Your husband travels alot?What advice would you give to other wives who often need to manage their home alone?

Question

Positive advice sought on how you manage finances, deal with the children, find time for yourself, preparing spouse for travel, frustrations of husband's travel schedule, etc.

Answer 1

My husband is an over the road trucker, only home 2 days every 2 weeks. It gets so lonely but you have to keep busy. I have the new home and the whole front and back yard to do plus 3 pets to take care of. Kids are grown and gone. I do all the finances, he has direct deposit and I pay bills. He wants me to go with him, but with the pets and all, not sure yet. It does cause a strain on our relationship not being together much, we just got married 11 months ago, but it is more money and we need it with new house and all. He won't do it forever. But you need to be secure, be independent for sure, have friends, hobbies, do the bills so he doesn't have to worry about it. Make him good food and make him feel at home when he gets there. If you love them, it will all work out.

Answer 2

Breathe, you have alot to do, but it will only work if you stay sane. Make a schedule, everything seems to go a little smoother if you have some kind of plan in place, even if you have to evate from it a little. If your children are older and can help out a bit, give them little chores. It sounds like you are a at home spouse, which is fine, but your spouse can help in preparing his stuff for travel as well. When he is at home you should have dinner together as often as possible, since he is away often. The children need to be able to bond with him when it is possible. OF course it would be silly for me to tell you to take 30 minutes to an hour to yourself, because i am sure time like that is not available, so a couple times through out the day set 10 minutes aside to unwind and relax. At least twice a week take a bubble bath and when your husband is home schedule something with your girlfriends...you deserve it!

Answer 3

You just descibed my situation. There is no time for you. I am a stay at home mom and my husband travels every week for 4 days out of the week. On those days that he is home just try to ask him if he could give you a break. We never get breaks or time off. I am about to start bartending classes so I could get an evening job that is flexible with my husbands and my schedule. The plus side is I would get to have a break from the home and earn a little bit of spending money for myself. Not sure if I gave any advise but just try and come up with something before you have break down.

Answer 4

Fianaces are not as hard as they make them out to be, most people pay their bills in two monthly payments, say the 2 and 16 of each month.

Keep within your budget and make sure you balance the check book correctly (and hubby put the money in the bank) and you basicaly have it made.

Now you dont say how many kids you have, but raising the kids and managing them is much the same way as if he was there. MOMs managers, and you can do this. Their basic needs are met with the roof over their heads, clothes on their backs and a mom that loves and teaches them how to function in a world. You do all this through example. Dont let the kids run you around but you make sure your are controling their activities and paying attention to their concern. LET them help you, give them cores to do and see to it they do them along with bringing home good grades from school. Life is beautful and you are their shining exampe of that wonderful life.

Spouse can get himself ready for travel, he can actually fold and put all of his travel needs in his suit case and put it at the door on and then into the car for departure. That is his responsibility. Yours if it is yours, is to see to it that his socks, undies and clothing are clean and ready for him to pack.

His schedule is another matter. Sounds like he has a job that he needs to be away, what during the week, that is so much easier, than being goin say Sunday thru Friday. My dad was a pilote and I come from a big family, to this day it amazings me how my 5.2 105 lbs mom managed to raise us all....it comes from the hard work of the mother, wife, and the support and backup of the husband. (Please dont like hubby make a list of things you need to complet while he is gone!) I call this issuing orders, as long as you are running the household and family, he needs to handle the "stuff" he thinks you need to handle.

As long as you both, love, respect eacher and dont let each roll you are in overcome either of you, you will be ok.

Oh, time for yourself, mmmm...I think that would be when the lights are out for the kids, and just before you go to bed. If they are at school, take time them, for that long hot soak in the tub.
I bet you are doing a really great job.....just keep it up and dont feel too pressured to be all to all. (Iam a morning person, I get up an hour before anyone else, just to hear the birds sing!)

Answer 5

Just keep on doing what you been doing, My husband is in the air force and he is always gone, I just do the things that he does like cut the grass and get the oil changed in the car and it's really not that hard, We had 2 boys that are 3 and 5 I make time for them and you also have to put them to bed early like 8p.m. so you can have some time to yourself, because sometimes it feels like I can't breath because I don't get time to myself and it is really stressful because when my husband is home he helps out alot with the boys. So I understand where you are coming from.

Answer 6

My husband would do all his own packing. He's not a child. Sometimes he would use a limo service to get back & forth to the airport if the hours were late at night.

I just conduct my life as if he were here, drive, do errands, work, pay bills.

Always get the itinerary from him and keep the numbers posted by the phone in case you or the kids would want to call him.

I never called my husband when he's away unless it's to confirm he's arrived. I feel no need to be in contact on a daily basis since I'm quite independent myself.

Answer 7

I found that the hardest thing with a husband who was oft away was the adjustment to the family dynamics at his return. Being a disciplinarian while he was away and then allowing him to be when he was home can be detrimental. My advice to you is to communicate prior to his leaving so that transition isn't so difficult on everyone. You have to be the disciplinarian when he is away you have to remain the disciplinarian when he returns or the children will not respect your authority when he leaves again.
It certainly isn't an easy life. If he expects you to tend to those things in his absence, he can't expect you to stand aside and let him take control while he is there. Communication is the KEY.

Answer 8

A person can only do one thing at a time. The rest will have to wait. Don't get rushed about anything, it's not going anywhere and will be waiting for you to get to it. Do the very best you can, you have a full plate as it is. If anyone gripes about the way you do things, had it over to them and tell them it's their baby now, good luck with it.

Answer 9

Unless he limits the travel itinerary, the marriage will eventually come to a halt. You both have kiddies and they need both of you in their lives, and you have needs too. Think about it, its like you are single all over again!! and raising the kids alone without their father.

Answer 10

I know exactly what you mean,mine travels a lot I take care of my three year old,his 15 year old,the house the lawn the laundry everything...I am actually in your same boat hon..I just have to just slow down and take everything step by step..cause it can get crazy...Good luck