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Okay I have to face this ladies husband, his my boss. I know he is cheating I have told him just leave her don't make a fool out of her. We do alot of family things together, them and two other couples we all know and when she leaves the room we all say when is she going to catch on...I feel sorry for her if it were my husband I would want to know

2006-08-13 17:07:54 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

19 answers

then why do you do it? you are disrespecting her in her own home, both of u guys are.

2006-08-13 17:10:18 · answer #1 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0 0

First of all this is a bad thing that he is your boss. I mean this is some serious business and if you say the wrong thing and upset him then BOOM you have to see him at work every single day!! Why is he discussing these things with you? I think it is a good idea that you stop talking with him about things that are too personal. Sounds like part of the reason he is having marital problems is because he isn't communicating with his spouse. You are basically stuck in the middle and by talking behind her back you are only making it more difficult. A true friend would not allow this to go on. It probably is a good idea that you maybe spend alittle less time with your boss and his wife for awhile. Otherwise you are just going to have to tell her, lose a friendship , maybe quit your job but have some dignity here and STOP!!!!

2006-08-14 00:14:40 · answer #2 · answered by lovelyandcarefree 5 · 0 0

To a great extent you are in a "no win" situation.

You've already pointed out that she isn't seeing what's going on around her. People don't want to "face" or admit that their spouse is cheating on them. If you confront her and tell her the truth, there is the possibility that she will not want to believe you. Then she'll be angry at you for accusing her spouse of cheating. You will become persona non grata. If she believes you, you can still become persona non grata. Everytime she see you she'll be reminded of the infidelity. Unless she's a strong person, she'll start to avoid you.

You can be just as screwed by not telling her. Because then when she finds out, she'll wonder why no one told her. She may feel that everyone was laughing behind her back.

If you feel you must do something, the best approach may be one of subtle hints and "talking around the matter". Plant a seed of doubt in her mind by mentioning a fictional friend of yours who is being cheated on just like the real lady is. Maybe she'll start to compare her situation to your fictional friends and put two and two together. If she responds to your innuendo's, fine. If not, back off and forget it. Stay out of the whole affair.

2006-08-14 00:20:36 · answer #3 · answered by Spiritual but not religious 4 · 0 0

It's your boss so you can't do nothing! Do not tell her! What do you think it's going to happen?
1) You'll have "breach of trust" with your boss, meaning: You're fired!
2) Nobody likes a snitch. Even the lady won't like you eventually.
Nobody has to know that you know. Just play dumb and let them be. How about "don't do things together"? I'd be out of that situation.
You could, however, talk to your boss. Reassure him that it's none of your business but you don't want to be in an uncomfortable situation hanging out with him, and that you want to keep it professional. You could try that but the best to try is inaction, if you want your job.

2006-08-14 00:13:51 · answer #4 · answered by SkyRaider 4 · 0 0

Jess, is he cheating with you- If not Drama involving somebody else is definitely conversation for you pea-sized thinking individuals. Way too late for you to do the right thing you have no MORALS! COOTHE! or Respect. Move to a trailer park, That's all you and your coupled posse think like. It shouldn't of gone this far that the whole world and not her Knows!

2006-08-14 00:17:56 · answer #5 · answered by marvmarkie 2 · 0 0

If you tell her, you are going to the "bad guy". When I was cheated on, I felt betrayed no one told me, but I probably would have hurt the messenger as I did him. She might already know, but doesn't want to deal with it. Some women are willing to look the other way than rock the boat.

2006-08-14 01:39:18 · answer #6 · answered by BuffyFromGP 4 · 0 0

If it was your husband who would you want to tell you?

Is it really your place or someone else that cares for her more?

I would think that providing the information to her would put your job in jeopardy and it is therefore someone else's place to tell her.

If he is your boss then don't let him find out about any thing you do to make her aware of what is going on.

That would be tantamount to suicide on your part.

2006-08-14 00:18:43 · answer #7 · answered by mickyyyyy 3 · 0 0

thats a really difficult situation, however I wouldnt say anything/ I was involved in a similar situation and sometimes the wife does know and refuses to deal with it (shes in denial) or else she dosent want to upset her status and her home life~~one of the reasons why she is so difficult is that she is dealing with the stress already~(the unfaithfulness)~~I'd just let them deal with it, however if she ever needed a shoulder to cry on , or if she wanted to confide in somebody~ maybe then it would be alright

in any event goodluck~~you have good character to be so concerned and have empathy for someone in that predicament

2006-08-14 00:13:19 · answer #8 · answered by darkangel1111 5 · 0 0

Yes, I think you should tell her. Twenty-five years ago, I probably would have said the opposite. But, with HIV and Hep C and all the other STDs that are very difficult to deal with, I think she has to know.

BTW, I bet she knows already. She just hasn't had to face it directly.

2006-08-14 00:10:21 · answer #9 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0 0

no i don't think you should tell her because its his responsibility let him be a man and get his thing on his moment you don't want to be on the way when everything happen and i don't think you hate her you only disagree with her in some stuff but get the point that is not your life concentrate in your life

2006-08-14 00:12:37 · answer #10 · answered by Susie 3 · 0 0

i would let this situation resolve itself. sometimes people don't want to know their spouse is unfaithful. i have been in your position and told the person and it backfired. not only did it hurt this person to be cheated on, but it was mortifying for her to find out those around her knew.

2006-08-14 00:12:17 · answer #11 · answered by dstb 1 · 1 0

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