My dad just told me he was dissapointed in me help? Part 2?

Question

So my dad went to church today. (he's very religious) and he came back and told me I was a big dissapointment because I didn't graduate from highschool with my class. (I got my GED 2 years after) Then he said that he was dissapointed because I didn't go on a religious mission as expected for 19 year old boys in my religion. I am now 22. I don't care to go to church I don't think it's for me. What do you think is going on?


Last time I posted this I got alot of responses where people thought I was some kind of loser. Just to put this out there. I do live with my parents, However I have a full time job that pays over $40,000.00 a year, I am going to college, and I own a Small business as a online retailer.

Answer 1

I had a friend who told me that once you achieve adulthood your parents become your enemies.
It's true and now you are experiencing it as well.Get out of the house.The only persons expectations you should have to live up to is yourself

Answer 2

Well, the good thing is that if he is disappointed, he cares at one level or another.

Maybe he feels he has done something wrong; he was not succsessful at being the kind of dad he thought he should be because the results were different than his expectations.

If his religous beliefs are strong, he may have difficulty understanding how his own son could believe differently.

For a successful relationship of most any kind, you need to start on common ground. Look for the things that you can both definitely agree on. Praise him for his successes, even though you may not regard them as something you would consider success in your life. Take an interest in what he does, it doesn't mean that you have to agree that it is right for you, but it is right for him. You may find that he will begin to reciprocate.

Just as important, remember the lessons. If and when you have children, don't try to determine what path they will or should take. Instead, try to point them in the right direction by leading them, not pushing them.

I have 3 children, two about your age and one a couple years younger. 15 years ago, I wouldn't have even come close at an accurate prediction of how they would turn out in the adult world. I set some general expectations and guidelines for them. They didn't meet them all, but they are happy and each in their own way successful. I do respect their decisions although I don't always agree. They earned that respect. The interesting thing is that they are all three so very different.

Answer 3

Well, I could write a book, but you asked a simple question. The feelings you experience about your father and his behavior and beliefs concerning you will most likely never change. I did face my parents with my issues and offered to let them get to know me as an adult, but they are very set on their path and their own way of both believing and doing things.
The most freedom I have experienced is separating from their expectations of me and developing my OWN expectations of MYSELF. I am learning to compare myself only to myself. It is quite impossible to find your own path of fulfillment and please others at the same time. Work out everything with your parental relationships as best you can. Let go and accept the results, both positive and negative. Keep in mind that you will carry these experiences into your future relationships, but you can use it all for good. You are not a loser, just keep moving forward and discover your own desires. I do believe that we are all inherently good and will prosper.

Answer 4

And you still live at home? Now I'm dissapointed in you. You are probably emotionally vacant and your father wants you to now JC on a personal, emotional level. If you dont think its for you than you do have a lot to learn and it wont matter what kind of money you make or job you have your dad may consider those things irrelevant without Christ in your life.

Answer 5

I'm so sorry your dad has put his expectations on you on how HE thinks you should live your life, let me guess he's mormon? Anyway, you should be able to do what's right for you, maybe he feels guilty for letting you down in some way and it's coming out in a offensive attack about your life choices, if you're doing something productive with your life, you're not a loser...lots of people live with their parents while attending school, that being said if your dad is going to show this type of hostility to you, maybe you should think about moving out, it's not like you can't afford it! I wish you the best! Tell your dad you're disappointed in him for being so judgemental!

Answer 6

Whew! that's extensive. Teenage being pregnant...not at all a solid ingredient. What befell to risk-free intercourse or no intercourse in any respect whilst your that youthful. I advise, intercourse is eye-catching, even nevertheless it is not something particular whilst it somewhat is with the incorrect individual and clearly this replaced into in hassle-free terms a boy desirous to get laid! . nicely, now that your mom is known with and he or she helps your sister, that's solid. So, she would be able to be there whilst your sister tells your dad. As for the boy (and he's a boy)...you're top. he will maximum in all probability deny that he had something to do with it and which would be that. regrettably! So, it somewhat is going to likely be up on your sister to get a job, make sufficient money to assist her and the toddler, shelter the toddler, be a solid mom and be there for her toddler for the the remainder of her life. i'm helpful your mom will help her and coach her the thank you to shelter the toddler and he or she feels like the type of mom which will pitch in lots and help. i think of that your dad will honestly take this problematic, yet as quickly as he sees that toddler, he will fall in love with him/her and luxuriate in being a grandpa!

Answer 7

Sounds like your Dad is dissappointed in Himself and He is taking it out on you. My Husband says stuff to me that I have to let roll off my back , sometimes it is hard. Hang in there. Sounds like you are doing good so far, Try not to let this bother you. Your Dad will have to get the hint sooner or later.

Answer 8

Your not a loser, but it's time for you to move out and find a place of your own.

Answer 9

You don't need to listen to your Dad; just move away. You are self-sufficient, so live your own life. Only your father knows why he talks to you like he does, but it's his problem, not yours. It sounds like you are doing very well for yourself. Keep it up.

Answer 10

Geez.....What do you do? And how do I get in on it. $40k/year for 22 year-old with no college degree.