If you know that your baby will be born with defects, would you consider aborting it?

Question

A friend of mine's brother just had a baby. They knew from very early on that it would most likely be born with severe defects. I cannot remember the exact defect, but it has something to do with her skeleton. Chances of her making it to preschool are slim to none. Now my question is: if you know that your child is going to be born with such a severe defect, do you still give birth to it? This disease will make their life a living hell, and they may not even live that long. Just curious to see what people think.

I don't need anyone yelling at me about abortion please. I am pro choice. I just wondered what some opinions would be.

Just to clarify: I am not saying that I personally would abort the child. I am just wondering what peoples thoughts on the matter would be

Answer 1

No. My kids are my kids and I love them, no matter what. Having a child with disabilities often brings a family closer together and enriches the lives of everyone that child touches. I'd give my child the best quality of life possible regardless of how long his/her life expectancy would be. Not one of us knows when our time is up. I could die in a car crash tomorrow. My "normal" baby could choke to death on a rock she finds outside or my son could come down with leukemia and die within a year. You can't see these things coming. Should I have not had kids if this was to be their fate? Should I not go on living today and commit suicide knowing I could die painfully tomorrow? Certainly not.

Things happen, and if you go through life trying to always prevent this rather than stand up to the challenge of it, you live in constant fear. I'd rather face adversity than avoid it. I'd rather my child always know love before they die than spend the rest of my life wondering if those defects ever really would have occurred.

I've known two families that were told before their child was born that the baby faced severe defects. One family faced a horrid confrontation with a doctor who threatened to enforce a court order for an abortion for their choice to bring a child with Down's Syndrome into the world. They switched doctors and he never did bring suit against them. The baby was born without Down's Syndrome. Chromosomal testing after he was born proved he was fine.

Another family decided to have their daughter after coming to the hospital to have an abortion because they were told she was stillborn. At the hospital, the very last check before the procedure, they found a heartbeat. The baby was born extremely premature with problems due to an incompetent placenta and low amniotic fluid, but she knew love her whole life. She passed away at age 3, not because of complications from her birth and pregnancy, but because of a heart disease that ran in the family that she wasn't checked for. She basically had a heart attack. The doctors focused more on why she was still alive and overcoming her other problems than finding out if she had something genuinely wrong with her.

Neither family regrets their decision. Even the family that faced heartbreak found a way to turn it into something positive. They've become local activists for the genetic disorder their daughter had, the one thing the doctors couldn't predict. They want testing to become available. The other family has decided not to file a malpractice suit against the doctor that threatened to sue them, even though the emotional distress of the comment sent the mother to the hospital. They're far more forgiving than I would have ever been. They just moved on, healthy & happy.

So, you don't necessarily "know" that things will turn out bad. You have to give life a chance to surprise you, I think. I know plenty of healthy & happy people who have genetic disorders/defects. They get along fine and wouldn't consider their lives a "living hell" as you say. It's just life. Like the rest of us have.

I think it's quite scary to abort kids who aren't perfect. It's genetic cleansing, something Hitler would have advocated. Imagine a world where no one with a disability is allowed to live. It's creepy to start to think like that.

Answer 2

I would keep the baby. It is betetr to have the baby and give it the best life possible while it lives rather then just selfishley killing it and just a little FYI for some out thier just because a doctor says a child will not live long does nto mean it will actually happen.

I know plenty of people related to people who were not suppose to make it to thier first birthday yet they did and one example is my ex boyfriends brother. He was not suppose to live to see 1 because he has something wrong with him but I dont remember what it is but at first they say he would not make it to one but he did so then they said 5 and he made it so then they said 10 and he made it and now hes 14 and still living.

I find no reason for abortion and I find it is nobodies right to have one and this is coming from somone who got pregnant threw rape at just 14 and kept the baby.

My cousins ex girlfriend had a baby when she was told it was not a good idea because she was never really even suppose to have kids cuzz of some medical condition she had and her or the baby would likely die if not both and even if the baby did survive the bab ywould likely have the disease but hey she got pregnant and had a healthy baby girl 7 and a half months later and both mom and baby are alive and well.

Answer 3

When I was pregnent with my second they told me that it was a good possibilty that she was going to have downs...they needed to run some more tests..they would get back to me in a couple of days with the results. First I remembered a friend of mine. They told her to abort...the child was going to be compleately deformed. Keep on telling her for like the last 2 months of her pregnancy. She told them...he is fine. They said you don't understand he will be more than likely mentally retarded too. She said,doctors told my mother I would never walk and look at me...I am walking. She gave birth to a bueatiful, perfect baby boy who is 10 now. Second, I spoke to my granmother..who told me...You know what you have to do, you cannot bring a child like this into the world. (Don't judge her, you do not know this women). Thrid, I went with my in-laws to dedication, at a church no less. I had never been to one of these before, but guess who I met. A man, with downs. I watched him the whole time. Just watched, you know he smiled alot. That's really all I remember, him smiling. Fourth, I saw a lady on the news that had siames twins, and she gave the okay for the surgury. There was a 90% chance that one of the little girls would die. The news person asked her, how could she make that decision. Her response was one I hold onto till this very day. Somethings in life are worse than death. My daughter didn't have downs...could I give you an honest answer ,now, if I would have terminated the pregnancy...No.... I didn't have to make that call. In your heart, you will find the path that is right for you. And whatever it is, make it and never waiver, stand strong behind it. Decisions like this, can break you, if you don't stand strong in your belief.

Answer 4

If I tell you the truth I don't know what I would do in situation like this.Thankfuly I have had two beautiful healthy children and I wondered when I was pregnant what would I do if tests came with negative results such as -down syndrom,physical deformations or spina bifida or other major issues efecting my child and also the life after he was born.
Personaly I would propably end and terminate my pregnancy because to care around your sick child 24/7 and you know that he will die soon anyway then I would not let my child to live this short life I would spare him of complications and maybe even some pain.I can't imagine what people in those situations are going thru and really concider them as strong and brave to do that.

Answer 5

Sometimes those predictions are wrong. They told me my daughter would be retarded from my lead exposure while I was pregnant. (my husband had lead poisoning that we were unaware of) She is fine, and actually ahead in many areas they said she would be behind in. She is 23 months old, counts to 10, knows colors, and talks better than most 4 year olds. Her fine motor skills are just were they should be. Her doctor, who advised me to abort, is amazed.

We also have a friend who's "down's syndrome" baby is at the top of his class! She had the test done twice, and both came back positive. She went ahead and gave birth to a perfectly normal healthy little boy.

My cousin could not imagine life without her autistic son. Is he a challenge? Oh, yes!! But he is also a great joy. She didn't have the choice to abort, which she is very thankful for!

Of course I also work with physically and mentally handicapped children. Trust me, when I want to be around someone who is happy and knows what real joy is, I find one of "my kids" to be around. They don't seem to understand suffering, or maybe they just don't think "poor me" like normal people do! Many Down's Syndrome and autistic people say they would not want to be "normal". They are happy with who they are. And so many of our great thinkers were handicapped, you don't know what you would be killing.

If we wanted to rid the world of "non-standard" people then where do we draw the line? Why not kill them after birth? Should people with low IQ's be done away with, too? Poor people? Or maybe we can all go as far as Hitler did. His ideas were not new, they actually started in the US and England. This line of thinking is a very slippery slope, and we have already seen what it leads to............Do a google on "eugenics" if you want to know more.

Answer 6

I would have to concider the QUALITY of life over the Quantity/length of life.
If I was carrying a fetus which I knew would never speak, see, think, react, on it's own or which would never be able to do anything at all for itself, I would seriously concider abortion.
But it would really depend on the severity of the disability and it's likelihood that it would kill the inevidable child. Especially if it meant the child would only know pain.
I'd NEVER do that to a child, I'd never concider forcing a child to come forth into a world in which it would never know love, peace or life without pain.

Answer 7

Well it would really depend on the severity of the defect for me. If i found out that the baby had less than a year to live outside of the uterus then yes i would abort... i am also pro choice. Ending the suffering before it begins.

Answer 8

Abort because at the end everyone will suffer?? No, I think they should keep the child! Its better to have loved than never have felt it right? Even if everybody suffered later, they will also have cherished the moments they had with the child! Everybody hurts, thats how life is but everyone loves too!

Answer 9

Yes still give birth to the baby. And NO. Abortion is never an option. That is my opion though.Tell your friend's brother to spend as much time with a baby as he can even if it is born with defects.

Answer 10

Yeah, it would depend on the severity for me. I couldn't imagine giving life to a baby who would be seriously damaged for whatever time he/she was on this planet. That's not the kind of life I could imagine living...why would I bring someone into this world so they could live a life like that?