Where is a copy of the Republican playbook to be found?

Question

If I see the word "illegal", I want to know that the response is to be: "ship them back where they came from".

If I see a Republican backsliding, I want to know to say: "That's what the terrorists want you to think" (or do depending upon the circumstances of course).

If I hear one of my friends suggesting he might be gay, I will want to tell him that satan is behind his thoughts and he needs to repent but I love him just the same but hate his sinning and evil ways. Doesn't this get a bit confusing and do I run the risk of his thinking I find him attractive if I go this route? Does the playbook speak to such "sticky" situations?

Ok, from where does all of this brilliant knowledge flow and in what source might it be found?

Can I send money to Rush? How can I be sure he wasn't fooling around with men in Ecquador when he got caught on his return with his Viagra prescription? Is Rush really just a fat homo? Not a nice picture but not that there is anything wrong w that...

Answer 1

There isn't one. For 'national security' reasons it's too secret to actually be written down so the entire thing resides in Karl Rove's head. However the latest installment, which has an energizingly desperate tone, has two parts:

1) Divide and Conquer: Accuse the Democrat party of having been hijacked by a bunch of rabid communists--like, for instance, the majority of Democrats in Conneticut. This is in opposition to earlier plays that cast all Democrats as rabid communists. These strident new-Old Democrats are rabid-er and more communisty than the old-New Democrats--and they aren't on the payroll, either.

2) As poll numbers for Republicans dwindle it's important to make progressively louder and more extreme accusations of Democrats. This will convince the American voter that the Republican party is the party of strength and reason. They need to remember that Jesus too often used shrill tones, smug condescension, and accused people who disagreed with his conservative politics of treason.

This is in addition to other preexisting priorities, such as the successful drive to make 'Liberal' a dirty word to many Americans and 'Civil Rights' a codeword for letting criminals and preverts off scott free with the help of the Amercian COMMUNIST Liberties Union. Only when Liberalism and Civil Rights are completely eliminated will these measures be discontinued.

Another ongoing play is to use fear and the threat of terrorist attack should Democrats be elected. It's important that voters understand that our Intelligence and Law Enforcement communities are acting as Republicans when they catch and stop terrorist plots and not as serious professionals. Without Republicans in office these officials would stop doing their jobs and become a bunch of lazy, worthless hippies who try to 'just make friends' with terrorists.

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Also, the stories about Rush are mean-spirited fabrications. I've got it on good authority that Rush took that Viagra with him so that he could successfully spill then save his valuable seed for future generations of Rush-inseminated mothers whose sons will help save America as the Rapture grows closer--and whose daughters will cook, clean, and make them comfortable after a hard day's work. This had to be done in a small third-world country to escape the notice of the left-wing Liberal media. Rumors about him going down there alone with a bottle of his doctor's viagra for sordid trysts with underage or gay prostitutes are all completely false.

Answer 2

I believe there are only 3 copies of the official Republican playbook. I believe the religious wrong have at least one copy so you might need to check with falwell or buchanon, hell just write the 700 club, I am sure they can get you a copy. The second copy is with Cheney but I don't think he is telling. The third copy is in Texas but it just was lost during the redistricting. I heard that dubya had a copy but if he did it was probably used as tp. (I am not overly confident that he could have read it anyway, hence probably why Cheney has a copy. )

Answer 3

The Republican "playbook" is based on a very old and trusted book that has been in circulation for at least 2000 years. It is the best selling book of all time, exceeding all other books world-wide in sales. Can you guess what it is ?? The Bible !!

Answer 4

The source below can guide you.

It can be found in a shul near you.

Answer 5

What a sophomoric little diatribe. Put a sock in it.

Answer 6

ok ok ok ok you have said enough try the BIBLE