My sister and I are in our 40's this has gone on since we were 13 and 14 years old. Neither of us speak to our father now because ift has become such a hassel. Our step mother is rude to us and our children. They went on to have 3 of thier own children and of course they are the best and my sister and I have always been the out cast. Please how do we deal with this in an adult way?
2006-08-13 17:43:22 · 18 answers · asked by Kristine B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Now that you are already in your 40's and have a family of your own, forget about your mean stepmother. You and your sister had already suffered so much when you were still young and were mistreated by her, so why worry now as to how to deal with her. Stay within your own domain and devote your time with your husband and kids.
2006-08-13 17:50:59 · answer #1 · answered by Belen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You failed to mention your fathers attitude. You are old enough to not be required to have a relationship with the step mother or the siblings if you don't think your treatment is fair.
You don't have to end your relationship with your father unless he is also treating you unfairly. It's a real shame that you can't perform as a family unit, but not the end of the world. If you are receiving fair treatment by one of them then be fair back.
There is no sense in getting together just to argue or fight. If there is a chance the problems can be resolved, by all means continue to try to resolve them.
There is also no sense in trying to continue to be friendly when you are alone in this venture. Call a spade a spade. If shes a ***** than live with it, but on your terms.
Just make sure that when the reading of the will happens you get your share first or no one gets a share, because that's the way it should be.
2006-08-14 01:09:14 · answer #2 · answered by mickyyyyy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your sister need to write the wicked stepmother a heartfelt letter. Rise above the insults and work more towards the guilt of how it's affecting your lives and the lives of your children. Explain to her that she can't blame the two of you for having a different mother, it wasn't your choice, and tell her that you would like to make ammends with whatever issues she has with the two of you so that you may enjoy whatever years you have left with your father. I would also take it a step further and talk to one of your half siblings about the situation. Alot of times they see it going on, but fail to say anything to avoid upsetting mommy dearest. It's a tough situation honey and alot of times, it's just the way it goes. Don't settle for that. She's a mother herself and wouldn't dream of doing this to her own children....it's time to start pulling on her heartstrings.
2006-08-14 00:58:44 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way but in a different predicament.My farther has old-timers and she finally put him in a home.She could not take it anymore.She happened to only put my Aunt on the papers only .Not my grandma or grandpa.Thank-god grandpa had to know some one inside.
To make a long story short.We all gotten together and had a very loving talk.She know understand all of us.So maybe you all should try and have a talk together.Good luck on your up coming.
2006-08-14 00:52:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your step mom sounds like mine but you must remind her that even though she's your Fathers wife that you and your sister will always be his CHILDREN whether she likes it or not what's your Father doing about this it is his responsibility to let her know that he had kids before he met her and long after shes gone he will still have kids.
2006-08-14 00:54:40 · answer #5 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father is a wimp, but why is this bothering you in your forty's. Get a lawyer, you'll need it. Your stepmother has been cultivating for a least 30 years.
2006-08-14 00:50:39 · answer #6 · answered by Janis N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to accept that you cant "make" someone love you and deal with it as best you can. Just go see your dad on the holidays and when she isnt around or some thing.
2006-08-14 00:46:40 · answer #7 · answered by Hilllbilly_gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your dad that you are fed up with this crap and you WILL not TAKE IT ANYMORE.....tELL HIM HE NEEDS TO START REGARDING YOU AS HIS KIDS BECAUSE THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE..sOUNDS LIKE YOUR STEP MOM COULD USE A GOOD SLAPPING DOWN BUT THAT ISN'T ADULT...Just tell your dad that you want him in your life and if his wife doesn't like it well thats just too fuc-ing bad
2006-08-14 00:49:31 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't. It's now your father's problem. One day he'll regret letting her push you out of his life. Until then, just focus on your own lives. Maybe when you stop trying it'll wake him up.
2006-08-14 00:46:03 · answer #9 · answered by designer_bunnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to talk to your father when your stepmother is not around, try to make him understand how you and your sister are feeling, but sometimes it may not work because your stepmother is to dominering, so you may have to show up and talk to him and make him at least here your points even if your stepmother is there
2006-08-14 00:50:30 · answer #10 · answered by NoOneKnowsMe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋