 4

i also have a daughter who is two. WHY WOULD ANYONE LEAVE THERE CHILD??? i don't want to make you feel guilty but get your child back where she belongs, WITH HER MOTHER. if your husband won't listen then get rid of him. why should he be over with your daughter and you back here and you should not give him any money.

Answer 5

tell him how you feel

I dated an african man (I'm black), but I found out that we had too many cultural differences and he was not willing to except change so I ended that ordeal.

Answer 6

sit him down and say that you need to talk about it, because if you dont say anything, or say it years later it might be harder for him to understand why

Answer 7

Please get your child back as soon as possible.